Married or Nun?

It has been some time since I’ve last been on here, a girl of 17 with parents who were not supportive (and still aren’t) of the Catholic Faith. I’m nearly finished with a bachelor’s in English in college now, and hope to eventually move out of the house. Yet, at 21 I still feel as confused as before. Part of me wants to be married, to have a nice husband, a good house, and loving family around me. The other part of me wonders if maybe the reason I have yet to even date is because I may still be called. Though my parents are not fond of the Christian faith they decided to have me go to a non-denominational church nearby. I didn’t think I would like it as much, even though its the one I got baptized in (I did this behind my parent’s back, though they later found out). I do like prayer, and reading stories of the saint’s or women from the Bible. One of my favorite’s is a film called Esther. For some reason I could not explain after seeing it I broke down crying feeling like nothing I gave was enough. I think, in my busy life, sometimes I forget that he gave me the greatest sacrifice of all in giving up his only son for us. And I think what can I give that is enough? What temptation can I resist to follow him? Is giving all of myself enough? And yet I’m not sure what I’m called too. Thoughts?

I would say wait until you are sure.

I got married young…before I knew there was such a thing as a vocation. And I think I might have made a different choice. I cried when I watched “God…the bigger Elvis”

Don’t get me wrong…I’ve been married 24 years…love my husband…but have no kids. It’s my vocation now. The way my return to the Church has gone…it makes me think that God is giving me a second chance…a different kind though.

And even now I wonder…

This catechism on vocations helped me with a lot of the same questions that you seem to be having:

God bless, I’ll pray that your vocation becomes clear to you so that you can find happiness in both this life and next! :slight_smile:

Well** Duchess** you have a wonderful story to tell even at your relative young age! :thumbsup:
God has led you so far and with your continued pray to The Holy Spirit;He will guide you to the next stage of your life.I think the ideal for you is to have a good spiritual director(be it a priest or a holy religious Sister or saintly Nun) --if you have not already.You must have some contacts ,the one being the priest who led you into The Church.There are great vibrant religious communities, whether they be active Sisters or an enclosed Community of Nuns available on the Web & on Catholic Answers.

At the moment I am reading about The Tyburn Nuns ,as a book has been just released about the Foundress Mother Of St.Peter(Adele Garnier).I was led on her faith journey from being a single woman, to that of a foundress of a contemplative community.The same Holy Spirit who Adele listened to is ,the same Giude who will wisper gently in the ear of your heart.

As for the rest—I will keep your intentions in my prayers–especially through The intercession on the one who “pondered in Her heart” ;The Immaculate Heart of Mary and the spouse of The Holy Spirit.

The are many web-sites that nuns have created.

Check out:

Don’t make any decision now. Study and pray.

Am I correct in assuming you are still not Catholic?

If so, then you are asking the wrong question here. As a protestant Christian, you cannot be a nun. So as other have pointed out in your previous threads, here’s the question you need to be asking:

Should I be a protestant or a Catholic?

I read through your previous threads, and I understand that when you first starting posting on the CAF you were still under your parents’ authority. Now, however, you are an adult and you need to stop placing the responsibility for your relationship with Christ on your parents. Whether they are paying for your education or not, whether you are living in their home or not, whether they agree or “allow” it or not – you need to take a stand for who and what God is calling you to be.

I encourage you to pray over what Our Lord says here in the gospels:

from Matthew, chapter 10:

34 Do not think that I came to send peace upon earth: I came not to send peace, but the sword. 35 For I came to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. 36 And a man’s enemies shall be they of his own household. 37 He that loves father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me; and he that loves son or daughter more than me, is not worthy of me. 38 And he that takes not up his cross, and follows me, is not worthy of me. 39 He that finds his life, shall lose it: and he that shall lose his life for me, shall find it.

Following Christ is not for whimps! And as a mother, I daily have to reflect on His admonition to parents not to love their children more than Him. The love of a mother for her child is so strong – and so I must cleave to Christ all the more.

I am curious why you have not pursued the question of whether or not to be a Catholic. Or are you only considering becoming Catholic is you believe God is calling you to religious life?

How much do you know about the Church? Have you read any of the ***Catechism of the Catholic Church***? Have you read any of the writings of the Church Fathers? (“Fathers” as in some of the earliest leaders and defenders of the Church going all the way back to the early second century)

I will definitely keep you in my prayers, dear one, as you continue your search for the Heart of our loving God. I will pray for your family as well. May He bless you abundantly!


If I were you I would not even think about marriage as long as I had any thoughts about entering religious life. Can you find a spiritual director and focus on discernemnt? Also, visiting a religious house a few times would help you see things more clearly. If you feel like you belong there, that is a sign to take it a step further and stay for longer. Even if you start the journey of religious life it would take you a few years before the final profession of vows. There is time to reflect and leave if that is not your vocation. However, with marriage it is more tricky. Many young women assume they should get married so they find a nice guy, get married, have kids. Some wonder if they made the right choice. There is no several year discernment, unless you plan to date and be engaged for a long time. I sometimes wonder what I would have chosen if I had good guidance at that age and was encouraged to look into religious life as an option.

A Nun, and pray for Jesus second coming, because there is nothing worth it any more in this earthy life…


Thank you for the referral.

To clarify, Cloister Outreach–the first link–is a private lay association of the faithful. Under their umbrella, they have a preparatory association of hermits, known as the Cloisterites.


Live the life of a lay contemplative within your own home. I pray you persevere to Catholicism. Only after receiving Our Lord in the Eucharist will you be able to discern properly whether or not you are called to the convent.

It wouldn’t hurt to visit convents, and ask for prayers for your situation. If I remember correctly, you’re from KY? So am I.


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