Married under the government but not Catholic church

Apology if this is a long read but I need some help with this. I’m a Catholic and my husband isn’t any religion. We have been together for 7 years. We never got married in the Catholic church but by law (under the government) is where we both had officiated our marriage. The real reason we had got married was because I was carrying our first child and traditionally we must be married before child is born. Prior to being married we were together for 3 years however, adultery took place on both ends and mentally we were both not in a good place. I found out I was pregnant and fast forward to my pregnancy, giving birth, we baptized our child in the Catholic church. My parents who are full on Catholic believes my husband and I should get a blessing in the Catholic church so we can receive the eucharist. The problem is my husband doesn’t want to become Catholic because adultery took place with a person who was catholic and it has put him off my faith for Catholic (i dont blame him nor do I force him). Lately I feel like my faith has been tested and constant argument about being a Catholic. What options do I have when I want to receive the body and blood of Jesus and my husband doesnt want to?

Your husband doesn’t have to become Catholic for your marriage to be recognized by the church. Contact your priest and they can help you determine what steps are needed.

That says, are the arguments about you practicing your faith or about asking him to convert? If it’s about you practicing your faith, that’s a big concern that you’ll want to work through first.


You baptized your child in the Catholic Church so you promised to raise your child in the Catholic Faith. That means the child should go to Mass regularly, receive the Sacraments at the proper ages and continue to receive the Sacraments regularly through life. Your being married in the Catholic Church would also set the right example for your child. Speak with your Priest asap. He will help you work all of this out. Even if your husband isn’t for it still speak with your Priest.


Thanks for that I’ll definitely have a talk to the priest. Thanks so much.

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That isn’t a problem. There is no requirement that your husband become a Catholic for you to marry in the church.

Make an appointment to talk to your pastor about convalidation.


This is the exact kind of answer I was looking for and never heard of Convalidation until now. I appreciate this. Thank you

Hi. There is a good remedy for you. Your husband doesn’t have to become a Catholic for you to have your marriage blessed. I was a Protestant when my husband I married in Las Vegas. Later I decided to become a Catholic. So in RCIA, they told me that I needed to have my marriage convalidated (blessed) by the Catholic Church. So we met with a priest, and we had to fill out some papers where we agreed to raise our kids as Catholics (we were in our 50s – lol) and also saying that my hubby would not forbid me from attending mass. Then we had a couple more meetings with the priest and attended a one day seminar on Catholic marriage. Then we were remarried in the Catholic Church.

My husband did not have to convert. Nine years after I was received into the Catholic Church, my hubby converted.

Try talking to a priest about having your marriage convalidated/blessed. You will be pleasantly surprised.

I will pray for you!

I’m sorry, Julie, but unless either one of you had been baptized as Catholics (or Orthodox) as children – and then raised as non-Catholics-- this information is completely wrong, and I’m sorry that whoever is in charge of RCIA would tell you this and that the priest did not correct it.

Non-Catholics marry validly when they marry civilly. The Church does not, and in fact cannot, convalidate a marriage that is already valid.

In the original poster’s case, her marriage needs convalidation because she is a Catholic who married outside the church. If neither she nor her husband were Catholics, there would be nothing to convalidate. Her marriage would already be valid.

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I guess I should have mentioned that my husband and I were both baptized as children in Protestant denominations according to the Trinitarian formula. The Catholic Church did not want to re-baptize us because the Trinitarian baptism fulfilled the requirement for entering the Catholic Church. If the woman I wrote to was baptized as a Catholic and her husband as a Protestant, I would think that they could convalidate their marriage? Thoughts?

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