Marriage situation


#1

Hi all, I am glad there is a website like this out there. I am writing in asking you to pray for me because I suspect my husband is doing things he should not be. First of all, recently all of our internet history is being deleted by him every day, and I know he has done some things in the past. I set up a screen name for him (he asked me to a while ago as he’s not real computer savy or so I thought) and i put secret parental controls on it because he is making me suspicious. Already I saw on a visited page pornhub.com. I thought maybe it was spyware, but after researching it, it seems to be a very safe site - in that it doesn’t have viruses and other things that porn sites usually have. this leads me to believe he is going on that site. It is a free and very explicit site from what I saw of it. I am going to keep checking his websites. I hope I am wrong and that is is some kind of website that showed up from an e-mail attachment or something without him knowing, but I am having a feeling that he is going on it because of what I read about this site and how it’s a “safe” site and doesn’t have that spyware, malware, viruses and popups, etc. I know we have issues and that people will say it’s wrong to snoop, but I feel something is going on online and he will definately deny it. Please pray that I get to the truth. It think (but hope not) that this is not going to turn out well. Thank you.


#2

I urge you to literature to read and discuss with him that explains what pornography does to marriage relationships and how addicting it is. Additionally, I recently watched a movie on EWTN about St Rita. The movie did a very good job showing how she addressed the problem in her marriage very directly, but with great love. Why don’t you order and watch it? I also urge you to talk to your pastor. I discourage you from sitting back.
I will pray!


#3

I urge you to gather literature to read and discuss with husband that explains how pornography effects marriage relationships and how addicting it is. Additionally, I recently watched a movie on EWTN about St Rita. The movie did a wonderful good job showing how St. Rita confronted the problem in her marriage very directly, but with great love. Why don’t you order and watch it? I also urge you to talk to your pastor. I discourage you from sitting back.
I will pray!


#4

Buy him the CD “Pure of Heart”: shop.catholic.com/product.php?productid=178

(I saw the banner for it at the top of the forum, next to the How To Become A Catholic banner)


#5

Is your husband Catholic? Perhaps an image ofOur Lord or Our Lady near the monitor would be a good reminder…


#6

Unfortunately, I agree with your suspicions; your husband is most like veiwing online porn. I am very sorry. You should confront him immediately and demand that he get help to stop. Pornography is a national, secret shame.


#7

Praying…


#8

Lord, help this good woman confront her husband in a charitable way so he can see how much his problem is hurting him, their relationship and his relationship with You. May she tell him that she knows he could have been on that porn site and wants him to seek some help. May he respond with no opposition and return to a faithful relationship with You and lead a chaste life with his wife. May his wife be kind but firm and talk with a priest if her husband still seems active with that porn site. Amen.


#9

IsabellaRose I ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in dealing with this and I ask the Holy Spirit to shake him into realising the harm and insult of viewing porn. Being deceptive isn’t doing him or your marriage any good either.

So please, Holy Spirit, step in and deal powerfully with this issue in their lives, and help them to grow in relationship with genuine love and faithfulness. Please purify this husband of this sinful pursuit…if all is as it may be.

Mother Mary please pray for them.
St Michael please intercede and work for the defeat of everything that is not pure and Christian blighting this marriage.

Our love and prayers are will you, Isabella. :grouphug:


#10

Amen.


#11

Remember O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known, that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee O Virgin of Virgins my mother, to thee do I come before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the word incarnate, despise not my petition, but in thy mercy hear and answer me.

By thy holy and Immaculate Conception O Mary, deliver us from evil


#12

Prayers…


#13

Our Father, Who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy Will be done, on earth, as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.


#14

Well, I deleted his account and re-created it to see if he really was looking at porn or not and he was - same sites came up plus another really sick one. Thank you all for your suggestions - I told him I knew and he basically said he didn’t care (and I am putting what he said politely) that I’m fat and that I better stay out of his business. Thanks for the suggestions but we already have a statue of Jesus right above the computer and that didn’t deture him from looking at live sex while Jesus looked at HIM. He doesn’t care. He is two faced even the priest is coming for dinner this week and here he is looking at porn like it’s no big deal. This is not the first thing I have caught him doing. I don’t know. I can’t stand to leave, but I can’t stand him either right now.


#15

Sending prayers your way.

I’m sorry I don’t have any helpful advice to give you. Unfortunately my sister’s husband also looks at porn (they are not Catholic). I will say prayers for you and your husband while saying the prayers for my sister.


#16

It does not sound like pron is your only problem. Lack of respect seems to be the root of the problems.When the prist comes for dinner ask him for the name of some people who can help council you and your husband back to a loving marriage.
Pray and ask for guidence you can turn this around only if he wants to. you can not do it alone.

Pray for us holy mother of God


#17

I’ll keep you in my prayers too and if you ask the Priest anything, do it after dessert and have coffee to go. (The poor man is probably looking forward to a nice dinner not a Marriage battle.)


#18

Hi Isabella,

You know it’s something in todays society that a hell of a lot of people just brush off as “normal”…and it “in no way impedes on your relationship with your husband blah blah…”

It does though…Absolutely! You feel pain when you see it! and that’s not something that you should feel…and likewise a man feels pain, and is as much “suspect” of his wife if he has some kind of forewarning or knowledge that she is doing “harm, or wrong…” to their relationship by engaging in anything similiar…

I don’t know hun, I would see this as a destructive influence on any relationship…afterall “porn” hasn’t always been in your face and as “available” as it is nowadays…no matter how normal the outside ( to your relationship ) makes it seem…

It’s just one of those things that is “another” fact of life in the here and now we have to deal with…Please, please know it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you…

It’s just temptation is all…

Put it in perspective honey and try to broach the subject with him…Tell him how upset you are over it, and that it goes against what you believe is the “best” direction for your relationship…

There isn’t one of us that doesn’t give in to the outside world at some stage…but you learn the foundation of your relationship by questioning just how much we are willing to “give in” to outside influences where our family are concerned…

Work at it honey, and be honest and upfront…Honesty is always rewarded with truth in my own humble experience…

Never forget, you’ve got “friends” and somewhere to go…

Take Care XX

P.S. Your not the first of us to have to face this…it’s not the Biggest problem, but it certainly is something that you should both talk about…and make necessary changes with…it can become an addiction! That doesn’t mean your dh is “addicted”…

Just broach the subject carefully and not “full on”…only YOU know what your relationship is like and how much of a problem it is…It could be fleeting…

No doubts though, porn in any way shape or form is damaging to the honesty of sharing between man and wife…and the beauty that can be reached when we “keep it real…”

Good luck, and God bless…XX


#19

Hail Mary,
full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the Fruit Of Thy Womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen


#20

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