Marriage


#1

From what I understand, couples are allowed to do anything in the marital act as long as it ends in intercourse, right? I understand that it has to be between them and that lust can’t enter the act.


#2

Yes, the conclusion of the act must be open to the possibility of procreation, but yes, foreplay can include “other things,” if that’s what you’re asking.

“Lust” within marriage is a more difficult concept for me. I’d be curious to hear other responses on this, too.


#3

“Anything” is a pretty broad term. I would not say a couple can do “anything”. A couple can do anything that conforms with the objective moral criteria of the church.


#4

Sexual desire is not lust. Lust is unrestrained and greedy. IMHO


#5

That is probably one of the best distinctions I have ever heard regarding lust.


#6

Lust would also mean USING the other person for personal gain. In other words, lust is selfish. On the other hand Love is the opposite.

Some of our protestant brothers and sister would allow lust in the marriage. They often mistake that sexual desire is the same as lust.


#7

I agree 100%…

I asked a Priest one time if anal and oral sex were acceptable in a marriage… And he said "Well, God made everything with a purpose, so mouth and anus have a specific purpose, you know, to eat and go to the bathroom."
And it made sense to me, I never felt it was quite right, and I asked for curiosity… And was pretty satisfied with the answer I got.

BUT I must accept that I didn’t really ask him about oral sex as foreplay… :confused:
Anal sex I don’t think is even considered foreplay, and even if it was… I’d never do it… It feels wrong in my heart (that’s just me though)


#8

I don’t think “anything” is approapriate just because one is married. An old friend of mine, now a widow, told me that her husband would get xxx porn films, make her watch them with him and then want her to act like the women in those degrading films. She said it was a nightmare, that she felt so dirty and disgusted, and that there was no love or intimacy at all.
Open to procreation or not, I think you would agree, that this situation was not OK.
In other words, “anything” of a sexual nature is not OK just because you are married and open to procreation.


#9

Kronos,

You really should go peruse the topics in the morality forum. There are many threads on this topic over there and you will find all kinds of opinions. There are also several questions in the Ask the Apologist forum also dealing with this.


#10

This is good advice. Thank you to all who participated, this thread is now closed.

Mane Nobiscum Domine,
Ferdinand Mary


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.