I find this the most moving part of the Mass personally whilst I am in my own process of discernment and inquiry. I really do not feel worthy for the Lord to enter into my life, into my own ‘reality’ as there is a lot of my life that is contrary to Jesus’s and the Church’s teachings, and so I really don’t feel worthy for God to come to me… and yet there is part of me that is even afraid of the idea of my soul being healed. I do believe that this discernment process is a slow slow healing of my soul, but I do feel really confused too, its not a comforting or happy process, it often makes me feel sad and out of balance.
How do you personally connect with these words in the Mass? Has the meaning changed for you over time?
Immediately following those words, we receive the Eucharist. These words prepare me for receiving the Eucharist which is the summit of Mass. When we say ’ that you should enter under our roof’ Catholics are referring specifically to the Eucharist as we believe it is the Body and Blood of Christ that we are receiving, therefore he is entering our ‘under our roof’ so to speak. We must Confess prior to receiving the Eucharist, which is a form of ‘sweeping out the dirt’ so our soul is ready to receive our Lord ‘under our roof’.
The Eucharist is what sustains us as we wander in the ‘wilderness’ similarly the Israelites had Manna to sustain them during their 40years in the wilderness.
It is normal to feel unworthy and confused, I feel that still today to an extent. The Saints are famous for proclaiming their unworthiness although I know they were less confused and unsure than you or I, the Saints faith was solid. Look at Mary who felt unworthy that she had been chosen for the task.
The Sacraments are what make our (Catholics) soul ready to receive Christ in the Eucharist.
I promise you that if you do RCIA, get Baptised and make your first Confession and Eucharist, the burden will be lifted, you will feel less confused and less sad. I emphasise the word 'less’ because the human soul will always be restless or sad because it is missing Christ. People try to fill that spiritual emptiness with cars, toys, drugs, alcohol etc, these* things* are temporary, whereas the spiritual and emotional fulfilment I get from Christ is eternal and nothing or no-one on earth comes close.
RCIA takes some time, a year or so depending on the history of the individual, this is also a time for discernment. I encourage you to contact your local parish and do the RCIA course, it is not binding, it is a journey of discovery, if during the course you do not want to go on that is fine.
These sad feelings you are having at Mass especially when you hear the highlighted verse above is the Holy Spirit calling you to the Eucharist. Let the Holy Spirit do it’s work. Your spiritual emptiness is being slowly filled up.
Good luck on your path