Married couples: How do you share the sign of peace at Mass?

In real practice, not how you think you ‘ought’ to, or what is right or wrong.



and my parents too, i kiss them on the cheek

Hubby and I share a peck on the lips or a handshake or a wave, depending on how close we are sitting to each other. If all three kids are between us, then it is a handshake or a wave if it is too difficult to shake hands across or behind our kids shaking hands with others around us. If we are close enough, then it is a kiss. I voted “kiss” since that is what we most often share. We generally say or mouth “Peace, Dear” to each other as well.

At a typical Mass, dh & I sit apart, with our children in between us. When that occurs, we shake hands as a sign of peace.

On the rare occasion that we sit next to each other, we give each other a “kiss” of peace (small kiss on the lips).


Usually a light peck on the cheek along with a handshake.

There is no right or wrong.

Assuming it’s your own spouse and not someone else’s of course.


Kiss my hubby and then we each kiss the daughter.

DH isn’t the most demonstrative of people so a pat on the arm or hand and a warm smile works just fine for us. It’s what you mean, the spirit of the thing, rather than an elaborate display.

High-five not an option in the poll. :smiley:

We all sit together in the first pew on the left side of the church (right side is reserved for handicapped)… my wife, daughter, son, D-I-L, grandson and little baby granddaughter, with me the last one into the pew, on the end. More often than not, I am performing EM duties (privileges?) at Mass, so I start at one end of the family and quickly kiss/hug all of my family’s lovely ladies, and just hug the guys… on my way up to the altar.

“I love you, peace be with you honey.”

With a hug and a kiss.

I voted ‘kiss’ but I want to mention that it is on the cheeks, not on the mouth. I shake hands with my neighbors and wave at people further away. The other point I want to make is that I usually share the sign of peace with others before my spouse, as does he, in order to not exclude those around us who might not be attending with their family/spouse as I am.

Actually, apparently there is! :eek: I just was reading a thread a week or so ago that seemed to state a hug or “intimate” display of peace was frowned upon… I had no idea! DH and I always hug!

I will try and see if I can find that thread…

Edited to add the link:
From the Ask An Apologist forum

If you are serving as an EMHC, you should not be making your way up to the altar until after the celebrant has communicated. This is according to the GIRM:

  1. The priest may be assisted in the distribution of Communion by other priests who happen to be present. If such priests are not present and there is a very large number of communicants, the priest may call upon extraordinary ministers to assist him, e.g., duly instituted acolytes or even other faithful who have been deputed for this purpose.97 In case of necessity, the priest may depute suitable faithful for this single occasion.98

These ministers should not approach the altar before the priest has received Communion, and they are always to receive from the hands of the priest celebrant the vessel containing either species of the Most Holy Eucharist for distribution to the faithful.

I don’t mean to hijack the thread, but, the GIRM is very clear as to when the EMHCs should approach the altar.

As for the sign of peace, my parents were not demonstrative (mom was, dad is not). So, when my dad and I go to Mass, we shake hands. My parents shook hands as did my paternal grandma and step-grandfather.

It’s OK…just so long as you did not participate in the poll.

Where? I couldn’t find it. Thanks.

Paragraph 162, here.

Thanks. Figured it was there somewhere. Just couldn’t readily find it. Still probably begs the question, practically, of what is meant by “altar” in a given setting, but that’s a different thread. Thanks again.

My husband and I shake hands with an amused smile;), as it’s the only time we ever shake hands!

Catholic Poet

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