heres my problem

i am transexual and because of the change to my birth certificate (now says female)
i can only legally marry a man.
as i am also catholic is it possible for me to marry in church?

Welcome to CAF! :wave:

Your best bet is going to be to speak to your parish priest about this.

The Church does not recognize “reassignment” surgery. You are biologically a male and will always be a male. You cannot marry another male.

It would also be inappropriate for you to marry a female given your sex confusion.

Such confusion over sex is really best dealt with by a professional in psychology, not CAF.

I agree too, it is best to talk with your pastor about this. On a forum we don’t have the ability to go as ‘deep’ as someone ‘in person’ can. I hope, for you, this will get you into the right direction.

May I ask, where you’re from? because of the legal issues you were talking about.

Out of curiosity and hypothetically speaking, what if someone is born as both male and female and had to pick a gender they most identify with. Are they not able to marry because they knowingly cannot procreate? And have not many couples married even though they completely know they cannot procreate due to various reasons (removal of testes/ovaries/uterus due to cancer at a young age, or intentional sterilization)? I understand that the Church has a sound truth, but we live in a time when there are so many areas that leave people confused. And, in my experience, it is hard to find a spiritual advisor who is willing to lay down God’s Law and not sugar coat it at fear of offending someone.

My advice is to original poster is to seek a good spiritual director. Know, that above all else (including marriage) your goal should be to carry out the Will of God. Sometimes our past doesn’t allow us to go where we want to in our future, but our suffering in carrying those crosses is a powerful tool we can use to get one another into Heaven. May God Bless you and guide you. Life isn’t easy, but you can do it with Him who gives you strength. <3

I live in the uk

the problem i can see is that under uk law the birth certificate is changed to female and to complicate things under uk law it is unlawful due to the gender recognition act 2004 to ask if someone was born with a different gender than that presented on the birth certificate (disclosure)
therefore if a man and woman present the correct birth certificates on what grounds could the marriage be refused without breaking the law.

You COULD see a priest for marriage and LIE to him about your past and future, and be “technically” approved for Marriage in the Church, but God sees all, and the sacrament can only be valid IF you are approved by disclosing the complete truth.
Marriage has to be able to be consummated, and both parties, to my knowledge, have to be open to and able to create life.

It is not a matter of secular law, it is a matter of reality and the Church’s teaching. It is not possible for you, a man, to marry another man. It is not possible for you to change reality.

Moreover, your baptimsal record is not changed.

Any marriage you attempted would be invalid if you attempted to marry a man because you are not a woman, you are a man. This would be fraud. This would be immoral and invalid. You would be required to disclose your transgender/sex confusion issues to the priest as well as your surgery before marriage. He would be obligated to refuse such a marriage.

Please get real psychological help, and do not continue to seek ways around reality.

A biologica male attempting to marry another biological male is invalid, whether they are able to deceive the priest into marrying them or not. The proper matter is not present.

Do the research, such a condition is exceedingly rare and would require investigation by the Church with support from a doctor. Also this is a red herring, completely irrelevant to the OP’s post. The OP is a man. The OP has had mutilating surgery to change his appearance to be female. However, he was, is, and always shall be biologically male. He cannot marry another male.

Even if he wanted to marry a female, such a disordered sexual confusion would prevent him from being able to marry. This is a serious psychological disorder.

That is not the basis on which they would be refused marriage.

Not relevant in any way.

There is nothing confusing about this-- born a male, he is always a male. He cannot change that fact. He cannot marry another male. He has now gone through mutilation surgery to have a female appearance. If he went through surgery to appear female and wants to marry an actual biological female, then he is suffering the delusion that he is a lesbian-- serious sex confusion would render it impossible to marry on defects of psychic nature.

disclosure of such records would lead to a fine under the gra 2004

** You would be required** to disclose your transgender/sex

again see above.

disclosure is not an option.

I doubt it. The baptismal record is required for marriage. The baptimsal record is an official document of the Church. It is not changed.

So, if you were Robert and now you are Pam, well, that will be evident.

Neither is marriage, so it’s really a moot point.

The Church is not going to change its requirements for marriage. This type of disclosure IS required.

You could certainly pursue an invalid civil marriage, but this would bar you from the sacraments. If you want to pursue a Catholic marriage, then you will have to meet the Catholic Church’s criteria. I am sorry that you do not meet them. I am sure this is difficult to hear.

so you are saying lying is my best option?

as far as consummation goes i am past the age at which i could bear children and i already have four children.

Lying is not an option. You cannot marry in the Church. Please go talk to your pastor who can explain this to you.

Child bearing is not relevant.

if the baptismal record is not required for marriage then it is irrelevant as the certificate of birth confirms my name and gender.

interesting point you make about the sacraments tho as i was kind of assuming that i would not be able to take communion anyway.

The baptismal certificate is required for a marriage to take place in the Catholic Church [for both Catholics and those baptized in another Christian tradition] and a copy is requested during the pre-cana phase … and one assumes that you are a Catholic seeking information on a Catholic ceremony … for non-baptized persons - permissions have to be obtained before they can marry a Catholic in the Church … so there is a disclosure obligation on your part to be honest in seeking the sacraments and I believe with your intended spouse … honestly being the foundation to a happy marriage … and you have no hope of concealing anything from God - He knows all and sees all …

No one is counselling you to lie in seeking your marriage … lying in order to receive the sacrament of marriage would immediately make the sacrament null … I am sure you realize that fact and why that is the case.

One question I have is why you would seek a “Catholic” wedding ceremony - when you seem aware that in order to have it - you have to deceive :shrug: - if you have to lie to obtain it - what value will it bring to you and your spouse? :confused:

And if you believe that you are already outside Communion with the Church [you don’t say why - if its life style choice or other… ] from your feeling you cannot receive the Eucharist - why even seek a marriage in the Church?

the truth is i havent been to church for many years and the question was a hypothetical one really to see what the reaction would be.
i attended church and went to a catholic school. my parents are both catholic

i do still consider myself to be catholic but am unsure about what reaction i would receive if i ever went back to church.

Lying is NOT an option for a true Marriage. But OP seems to present that she is trying to hide the truth, I was trying to show OP that you can try to get around the rules, but that would be a serious sin and it wouldn’t change the fact that it would be an invalid marriage.

Child bearing is relevant when it comes to any marriage. There are many reasons why OP cannot be Married in the Church, and this is one of them. Marriage, no matter how late in life has to be able to be open to life, it is part of the requirements. As a former Man, I assume that she has had removal of her sexual reproductive organs, and cannot be open to life. I don’t think many people acknowledge this rule, which is why I pointed it out. REF to CCC Part 2, Article 7, V. The Goods and Requirements of Conjugal Love #1643

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