I’ve posted a few times before on this thread and others but here is a recap of my situation - My wife (lifelong non-denom. evangelical) and I (newer Christian,non-denom,for 2 yrs.) were married in May 07. Both non-denom and united in beliefs. Everything was great in every aspect. Attended church,prayed and studied God’s word together. About 2-1/2 mo. ago I began to have an interest in Catholicism. I’ve heard brief comments in the past about how many Catholic beliefs are un-biblicalfull of man-made rules and even blasphamous. A good Baptist pastor friend of mine even told me one time that Catholics are not Christians.Originally out of ignorance I just went along with them but recently I’ve felt the need to study and find out excatly what Catholics believe. After a few months of study,research, and prayer I’ve come to the conclusion that I might seriously have to become Catholic. I have nothing against the church I’ve been attending but I’ve found more truth in Catholic Christianity and see my relationship with Christ prospering by converting.
One big problem though - my wife. No doubt she is against Catholicism. She thinks Catholics “can be Christians” but their doctrine is mostly un-biblical and some blasphamous. She has no issues with someone being Catholic (her grandparents are) but her husband (me) being Catholic is a huge NO. She was in shock when I said there is a possibility of me converting. She is scared, sad, feeling deserted and confused. She wonders why God is doing this to her. Raising children is the biggest fear she has. She knows I would want to raise them Catholic and is scared of issues that might arise like how do we teach them about God when we believe different things. I’ve explained if we could’nt come to a peacefull decision about the childrens faith then it would be possible to raise them in her church as long as my faith is’nt disrespected. I explained to her (if I converted) that after Mass I would still attend church and worship with her. I have never disrespected her beliefs,her church or her personaly. I have never said she was wrong or in a false church or anything of that nature. But just by wanting to be Catholic she says I am saying she is wrong and has even stated I must think she is damned because she is non-Catholic. She has asked me many questions and I have answered them and debated her,always by letter. This seemed to be the best way since her emotions sometimes get the best of her when debating faith. I have pointed her to Catholic.com, given her Catholicism for dummies,The Catholic Answer Book,The Catachism and of course the Bible which we always look to. She says she understands the Church but it’s apperent she does not. I’ve done the best I could to show her why I want to be Catholic without disrespecting her faith. I’ve explained how I think it can work but I’m still hitting a brick wall. I’ve explained how this is my “personal relationship” with Jesus and how my spirituality is not being totally fed at her church and she says that is selfish since we are one,one flesh as in marriage. The more we and I pray for guidence the more I feel led to be Catholic.
Things came to a head last night. No more letters and email. We argued,which was mostly me. I lost my temper and raised my voice a little too high out of built up frustration. I told her that even if I don’t convert I will still believe what I do,which is not what her church teaches. I would be giving up my integrity, my conscience and my personal beliefs just for the sake of her view of unity. Even if I don’t become Catholic I will still be Catholic in thought. It’s very frustrating. Do I give up my integrity and beliefs just to make my wife happy, or do I seek God as I feel led to in the Catholic Church and make my wife miserable? Either way she will probably not be happy because my beliefs will stay the same.
Do I become Catholic and be spirituality fed and peacefully attend her church with her but possibly suffer at home? Or do I stay non-denom Protestant, attend her church and not be fully fed spiritualy, but still suffer at home and personaly? My wife thinks this can never be resolved unless one of us fully converts to each others faith. I’m unsure. I’m more optimistic then she is but as of yesterday I’m lost. I am very sad and frustrated with this whole thing, as my wife is also. No matter what happens our beliefs will still be different. I did’nt go to church with her this morning and I’m unsure if I will go again any time soon. I am so frustrated and feel lost inside. She thinks I’m being decieved somehow while I think I’m being enlightend by the truth of God. We are both Irish and sometimes it’s like Northern Ireland in our home. I’ve never prayed more in my whole life.
Does anyone have any suggestions? Please pray for us.
God Bless You All!