Marry in Church with child born out of wedlock?


#1

I have a Catholic friend who was engaged and had her wedding all planned years ago.
During the engagement, she became pregnant. When she was six months pregnant, the fiancé/father canceled the engagement and wedding.
She has never married, but has raised her son mostly alone.

Q: Is there any way she can get married in the Catholic Church?


#2

Yes.

Having a child already is not an impediment to marriage.


#3

It’s a pity many people think this way - and many people do - that it’s a scandal to get married while you’re pregnant. And it is. But it’s a bigger one not to get married at all when you’d been planning to because you’ve had a child with the husband-to-be.


#4

Couples who are expecting a baby undergo extra scrutiny during marriage preparation to ensure that neither of them perceive the pregnancy as an urgent situation or a requirement for them to hurry into marriage. Couples who perceive pressure to marry, whether it comes from a pregnant fiancée, from the parents or friends, or some other external or internal source, are prime candidates for defect of consent and therefore a divorce and/or declaration of nullity down the road. So oftentimes the suggestion comes out to be “have the baby first, and if you’re still interested in being married to each other when the pressure is off, come back and see us then.”


#5

Forty, fifty years ago, families would have been appalled in what happened today unfortunately it is very common. She was never married therefore from a practical point of view, it saves her alot of paper work and stress. So the answer is yes. I only hope the man she marries will adopt her son as his own and they will happily ever after.


#6

Forty or fifty years ago, she would have hid it until the Sunday after the wedding. Then would have given birth to a fully developed “premature” baby.

Nowadays, woman don’t hid it.


#7

But she didn’t not get married because she had a child with the father.
So I don’t understand your comment.


#8

Thank you.


#9

In my grandmothers’s day (a hunderd and ten years ago) it was know as a ‘seven month’ baby. :eek: :smiley: :thumbsup:


#10

… why didn’t she, then?


#11

According to the OP, the fiance/father cancelled the wedding.


#12

I gathered that. But I am asking the OP, on what grounds, if I may ask?


#13

In my day it was known as an ‘unusually large premature baby’. :smiley:


#14

On what grounds?? On the grounds that he didn’t want to get married and was a jerk?


#15

Of course she can and should! Just because she had a child out of wedlock does not bar her from saying her vows in God’s house!!

I wish people would look at the good in others and not judge their mistakes. We ALL make them, some of us just have proof. My sister was a teen mom, and tongues wagged. And, she is a great person and the best mom. She was married in church with her son in the wedding. Her husband adopted him. And, she has been happily married for 32 years! Your friend should get married in church when she is ready to be married.


#16

Well, that was pretty much a given fact regardless.

I guess it’s not any of my business, really.


closed #17

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