Marriage Trouble

I am requesting all the prayers I can get. My wife and I are experiencing the most difficulty that we have ever had in our marriage, and I don’t want to lose her. We have a 7 and 5 year old daughter and I want to remain a family for the rest of my life. I have been unfaithful on the internet and in sharing texts and pictures that ultimately cost me my job. We had to move and my wife has suffered with all of this. I deeply reget any hurt that I have caused her. Now, the shoe is on the other foot. she has been communicating with a colleague through email. She assures me nothing physical has happened and I believe her, however, I am scared that she wants out of our relationship. I can’t get any answers from her about what went on and she constantly throws my infidelity back at me.

I need all your prayers to help us overcome our differences and start building our marriage back up. I am so remorseful for what I have done to her. I have asked God to help me understand and allow her to have the space to deal with her emotions, but my anxiety is never ending and the timetable I want an answer on I am not in control of. Therefore, if you would pray for any or all of my intentions, I would truly be appreciative.

Matt

One-Don’t beat yourself up for what happend. We all make mistakes.

Two-be careful-if your wife is trying to “even the score” or something, that’s not right at all.

Three-I’m praying for you.

You owe her one. That doesn’t in any way excuse her behavior, but she set the standard when she stuck by you when you betrayed her. The only thing you can do is talk to her, pray about it, and be ready to forgive her in the event that she makes bad choices. She will figure out that she’s in the wrong here, but it might take some time.

Forget your needs now and focus on your family; we can’t undo the past but maybe you need to discuss with your with that you both go to councilling as to continue as you are is poisonous for both of you and the relationship and ultimately the Kids.

Bring the conversation to the Kids; remind your wife that you are both adults and if the relationship broke up you are old enough to get over it but what about the kids. If you are both adults and care for your Kids then sort it. Don’t believe the rubbish that kids cope with separation well ; they don’t and the don’t cope with a poisonous home either. I have only recently been dealing with 2 wonderfull young men clearly still suffering for the immature and selfish behaviour of their parents. So without sounding to harsh stop feeling sorry for yourself and srt it . I will pray for you on this ; I know Christ can and will sort it but someone needs to be grown up and selfless in this. :frowning:

Do you have any vacation time, and someone like grandparents (or family) to help take care of the kids? If so, you need to drop everything to save your marriage.
The first thing you do is go home as soon as possible, go to your wife in private, get on your knees, and beg for her forgiveness. Tell her that she means all the world to you. Tell her that you will do whatever it takes to save your marriage. Mean it. Be sincere.
Your feelings are not important here. Sorry to tell you that, but you have royally screwed up. You will be tremendously blessed if you can salvage your family from this betrayal.
As a child of divorce, I can tell you that the legacy of a broken family haunts me still.
Get to work.

Forgiveness is not only for the one who offended, it’s for the one who was offended.

My husband & I went through a very rough time in our marriage. His addiction wrecked havoc in every aspect of our lives. My life was unmanageable.

Forgiveness is a choice and it can’t be hurried. Only the offended person knows when it’s time.

It takes lots of time, patience, love and prayers.

I will pray for you both.

Check your PMs

I suggest that you find a Retrouvaille weekend as soon as possible. Have heard many good things about this program, that it has saved many marriages from the brink of divorce.

I don’t think it is at all uncommon to have the wronged spouse go out and start something himself or herself. It’s a huge assault to a spouse’s self-esteem to be cheated on, even if it’s virtual adultery, as with porn. It’s not a healthy way to address the pain, but it’s not uncommon.

Will your wife go to a counselor? You need to find someone who is familiar with infidelity and porn addiction. I realize that you did not say you had actual sex with another woman but what you’ve done is tremendously hurtful, as you know. The counselor would have specific ways that you could regain the trust of your wife, tools for you to break these destructive habits, etc.

I will add you to my prayers.

**Retrouvaille weekend **

This helped my husband & I immensely. We are very involved in it. TheRealJuliane, thanks for suggesting it. :thumbsup:

A third recommendation for Retrouvaille!

Thanks for all the prayers and advice. I would strongly recommend the book The Game Plan by Joe Dallas.

Trusting in God!

Dear Matt I will be praying for you.

I will be praying for you and your situation.:signofcross: I agree with the advice, don’t beat yourself up too badly over this, cause we all do make wrong choices and don’t always think things through. It’s amazing what God can do when we turn things over to Him for His will to be done. :blessyou:

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