Married persons and Viagra


#1

I am in my 50’s and have sexual problems. My doctor has given me Viagra but my wife feels that it is better to go without that to cheapen the act by using Viagra.
How does the church stand on products like this, within a marriage?


#2

[quote=mjo_70458]I am in my 50’s and have sexual problems. My doctor has given me Viagra but my wife feels that it is better to go without that to cheapen the act by using Viagra.
How does the church stand on products like this, within a marriage?
[/quote]

i am not aware of any negative stand by the church on a married person trying to do the married thing with the help of chemical…

but, hold on tight (bad pun), if i’m wrong, i am sure we will be informed shortly (oh, another bad word for this subject) :smiley:


#3

you guys have to realize that what to you is a “failure” in your masculinity, to you wife is a “failure” on her part that she can’t arouse you on her own. since both are getting older, saggier, fatter, slower, tireder, there is a lot to deal with when things slow down, as they do in the natural scheme of things. Viagra doesn’t deal with the underlying problem. work on intimacy issues outside of the bedroom, and use the times when things are not progressing in bed on your preferred time schedule to work on foreplay and simply physical touching that does not have to necessarily go anywhere. You may get a surprise.


#4

How does Viagra cheapen the act?

I think it is a wise man who goes to the doctor and gets help rather than let his marriage languish.

There are many occasions in which we, as human beings, need medicine to assist our bodies in doing their natural functions. Take a pregnant woman for example: She may have to take some sort of medicine while she is pregnant to ensure the health of her and her baby. Does this cheapen the act of motherhood? No way. In fact, people would say that she is doing the “right thing”, etc.

I think this is no different. Sometimes our bodies fail us and the wise person finds a way to work around this and do what is best for all involved–whether it is mother-and-child, or man-and-wife.


#5

Here is a short answer from Catholic Exchange :

What is Viagra?

As far as we know, the Church has not condemned the use of Viagra. Your question is interesting and occasions an opportunity to make an important distinction. Artificial contraception, as you must know, is the intentional prevention of conception or impregnation through the use of various devices, agents, drugs, sexual practices, or surgical procedures before, during, or after a voluntary act of intercourse. Viagra, on the other hand, is a drug that helps males to overcome a pathological condition preventing them from engaging in the conjugal act with their spouses.

Assisting vs. Opposing Nature

Is it wrong for a married man to be assisted by medical treatment to have sexual relations with his wife? Surely it cannot be. Scripture tells us that God, out of His infinite and powerful love, created man and woman for each other. He then said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it” (Genesis 1: 28). Here we see the creation and the plan of God for marriage. And in order that they would be able to fulfill that plan, God created them with a natural desire for each other. This desire is good and noble when it is satisfied in the way that the Creator intended. Sex is a beautiful and holy gift from God to a husband and wife because this is one of the means by which they can fulfill the two purposes and meanings of marriage - to be unitive (uniting the spouses in love) and to be procreative (to bear children, if and when it is God’s divine will). Let us not make the mistake, though, of placing all of the focus on sex. Sexual performance is not the end-all in marriage and really has little to do with the spiritual aspect of marriage.

Use of drugs such as Viagra to help overcome pathological conditions can certainly not be immoral. The difference between use of such drugs and contraceptives is that contraceptives do not help overcome a pathological condition. Being fertile is not a pathology. There is quite a difference. Viagra does not go against nature – it assists nature. Artificial contraception does not assist nature – it goes against nature.

While I agree with asquared somewhat, I would first ask a doctor and get all the facts. If it is an intimacy problem, do as asquared recommeded. If it is a legitimate medical problem, (Poor blood circulation to the region is what I understand the drug corrects.) Viagra would be legit. Athough know that I think of it-- aren’t there ways to increase circulation without drugs? Exercise? Napping on your back for a while with elevated legs? Massage?

Scott


#6

The church is okay with Viagra simply because it works as an aid for married couples to maintain a normal sex life. Nothing cheap about it.


#7

Mjo,

I feel the same way as your wife. All these Viagra, etc. commercials seem to be lustful. And I guess that’s why I feel the way I do. Women want to be loved not lusted after.

If you are young and have a serious medical problem like DM or spinal cord injury. I would be ok with these drugs.

But I know that many doctors give out Viagra like lollypops. I have a friend whose in his 70’s, with heart problems, lung problems, prostate problems. The urologist heard he was thinking of dating a woman and gave him free samples.

And I know men who are just experiencing normal aging and slowing down of this function. They feel “less than a man” because of the commercials and this attitude of doctors.

So do you really need the drugs? Or are you mainly interested in your own wants and desires?


#8

[quote=Mary’s Lamb]Mjo,

I feel the same way as your wife. All these Viagra, etc. commercials seem to be lustful. And I guess that’s why I feel the way I do. Women want to be loved not lusted after.

If you are young and have a serious medical problem like DM or spinal cord injury. I would be ok with these drugs.

But I know that many doctors give out Viagra like lollypops. I have a friend whose in his 70’s, with heart problems, lung problems, prostate problems. The urologist heard he was thinking of dating a woman and gave him free samples.

And I know men who are just experiencing normal aging and slowing down of this function. They feel “less than a man” because of the commercials and this attitude of doctors.

So do you really need the drugs? Or are you mainly interested in your own wants and desires?
[/quote]

There’s nothing wrong with wanting or desiring to have a normal sex life with your wife! Look, let’s put the commercials aside. There is a drug that can help men who experience these sorts of problems. The church is okay with it because it restores the normlalcy the couple deserve. The drug doesn’t make you lust after anything or anyone. A man still has the desire to have sex, but simply can’t due to equipment failure. This pill addresses the failure, not the desire.


#9

“All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be enslaved by anything. (1Cor 6:12)

The question arises: Would Viagra be helpful? Why is it being used? If it is being used to prolong a phase in life that isn’t meant to last forever, one wonders at the wisdom of employing it. Are we really intended to be as vigourous at, say, 60, as we were at 20? If so, then that is probably the only area of human physiology so configured.

Of course, if what could be taken to be normal and expected is impaired, then certainly assistance is not at all inappropriate. But the question of whether or not that is the aim and intention is a pertinent one.

Shortly after Viagra came out, a TV quiz show (I forget which one) asked what married women thought of their mates using it. The overwhelming answer was, “I wish they wouldn’t bother.” Other surveys later gave similar results. And that brings up a second question: Are both parties of one accord concerning its use? It seems to me that if he is, and she isn’t, the message he sends is, “I’m on drugs and I want you,” which after (presumably) many years of marriage is not exactly a flattering one. There’s more to intimacy than sexual intercourse, and after many years together, one would hope it is still not limited to that.

I don’t hesitate to pop a pill to make the pain go away when my arthritis kicks up. But it would not appear appropriate to treat Viagra the same way. And its use would seem to be a decision to be made by a couple, not just the aging male.

Blessings,

Gerry


#10

Well it seems that the original poster’s wife is making a unilateral decision of her own when she says that she doesn’t want him to take it.

Plus, he said he was having “sexual problems” so I doubt that the problem is that he wants to be 20 again. He is only in his 50’s now, so having sex with his wife is still something that is rightly on his mind and his agenda.

Besides that, is there an age when sex between man and wife becomes a non-issue? I hope not! I think the two people must work together to find a system that addresses both of their needs within marriage.

I doubt that anyone would support a man saying, “I have spent the last 30 years of my life spending quality time with her and I’m not doing it anymore.”

I hope they are able to reach a resolution about this. There are so many ways to have intimacy in a marriage and sex is such a wonderful way to do it. God knows what He’s doing, doesn’t he!


#11

I am a relative youngster as a male…but have always thought that it will be nice to get to a stage when “the urge” isn’t so much a part of life…I agree with Cephalus in Plato’s Republic (Book I), that it will be nice to be rid of such “mad masters.” Thus I’ve always wondered why anyone would want to stir up the passions when they have naturally receded into the background.

Am I wrong here? Or maybe I misunderstand Viagra. Doesn’t it increase the urge?


#12

[quote=FelixBlue]I am a relative youngster as a male…but have always thought that it will be nice to get to a stage when “the urge” isn’t so much a part of life…I agree with Cephalus in Plato’s Republic (Book I), that it will be nice to be rid of such “mad masters.” Thus I’ve always wondered why anyone would want to stir up the passions when they have naturally receded into the background.

Am I wrong here? Or maybe I misunderstand Viagra. Doesn’t it increase the urge?
[/quote]

increases more than the urge… a little over the top right… :smiley:

sorry, i couldn’t resist… :eek:


#13

[quote=FelixBlue]I am a relative youngster as a male…but have always thought that it will be nice to get to a stage when “the urge” isn’t so much a part of life…I agree with Cephalus in Plato’s Republic (Book I), that it will be nice to be rid of such “mad masters.” Thus I’ve always wondered why anyone would want to stir up the passions when they have naturally receded into the background.

Am I wrong here? Or maybe I misunderstand Viagra. Doesn’t it increase the urge?
[/quote]

Below is a quote from familydoctor.org.

"Follow your doctor’s instructions. Usually, a man takes 1 tablet 1 hour before he plans to have sex. You should not take more than 1 tablet in 24 hours. The medicine comes in tablets of 25 mg, 50 mg and 100 mg. Most patients start with 50 mg.

Even if you take sildenafil, you still need physical and mental stimulation and desire to have an erection. If your first dose of Viagra doesn’t help, call your doctor. Your doctor may want to change your tablet strength."

Viagra does not cause an increase in sex drive. It simply aids with equipment failure. Most men who suffer from this problem still have a sex drive. Viagra is simply a fix for the physical problem. You people have been watching to much television!


#14

There are medical issues that foreplay just cannot overcome. The most common one is diabetes. Diabetes can damage the nerves and viagra Can help with this issue. Impotence can also be a warning of other problems. Cardiac problems can be diagnosed by having a checkup, since impotence is an early sympton of heart disease. Therefore this is not a matter to ignore but have the cause investigated and appropriate actions taken


#15

[quote=RichT]Below is a quote from familydoctor.org.

"Follow your doctor’s instructions. Usually, a man takes 1 tablet 1 hour before he plans to have sex. You should not take more than 1 tablet in 24 hours. The medicine comes in tablets of 25 mg, 50 mg and 100 mg. Most patients start with 50 mg.

Even if you take sildenafil, you still need physical and mental stimulation and desire to have an erection. If your first dose of Viagra doesn’t help, call your doctor. Your doctor may want to change your tablet strength."

Viagra does not cause an increase in sex drive. It simply aids with equipment failure. Most men who suffer from this problem still have a sex drive. Viagra is simply a fix for the physical problem. You people have been watching to much television!
[/quote]

Thanks for the clarification…yes the commercials, especially the one where the guy get horns in the shape of V for Viagra seem to claim a stronger sex drive.


#16

To answer your question correctely. The Late Holy Father JOhn Paul II was all for it. He was very happy that it was discovered.

Antrim


#17

Antrim,

  1. Do realize this thread is 4 years old and that the person who started it did not post ever again?

  2. if you are going to say that someone like J.P 2 said something you should really provide some evidence.


#18

I beleive it was broadcast on the news.

Antrim


#19

Men are bombarded daily with highly charged images of beautiful, highly made up, physically fit, women on television, magazines and movies. Good men must wear blinders if he is to avoid this assault. The mind, which controls the male sexual machinery of even the good man gets convinced that his beloved bride of 40, 50, 60, 70 plus years of age no longer appears sexually attractive. This occurs without us even knowing it.

Ahhhh… never fear! The pharmaceutical industry is here! $$$

There is a natural slowing down of the sexual fires as the WAY of expressing our love for each other shifts from the hot, passionate, hormone driven, hardbodied youthful sex to a deeper, intellectual, emotional, self-sacrificing, (not necessarily always sexual) prayerful, intimate communion with one another. Both should be present at the outset of marriage, with shifting emphasis toward the latter as the marriage matures.

This disgusting sex saturated society has convinced us that if we aren’t doing it like rabbits until we are 80 years old there is something wrong with us.

It would be interesting to see what would happen if these men who are using Viagra were to avoid all sexually charged images for a while. Chances are their bride will once again spark the old sexual machinery of most men into action, provided she do her part.

Ladies can help too by taking good care of themselves by watching their weight, putting on a little makeup once in a while, keeping themselves clean and well groomed. Many of you spent hours making yourselves look nice when you were dating then stopped after the kids came along and the duties of family life took over.

Those images in the media cannot possibly compete with the average, cheerful, confident well groomed 50 year old housewife who takes decent care of herself because you gals are real and the images are not. Nothing on the face of God’s creation is more beautiful to the eye. Don’t underestimate yourselves ladies. This isn’t about pride and lust, it’s about passionate, powerful, romantic physical intimacy within sacramental marriage the way God intended.

Sure, after 25 years of marriage my wife has put on a little weight, and there are a few gray hairs (I caused them) and sags here and there. That’s nature! But when I see her made all made up and dressed nice, I see her natural physical beauty and my pulse starts to quicken.

Isn’t it curious that revenue from Viagra type medications have skyrocketed at the same time porn consumption has exploded in this country? But as I said earlier, even good men who DON’T look at that garbage are assaulted daily with immodest imagery that can compete with …“spousal arousal”

Granted, some men really do have a physical problem. My guess is that most do not. Guard your eyes like a mother hawk for a while and forget the Viagra. Give it a few weeks, take your wife out on a “date”,bring her home, put on a little music, maybe a bottle of wine and see what happens.

:thumbsup:


#20

I hate the Viagra commercials too. Television is more disgusting now that ever. This culture is completely obsessed with sex, yet never before has there been more sexual dysfuncion. Sex is supposed to express love, be extremely enjoyable and shared only within marriage.

But really now… If a dedicated, faithful, loving husband gets aroused by the sight of his wife’s naked beauty, is he lusting?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news here ladies, but it isn’t your spinach souffle that gets his motor running.

Adding a little guilt to his sexual arousal is the *perfect *recipe for erectile dysfunction. Depending on his personality, it might set him up for an extramarital affair or even a porn addiction. Satan would really love that!

If this is incorrect, someone please enlighten me!

:wink:


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