Married people: Ideal gap


If you are married, what do you consider the ideal gap in age between spouses? Base it on your own experience and what you have observed.


None of the above… IMHO


What do you mean?


An ideal age gap does not exist for married couples. Since your question does not specifically address what characteristic(s) you are concerned with, I am unsure as to how exactly to answer you question. I am 2 years older than my wife. Does that make our marriage ideal? No. If we were separated by 5 years, would that make it more ideal? No. If she were older than me, would that make it more ideal? Again, no. If she loved me, I loved her, and we both loved God and attempted to include Him in our marriage in all things, would that make our marriage more ideal? Yes. Age isn’t a factor. God bless.


Don’t you think age can be a factor in how people relate to each other? we need and offer different things at different ages, don’t we?


To an extent, yes. But I believe that age comes into play more when one is talking about the differences between the generations and not a 1 to 5 year period (or even a 10 year period). Even when discussing differences between the generations, I don’t believe a “gap” is insurmountable at all. Both the younger generation and the older generation can learn something from the other. What is important in a marriage is having both individuals possessing a desire to have God involved in their marriage, a mutual respect for the other person, a commitment to the other person, honesty in all things, communication, and of course love.


What Tietjen said.

My marriage is definitely inter-generational - we probably skip two generations (60 and 43). Neither of us has ever related to or not related to people on the basis of age or generation. We have our problems but none of them have anything to do with the age gap.

A wide age gap can be a consideration with regard to raising and educating children and other such practicalities, but then you can marry someone your own age on a good income and have them hit by a bus and leave you with children to raise and educate and fund all on your own.


Well…my dh and I are ONE WEEK apart, he was actually born on my due-date! So, for me that’s the ideal gap:D However, my dad was 13 years older than my mom and they had a very happy marriage, so for them that was the ideal gap;)

Anna x


I don’t think there’s a universal “ideal”… each couple is unique.

I think my marriage is wonderful… DH is 10 years older than me…
But everyone else’s marriage is totally independent of ours… so again, no universal ideal number!


Yeah I personally don’t think it matters. I like that my DH is two years older than me but if he was 10 years older, I would still be happy. Maybe if the husband is more than five years younger there could be maturity issues ( depending on when you get married ) but I personally don’t think it matters what the age gap is.

Of course I am offended by 50 + year old men marrying 16 year old girls ( as we see in El Dorado, AZ - polytgamist communities ) but otherwise… I don’t care.


Colorado City, Arizona. :wink:


None of the above.

It depends on the couple.

My DH and I are 13 years apart - he’s 30 and I’m 43. If he were any other man this may not work, but for us it works fine.




Gap of eighteen years here, and loving it :slight_smile:


DH is 4.5 years younger than me. He has yet to turn 30…(what’s taking him so long?) :slight_smile:

**He **is ideal for me. I rarely even think about the age difference. :shrug:

My coworker’s wife is 5 years younger than him, my boss is 18 years older than his wife, and my other coworker’s fiance is 30 years older than her. Every couple is unique and beautiful, and I couldn’t say that one age gap was more ideal than the other.


My husband is 12 years older than me. Never has caused a problem. Twenty-odd years later, we’re just as happy as when we first got married.
There is no ideal age gap, IMO.


I knew about Colorado City… but there was an evacuation of young teen women from El Dorado this past weekend. Dunno which state though, just assumed AZ


I don’t think there is an ideal age across the board, just an ideal age per individual people. My husband is 18 years older than me. That kind of gap isn’t going to work for most people, but it’s worked for us for nearly 10 years. Everyone is different.


YEAH! I thought we were crazy weird with a 10 year gap… glad to know we’re not alone… and clearly not the extreme! :smiley:

God finds the perfect match for each of us! So cool! :thumbsup:


I’m glad we’re not alone, too! DH and I are almost exactly 11 years apart. I don’t know anyone else IRL that has that kind of age gap. It’s worked out wonderfully for us! God is so good to us!


Hi Anna,

My DH and I are 5 days apart! :thumbsup:.


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