Marrying a non-catholic


#1

I have been a catholic all my life, and recently became engaged to a non-catholic. My fiance has not been raised as a member of any religion, and has two children out of wedlock. We plan on having more children together, and want to be a catholic family. I really need to know where to go from here? Do my fiance and her children need to become catholics before we can marry? How do we go about this, and how long does it take. Any information would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.


#2

I would suggest you talk to your parish priest about all this. He will want to help you not talk you out of getting married. Is your fiancée interested in becoming Catholic? Does she have any understanding of what becoming a Catholic entails?


#3

The first thing to do is make an appointment with a priest or deacon to begin the marriage preparation process as established by your diocese.

Your fiance does not have to become Catholic before you can be married. Your priest/deacon can guide you through everything.

If she and her children want to become Catholics, then they need to contact the RCIA/RCIC program director for information on the process.


#4

It generally takes 6 months to get married, from the time you first visit your priest to the wedding ceremony. (This is assuming their are no previous marriages that require annulments and/or dissolution.)

If your fiance is interested in joining the Church, she should join the next RCIA class, which should result in her joining the Catholic Church next Easter Vigil (2007).


#5

First of all … WELCOME to the forum. You are 3 for 3 on the answer, Talk to your priest first.

There should not be a porblem since she was not married before. How does she and the children feel about converting?


#6

Most definitely talk to your Parish Priest first, he will help you and your fiancee prepare for your Marriage. You may be directed by him to one of the Permanent Deacons for your Marriage prep. and if so, this Deacon will know what you need to do.

My prayers for the both of you and for the children you will be making your own in this process!

Brenda


#7

I married a non-catholic. We had to do some counciling with the priest and also take a pre-cana class. My husband still grumbles lovingly about it 5 years later.

Our pre-cana class was awesome. There were alot of other couples there. Most of them were younger than us. We were split into groups (with out spouses) and had to listen to older married couples lecture about sex and children and how to be a good spouse. Stuff like that. When it was over, we all gathered in the chapel and had mass and were given a candle that was lit and then we carried it down the hall really quietly into a big dark room. When the raised the lights a bit, there were a ton of tables decked out with candles and it was beautiful, They served us a nice little dinner and played romantic music. Some of the older couples were even dancing. They also gave us all a peace lily.


#8

[quote=heinzboz]I have Do my fiance and her children need to become catholics before we can marry? How do we go about this, and how long does it take. .
[/quote]

she should become Catholic only if and when she becomes convinced in her heart and intellect that that Catholic Church holds and teaches the fullness of Truth. Getting married to a Catholic is not, by itself, a good enough reason to convert. If you are both otherwise free to marry, you as the Catholic partner need a dispensation to marry a non-Catholic. See your pastor at least 6 months before the projected wedding date. You will also need marriage preparation classes.

she might very well benefit from joining an RCIA class to learn more about the faith, without any commitment to receive the sacraments. She will discern with her catechists, and the pastor, when and if she is ready to proceed. She should in any case learn enough to know what you are promising, and what marriage means in the Catholic Church.


#9

Wow, this is so great. Thanks to everyone for all of the information. This whole thing doesn’t seem as complicated now after you all have shed some light on it. We will defenitely go talk to my Parish Preist first, and then go from there. Thanks again in giving us the direction to head in, and answering our questions.


#10

Not to put a damper but just be sure and find out how “non-catholic” she is. I married a “non-catholic” and later she made it clear that she is an anti-catholic. Oh well, at least our daughter knows she’s Catholic.

MIght i recommend life giving love by Kimberly k. Hahn. Great book an really sheds light, in simple terms, of what a sacramental marriage is.


#11

[quote=heinzboz]I have been a catholic all my life, and recently became engaged to a non-catholic. My fiance has not been raised as a member of any religion, and has two children out of wedlock. We plan on having more children together, and want to be a catholic family. I really need to know where to go from here? Do my fiance and her children need to become catholics before we can marry? How do we go about this, and how long does it take. Any information would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
[/quote]

They do not need to become Catholic. I think you may need to get a dispensation from the bishop to marry her, and you will have to promise to do your best to raise the children you have with her Catholic.

Otherwise there shouldn’t be a problem


#12

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