I have some serious issues to run by you all. I am not proud of much of what you are about to read, but here it is.
I was born Catholic and still am. I never really turned away from the Church. However, I don’t know that I could really say I was a true believer until relatively recently.
I am currently in my second marriage. My first marriage was to a Protestant. We were married in her church, but not in the Catholic Church. We divorced after four years.
Now, my second marriage is falling apart. I met my wife while still married to my ex-wife. My current wife became pregnant before we got married. We got married after our son was born. We were married by a judge. I am sickened by and ashamed of so much of what I have done in the past.
Right now, my wife wants a separation. If I do not agree to that, then she wants a divorce. I do not want either although we are both unhappy. I am trying to tough it out and to rehabilitate our marriage. We have both been mean and nasty to each other over the years (eight years). I have done some things that I am very ashamed of (no adultery). I have come to accept my Catholic faith to a much greater extent than I ever did before. She is a non-denominational Protestant who is sold on the “once saved, always saved” doctrine. I have told her I cannot agree to a separation or a divorce. It would be participating in an evil (1 Cor 7:10-11, Matthew 5:31-33). She says that she is okay with divorce because she knows she is saved no matter what and that God will forgive her. Further, she adds, I was married before, so it shouldn’t matter to me. I reply that two wrongs do not make a right. I also think that my wife may be mentally ill. She has done some extremely erratic, unstable things in the very recent past.
So, my question is, what do I do? Am I obligated to my former wife? Is it okay to agree to a separation with my current wife? There has been no adultery (that I know of), so divorce is certainly unjustified in this case. But, what do I do if she divorces me?
I’d really appreciate your advice and prayers!