Masturbation addiction/ absolution


#1

Hello, I am new to Catholic Answers. I am 16 and am a practicing catholic in every sense of the phrase. But I have an issue. When I was 14 I began to masturbate. It was before I knew it was a mortal sin. By the time I realized it was a grave sin I was already horribly addicted. I’ve since been trying to stop. My spiritual life has taken a major hit. I used to be unquestionably faithful to God. Now I find my self constantly doubting Him (which is sinful in itself!)

Regardless, this being advent I went to receive reconciliation for my many heinous sins. This vein almost the 6th time since my addiction started. I confessed my sins hoping this time is be able to quit. Now, 6 days later, I am being consumed by unclean desires to masturbate. I have finals coming up and I literally can’t focus. I wanted to at least try to stop for the duration of Advent. However I feel like that isn’t going to happen.

To complicate the story, I’ve tested positive for having Asperger’s syndrome on multiple unofficial screenings. I’ve thought that I’ve had it for years but have never been “officially” tested. I’m afraid to ask my parents because they will be weird about it. Also, I’ve been professionally diagnosed with anxiety. I don’t want you to get the idea that I am mentally challenged. I go to a normal school, I act normal(though I am extremely introverted and awkward), my grades are normal, I can drive, and whatnot. But I think it definitely has an affect on me not being able to quit. I am not compelled to do it in public or anything like that but when I’m at home I will sometimes stop what I’m doing and go masturbate.

Any way, I don’t know how to quit. I don’t want to sin, I don’t want to displease God. I can’t seem to stop. If I could just turn off my desire I would. It is ruining my life. I know that for a sin to be mortal you have to be in full consent. I don’t know if I am in full consent. I really don’t want to do it but when it comes right down to it I do feel like I “choose” to do it. Even though I don’t really think it was fully my choice. I really don’t know. I feel like my mental “imbalance” if you will I’d somewhat at fault. However since it is not official I don’t feel like I can attribute it to it without feeling guilty.

My only other thing is that should I manage to abstain for a great period of time, I feel like I would do something far worse to satisfy my addiction. I don’t know what to do. My next chance of receiving absolution isn’t until lent and should God forbid, some freak accident occur, I don’t want to die out of favor with God.

Here is the think. I don’t want to go to confession every day so I can end up failing. I feel like that is just disrespectful to God. However I hate the idea of the possibility of not being able to spend eternity with God.

My friends say how they can stop when they want. (They all think it is just okay to masturbate. Which makes me wonder if they will all go to hell. They know its wrong… Anyway) I can’t stop. If I could I would really. If I could just go home and never do it again I would.

I’m at a real loss. Any feedback will be appreciated. Growing up in such a secular world is so hard.


#2

First thing… stop being Obsessed with you Faults…
just be yourself and enjoy being alive… there are far more important issues in life
to worry yourself about …


#3

You are right to try and stop. This is something that gets worse and more ingrained as time goes on. Just don’t beat yourself up when you fall. Pick yourself up and start again.


#4

At age 16, don’t be too concern over it. Mortal Sin? Review the 10 Commandments. If none of these commandments are broken by you, …you are OK…
vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/command.htm

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ten_Commandments

Unfortunately by having a body, especially a male, there are some things that cannot be help…”Poor old body”…Or “young body”…

Just do not have lust and imagination. Think of it as a need of the body and nothing more.

As you get older, you will become more displined in this matter.


#5

Poor boy, do not despair. God’s grace is bigger than any sin we can commit. I’m not even sure if you commit any sin in masturbation. You must have full consent of your will to deliberately sin and knowing how a 16 year old body works, you simply cannot have full consent of your will. Don’t drive yourself crazy over this very private matter. God mad you and knows you and your heart better than you do. He knows you mean no harm in this release. As you grow older, into your 20’s it will be much more controllable. Even then you body will perform some needed releases at night known as wet dreams. God knows all this is going on with your torrid hormones. If you were married and were masturbating rather than performing your husbandly duties towards your wife, you would be depriving her of the companionship she rightly expects in marriage. That addition of masturbation could be a problem. Seek out a confessor. Listen to him console you as he explains how and when and at what age and at what level of addiction you might be committing a sin. Doesn’t matter how many times you sin, God forgives every time. He forgives far greater than this, if it is even a sin that you commit. Seek out a confessor. You will be greatly comforted. I will pray for you. Let this get behind you and get on with your young life.


#6

I’m afraid that masturbation is always mortally sinful, even when we don’t imagine or lust. Though severe addiction can slightly reduce culpability, it is very difficult to distinguish when this condition applies, so it’s better to just presume that one has sinned mortally.

It’s a sin in general because masturbation reduces sex into something purely self-gratifiying. The Church teaches that sex is meant to be a union of a man and a woman who give themselves to each other completely in the Sacrament of Marriage and are open to life through sex.

To the OP: Don’t despair. With God, we can do all things. Pray actively and constantly, whenever you are tempted. Say a quick prayer, such as the Jesus Prayer, whenever you catch yourself feeling lustful. Consistent attendance of Adoration, if possible, can also be a great help. This is something I struggle with very much as well, and I have found that we need to be constantly watchful and careful to avoid the occasions of sin; that is, the things which you know could lead you to sin. Be strong, my brother, and trust in God!

Some links that may help as well:
m.wikihow.com/Stop-a-Masturbation-Addiction
masturbationaddiction.net
courageman1.blogspot.com/2007/07/overcoming-addiction-to-masturbation.html?m=1
catholic.com/video/overcoming-pornography-addiction


#7

well, first have you tried those masturbation addict groups at least on the net, there you might find good answers.

second: God loves you with your flaws, it does not means you should stop trying to be better, it means that God understands your weakness and strenghts so don’t despair.

about the dying is mortal sin state, remember that God is not waiting for a chance to send us to Hell, if He were we would pretty much die after a mortal sin. just do your best to get to confession and repent of your sins, and have faith in God as a loving father, not someone putting up traps to send us to Hell.

now you said something important, when you are in your home alone, then try to be more active, a job, friends, sports, some Church activities you know stuff that helps you grow in your faith and as a human being could help you to not be alone all the time, also if you can go outside for a walk when you feel the urge.


#8

Kingsolomont - rather than focus on the thing you do wrong, and fret about it, instead seek to get activities into your life that fill you with the ‘positive’. It is hugely valuable to have a good group of mixed (guys & girls) friends, fun and social activities, and so on. Be around others. See the good in other people and the world around you.


#9

“I’m afraid that masturbation is always mortally sinful”

Actually, the Bible is quiet on this subject. Old and New Testaments.

And if masturbation is a mortal sin, it would be in the 10 Commandments. And plastered all over the Bible as a mortal sin and have ceremonies to purge and correct this sin.

If anything, people associate masturbation with guilt…But, in the end, a benign event that one out grows…


#10

What are your views on the treatment given to the subject in the Catechism?


#11

“What are your views on the treatment given to the subject in the Catechism?”

I read Canon Law. And I read the Bible…And at times, they are at odds. In that case, the Bible comes first.
vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/_INDEX.HTM

More specifically, this…
vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/ccc_toc.htm

I had Catechism in 1980. I never saw it in literature or was it discussed. It may have been mentioned by the Nun at the time…But, for me, it was not a major point or subject…

This statement. Who ever wrote this did not realize the involuntary responses of a human male. A biological thing. And did not realize that the Bible is totally silent on masturbation…

2352 : By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. "Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action."138 “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.

vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s2c2a6.htm

Masturbation is not an on/off switch! Unless one can walk around with an erection all day. Partial to full…

And as teenagers, they response is strong. But, thank goodness, this benign event slows down and eventually and totally controlled. Not necessary anymore…

Masturbation is exercise for the prostate gland. Increases blood flow to that part of the body. Prevents diseases down the road.

So, it is not about lust, or Adultery of the Heart. If done willfully, then masturbation is a Sin….

I hope this clears everything up and put to rest!


#12

First, remove the occasions of sin. Today, this is largely the internet. Catholic Answers has recommended Covenant Eyes. I also use Qustodio, but without possession of the password. It’s pretty awesome.

Second, fill your time. Build something. Play a game. Idle hands truly are the Devil’s workshop.

Third, accept that chastity is a process. It is hard to become perfect in a day, or a year.

Here is CA’s website on the topic where you can find resources and help.

chastity.com/


#13

Here’s a link to the relevant section of the Catechism:
vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s2c2a6.htm

And here is an extract:

2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. "Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action."138 “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved."139

To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability.

Contemporary Canon Law may be interesting but addresses mostly the rules and procedures of the Church. It is more a reference for Church personnel than for the faithful. The Catechism embodies Church teaching, and is directed at the people and addresses all areas of faith and morals.


#14

The Statement is from the Church…you can reasonably conclude it was written by Priests and Bishops, and approved by the Bishops as a whole. It quotes teachings of the Magisterium. So - the authority does not seem to be in question. I am sure many of the authors are men (all who have or had a prostate gland), if you feel that is relevant.

You don’t mention masturbation in women? And I was not aware that the absence of a matter being explicitly named and condemned in the Bible means the subject is AOK. Are you sure about that?

Your authority for your position seems to be…you!


#15

In terms of mental health, sexual deviancy is most easily proven to be unhealthy. It grants a license to self-indulgence and confuses the indulgence in any internal urge as being necessarily healthy; for example, it confounds being hungry and eating with being aroused and masturbating, as if these things were the same. They are clearly not: in the former case people die and suffer mental difficulties if they fail to eat; in the latter, no one gets sick or dies from not indulging. The extreme moral hazard in this is that, by extension, it grants any self-arising urge a certain legitimacy; however, even drug addicts suffer from a seemingly “natural” inclination to satisfy their urgers; as also perverts, who frequently claim that they have irresistable urges to indulge in their criminal depravity and argue that it is natural for them because they were born that way: i.e., they are only complying with the dictates of what is obstensibly “nature”.

The Church, to whose authority you defer if you are Catholic, clearly condemns masturbation. That should be enough for you to recognize its intrinsic evil and sinfulness.


#16

Basically that didn’t help. Half of you said don’t worry about it. Half said that I was going to hell. I don’t understand all of this. The Catholic Church is kind of unclear about he subject. The bible days nothing of the sorts. The magisterium agreed that it was a mortal sin, however they also dispelled the theory that earth orbited the sun rather than the other way around until like the 1900s. I’ve been told the magisterium is infallible. Is that true? It is written by humans and humans make mistakes.

Also, I’ve heard that other religions treat it as a tool to help avoid greater sin. I understand that it “cheapens” true marital sex, but I don’t understand.

Also, my question was really if I am sinning. I don’t want to masturbate, I have a few slight mental imbalances as well as am horribly addicted. Am I doing it willfully? I don’t want to be doing it yet I feel compelled to. I just don’t understand this ****. Am I going to hell? I love God and try to serve Him in every way possible yet I fail nearly every night! What do I do. So far no amount of praying has helped me at all.

Also, I hate the idea of going to get absolution every time I do it because I feel like that “cheapens” the sacrament of reconciliation.

What do I do?


#17

Just obey the 10 Commandments. And read the New Testament. Mathew, Mark, Luke, John. Study, study, study…:slight_smile:


#19

You keep believing this I hope…


#20

The Church is clear on the subject:
CCC 2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.” “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of “the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.”

The idea that the Church taught geocentrism (that the Sun orbits the Earth) is a myth exacerbated by modern secular culture. In fact, Copernicus was devout and remained good friends with Church officials even after his proposition of the heliocentric model. For more info, see here:
socrates58.blogspot.com/2010/11/geocentrism-not-at-all-infallible-dogma.html?m=1

Though the Magisterium is comprised of sinful humans, it is guided by the Holy Spirit to never teach error (cf. John 16:13).

Sex is ordained by God to be the act by which we express our love and create life; it is beautiful, but to separate it from its necessary consequence, life, is gravely wrong.

Don’t be afraid! One can never wear out or cheapen the sacrifice of Jesus, for it is infinite. If you do all you can to stop, and seek forgiveness in Christ, God will understand. :slight_smile:


#21

I intend to, with all my heart. :slight_smile:


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