I have often explained that sterile or elderly couples may get married because, as has occurred in the Bible, a miracle from God could still give them a child, whereas homosexual couples cannot marry because two members of the same gender simply cannot have children. Is this an appropriate way to explain Church teaching?

I also have a friend who is now engaged. He is living with his fiance’, presumably engaging in sexual relations. They are both Lutheran. He has expressed to me that he may select me as his best man. Is it ok for me to accept or should I avoid this?


Marriage as a Catholic sacrament is available only between a man and a woman.

As a best man does nothing sacramental in any Christian wedding, I see no reason to refuse. If you feels it publicly condones their unproven, assumed and gossip ridden judgment of illicit sexual relations then you should search your own conscience.


I would not want to be best man or even a member of the congregation.

As a Catholic you would be condoning it and could never argue against it anymore.


Homosexual activity is against natural law as well as God’s law. The fact that procreation cannot occur is only a part of that.

As to your second question, are you referring to a homosexual or to a heterosexual couple? A Catholic cannot participate in a homosexual “wedding.”

A Catholic may certainly participate in a valid Lutheran wedding.


It isn’t clear from your post if this is a homosexual relationship or if this is heterosexual. Maybe you can clarify. If it is homosexual, then no because that isn’t a marriage. The better thing for you to do is discuss this with your priest.


One way to look at why a man and woman who are sterile can get married, even in the Church is this: Marriage as a sacrament does not depend upon whether the couple can have a child. That is not the basis of Christian (Catholic) marriage. Marriage is the mutual gift of man and woman to each other (in Christ, if a Christian marriage). The basis is if they can perform the marital act of union - ie intercourse, where they become “one flesh” by the mutual gift of themselves to the other.

The couple of course must not attempt to frustrate the fruit of this union by contraception or abortion, but these do not invalidate the marriage in and of themselves, except as they would expicitly violate the marriage vows. An example of that would be if a wife or husband insisted on using contraception every time the married couple united, such that the intent was for the married couple to never have children.

Homosexual sexual relations cannot be mutual self-gift (not to get too graphic). Neither can someone who is definitively and permanently impotent or who is underage (presently defined in Canon Law as under age 16 for men and under age 14 for women).

Edited to add: A couple who between whom one had been intentionally sterilized previously and wished to marry should seek spiritual advice from a trusted priest.

May God bless you.



To clarify, my Lutheran friend is a man engaged to a nice young woman.


I think tominator2 explained well. :thumbsup:

As far as I can tell, there is no moral reason you shouldn’t agree to be best man at your friend’s wedding. IF the couple is having premarital sex (and it sounds as though you are uncertain, so give them the benefit of the doubt), then their getting married would “correct” that situation, in the sense that they would no longer be having sex outside of marriage. The ceremony isn’t about celebrating premarital sex, it’s about celebrating the Sacrament of Marriage. So it most likely would not be assumed that you are condoning sex outside of marriage, but rather that you are showing belief in the importance and goodness of their marriage.

HTH. :slight_smile:


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