Marry or move in together? Brain knows the difference


#1

foxnews.com/health/2014/02/17/marry-or-move-in-together-brain-knows-difference/?intcmp=obnetwork

Interesting article about how the brain perceives the difference between being married and co-habitation.


#2

That is interesting, thanks. It should also be noted that sexual activity can cause addictions to the source of the sexual stimulus and blind a person into an attachment to someone they would otherwise not accept attachment.


#3

I found it interesting that people that considered themselves married, reacted like they were married.

The findings revealed that parts of the brain are less reactive to stress when someone is with a person they consider themselves married to.


#4

I, for one, lived with my ex-husband before our marriage and when we got married I saw a big difference in how I reacted. It was something I can remember feeling about this, 34 years later.


#5

Another good reason to keep chaste before marriage–so that we don’t form inordinate attachments. :yup:

Our priest spoke about the differences between living together and marriage. Unknowingly, he echoed the findings in the article. People know there is a difference so our hearts, minds and souls cannot be fooled by telling ourselves that it’s the same thing.


#6

Myself and my husband lived together for over a year before we married and we had a child together. Not to mention a shared bank account. Between living together, sharing a child, and sharing a bank account I thought we felt just about as bound together as two people could feel. Yet I, too, noticed a big difference in how we both perceived our lives and how we reacted after we married.

Congratulations on 34 years of marriage, by the way. I’m only 11 years in and sometimes I feel like a total marriage novice, lol. I always want to pick the brains of people married 20 or 30 years because I’m so sure you all have wisdom, tips, and tricks to share. :wink:


#7

Naturally, the brain knows the difference. Marriage implies a commitment, a bond, a deep and heartfelt trust of each other that simple co-habitation can and will never provide.

People can claim that they’re in love all that they want, but with couples who are simply cohabiting, there’s always going to be that little part of themselves that knows that, deep down, there’s a part of the other person that says “I do not love you enough to truly bind myself with you. I do not trust you enough to be that vulnerable. I refuse to give up this part of myself, and so will never share myself completely with you. This part of me is mine, my own, and you can never have it.”

I work with a gal who lives with a guy she’s not married to; they refuse to get married if gay folks in my state (Texas) can’t legally do so as well (which is grade-A idiocy for another thread).

She calls him her “man-friend.”

“Man-friend.” As a man, I don’t think I can think of anything quite so subtly insulting as a (presumably intimate) woman who only trusts me enough to call me a “man-friend.”

What a joke.


#8

As long you don’t trust eachother , there can’t be a relation or even frienship !!


#9

It could be worse. My unmarried co-habitating friend calls hers “manpanion”.


#10

…I think there are a lot of guys out there that don’t respect themselves very much. I know that I am worthy to one day be called “husband”, because I have a lot of love to give to a family.


#11

My husband and I also lived together before we were married. We didn’t have a child, but we shared everything. We had a joint account, house payments, housework, everything.

When we married, I have to be honest, not much changed. :shrug:

Other than having to go to Social Security Admin, to change my name, and to do the same thing everywhere else, I can’t think of anything else that changed. Oh, and I had a ring on my finger.

We have now been married for 22 years.


#12

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