Married couple intimacy


#1

My beautiful brothers and sisters,
I need to clarity this once and for all. My wife and I for age and other valid reasons cannot handle additional children. When we are intimate, must all our encounters culminate in intercourse?


#2

In a word, yes.


#3

Then so be it, thank you brother. I must commit to full adherence. There was one priest who, in response to my telling him that sometimes I get so excited so quickly, had told me that in those cases I was ok because that's the way I was made. But I think I took the exceptional case exceptions and began stretching it in to more normal situations and before I went and changed my behavior, I thought I'd better check to make sure I'm changing to the right thing.


#4

[quote="r4j, post:3, topic:220415"]
Then so be it, thank you brother. I must commit to full adherence. There was one priest who, in response to my telling him that sometimes I get so excited so quickly, had told me that in those cases I was ok because that's the way I was made. But I think I took the exceptional case exceptions and began stretching it in to more normal situations and before I went and changed my behavior, I thought I'd better check to make sure I'm changing to the right thing.

[/quote]

I would not be too quick to discount the priests council...That is what they are there for. They know you and your circumstances better than we can here.

JohnnyK's short answer is correct in so far as it goes... The intent of sexual intimacy needs to be ordered toward intercourse. However, if you accidentally, "get so excited so quickly", and "short circuit" the act, then no sin would be incurred since the intent to avoid intercourse was not there.

This may be what your priest is refering to.
I hope I am reading you right without getting too graphic...:blush:

Peace
James


#5

The best way to avoid these situations is to not allow the "encounters" to start in the first place. If you have prayerfully decided to avoid conception, then there is the option of using Natural Family Planning. Contact your parish or diocese to see if there are local classes. :)


#6

The answer to your question is: yes. Please know that you're not alone and that many married Catholics survive (and thrive!) with little or no sex during times in which they have discerned that they have grave reasons not to conceive. :)


#7

Thank you my brothers and sisters for your warm, kind and wise words. James, you are correct, that my priest (who is also my spiritual director) was referring to just those times when we intended to culminate properly but sometimes my body can't hold out. I was talking with my wife last night and we're going to return to what is true and right. I was definitely taking my priest's counsel and using it in situations to suit my own desires. We know where following our own desires can lead.
I have gotten a name of an NFP specialist from my deacon and I want to learn that approach. Up to now, we've been practicing our version of NFP which means I rely 100% on my wife to say yea or nay.


#8

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.