Massage oils/effects lubticants/toys in marriage bed

are married couples allowed to use things like warning oils, sensitizing lubricants and whatnot in bed?

There is nothing wrong with using massage oils or lubricants during foreplay. In fact, most women that are breastfeeding or menopausal need extra lubrication to avoid sex being painful (hormones and such), and some women just need that extra lubrication for it not to be painful. I don’t see how anyone would think that’s sinful. I’ll leave the “toy” part of the question for someone else to answer…

Edit: the only concern I could possibly see on the moral part about the oils would be the source of them. If you are purchasing them from a source that sells porn, that would be an issue. Here’s a source for personal care lubricants from a Christian herbalist:

I don’t believe there is sin in that however i think its kind of strange.Its seems to me they are trying to get more out of sex.tthat they aren’t satisfied enough and seeking new stimulants.Why do they think they have to turn to these and thaat they will even work?

Women often need extra lubrication so things are not painful.

I can think of a couple ways “toy” could become a problem, especially if they are used in a demeaning way, however, oils and lubricants are fine. (And sometimes needed.) Don’t buy them from a porn shop though, because then you are supporting something that is sinful.

Never thought of that.Thanks.Im a single man.

well I was more specifically speaking of ones made to enhance arousal, like ones that warmed or cooled, etc

Not patronizing a porn shop, sure, but what’s wrong with getting say, KY jelly from Walmart?

There’s nothing wrong with buying KY from your local discount store or drug store/pharmacy

The link I posted has products created for women with herbs that have healing properties for delicate tissues and hormonal balances. I can’t imagine that Wally World carries things like that and I wanted women to be aware they could purchase specialty massage oils/ personal lubricants from a source other than a trashy lingerie shop, since I don’t think KY even creates such specialized items. That link was just one source that I’m aware of. I would imagine that there are many sources out there…health food stores probably have something similar in their personal care aisle, too.

Need someone’s searching skills here…There is an old post that talks about the various lubricants. Don’t have the link readily available. Vaseline, and I thought KY brands were not considered “safe” as they tend to have spermicidal or damaging effects. There are more natural (non-impacting) lubricants available. (Yes, it seems like an odd thing to bring up, but hey, just almost passing it along.)

Now, toys… Does “toys” include the back massager you pick up at the local pharmacy? Well, if massage is part of the process, and it helps, I don’t see a problem with that toy. When the toy is meant as a substitute for the spouse or “enhancement”, then there is likely a problem. In other words, we are called to help the spouse “get there” and it may take some work, technique and experimentation to do so using our bodies. But that is what God gave us. Our wonderful and beautiful bodies. The danger with things is that the thing can become the focus instead of the person that should be the focus of the activity.

Okay, what I was commenting on was that it was okay to purchase something from a mass discount retailer and that you didn’t have to purchase things from a “Christian” source (although I did post a link to one such source). Vaseline should not be used as it is not water soluble and will seriously unbalance the ph of the vagina and likely cause vaginal tissue inflammation/irritation. Perhaps that’s what you meant about having a “spermicidal effect”, since the ph plays a big role in being hospitable or inhospitable to sperm.

Probably, something like that.

I did find this with a google search.

There are multiple studies showing that lubricants such as Astroglide and Replens(?) will kill 100% of sperm within 60 minutes. KY does not kill them but lowers the sperm’s motility by a significant percentage. What good are the little guys if they won’t do their job? The University of CT, Univ of TX SW and others all state that using even water based lubricants can seriously interfere with fertility. I have not tried it myself but some women recommend one lubricant that actually increases the chances of conception. It’s called Pre-Seed. I may order some if I get another neg test this month and I’ll let you all know if it works the way it claims. Good luck to you all…


Not sinful unless is demeaning to self or partner.

(emphasis mine)

pats Peanut lovingly

Could have fooled me. :o

Regardless of morality, the ones that cause sensation kinda press my squick button. I’ve heard one too many horror stories about nasty reactions to the stuff. I guess…having an internal reproductive system makes me more eeked out by that sort of thing. I’ve never even felt curious about them.

Not sinful unless affecting sperm motility is your intent. I need to use a silicone based lubricant every time. I purchased a sperm friendly water based one but it dries up way too quickly and is not substantial at all.

Um… YES !!!

Another reason not to use petroleum jelly as a lubricant is it causes candida albicans, or a vaginal yeast infections.

Mutiple Googles links cliam KY DOES NOT contain spermicides. A simple Google seach of “KY Spermicide” will verify this.

No need to spread misinformation here.

Um… over the counter lubricants have not injured my fertility one little bit! They were water based and not spermicidal, used every time, and I am on my second pregnancy.

I corrected the statement in a later post of which I did reference a google search as you will see by reading further. My haste may have have implied something that was not true as memory is not always highly reliable.

My point was that I was sure there was a negative associated with KY. Maybe not a big deal for most people but KY isn’t without potential impact to the process. Now, it doesn’t prevent conception. Not meant to imply that at all.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit