A priest in my school generously offered to say Mass outside the usual Mass times. It is our exam week and so I was really grateful for that. We had Mass in the priests’ quarters instead of the chapel. That was okay because there were so few of attending anyway.
But then the way he said the Mass really bothered me. For one, we sat down the entire time instead of standing and kneeling when appropriate. I admit that I sat down during the Gospel and most of the Mass. But I knelt during Consecration and Holy Communion. I was the only one who did it and so I felt really uncomfortable. But I felt that it would be a huge insult to Jesus if I didn’t show the proper reverence during these most solemn parts of the Mass. I tried my best to focus though.
Secondly, during Holy Communion, he did not distribute the Host and Chalice to us. Nor did he say “Body of Christ” or “Blood of Christ.” Instead he asked us to pass around the ciborium of Hosts and and chalice. I felt uncomfortable and unworthy to hold the chalice of Christ’s Blood in my hands. And when I received the Host, I just said “Body of Christ” to myself because Father did not do it. Instead, he was just sitting on his seat during Holy Communion. I wish I was a Communion minister than I wouldn’t have been as guilty maybe…
I was really grateful to Jesus for the chance to be with Him in Holy Communion on a day I probably couldn’t attend Mass. And He gave me His peace so I know He still generously bestowed His graces upon me. But I also felt guilty about the abuses during the short Mass. Even though they weren’t entirely my fault.
Did I commit a sin in participating in this? What do I do? What happens next time? I was grateful for the chance to receive Holy Communion! But the way father celebrated Mass was really so wrong! This is the second time I went to a sit-down Mass with him. But the last time, two other people also knelt with me. And father did say “Body of Christ” when we went to the altar to receive “Holy Communion.”
I guess I just want some advice…What should I do? Should I confess this? What can I do to keep this from happening again?