This is a bit long, but I feel like I really need some help. I am 14 years old, and I have been in the iron grip of masturbation since about this February. So lately, I pray to the Lord that I won’t get the temptation to masturbate or look at lustful images, and I make an oath that I won’t, but once I am tempted, I usually succumb, unfortunately… I rationalize masturbating (I know it’s a mortal sin) with the fact that I think I’m already out of a state of grace. Even after masturbating, I deeply regret the act and I promise not to masturbate again, and to get to confession, but I usually end up repeating myself again and again. I was wondering if anyone here has ever had to go through this. And if you’ve successfully stopped, may you please tell me how you accomplished it? I pray for forgiveness, but I fear it’s too little, too late.
My christian brother,
I commend your honesty and desire to turn from this behavior. I have been down this road and cant promise anyone I will avoid it in the future.
I only can offer what I have come to understand. I am weak and He is strong. I cannot promise Him I will never sin again, but that I have hope that He can help me in my struggle. Lust is a powerful thing which we allow to control us. The key is to turn from the temptations when they start. We know when this happens, because we invite it. It is deep within our heart.
Remember always, that it is God’s goodness offered to us in the wounds of Jesus which have power over our sins. Lets focus ourselves on His glory and our hopes in His plan.
Do you have a sweetheart? If not, thats fine. But someday you probably will. Remain pure for her sake and that God provides you with a Holy woman. But not because of your pius devotion, rather because He is good and is a jelous God. He is jelous of anything we put before Him.
You will do well to never give up, no matter if it takes many years to be delivered from this ugliness. Seek His forgiveness when we do wrong and give Him thanks for putting our sins on Jesus.
Yes, it’s tough and many of us have been there.
It is important to pray, and I would say the say the rosary daily and go to daily Mass when and if you can.
As far as confession goes, I think you need to ask your confessor when and if this is a mortal sin for you. :yup:
Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance, direction, strength, fortitude & wisdom to overcome your temptations.
If you are going to post on this subject, you may want to consider changing your user name.
Satan wants you to believe in too little too late. Never give up, try new things. When you get knocked down, get back up. Use the Rosary.
Thank you all, I have renewed vigor from this. I will strive to quit the temptation. To papatokiki, I chose a generic pseudonym as a username, but I’ll take your advice and make it more different. Thanks
I can’t find where to change it though, but thanks!
Did you ever read the Letter of James in the New Testament, where James wrote to consider it a joyful thing when you are tested (tempted), because there you can learn endurance and steadfastness.
Later he said that we are tested by our own desires, when they lure us away.
What are our desires luring us away from?
When you are tested, your desire to be satisfied is luring your thoughts away from being Christ’s servant. As Jesus servant, his subject (for he is your King and your older brother), you and I are ready to do the things he asks of us, to move when he says it is time to go, to rest when he says it is time to take a break, etc. But the testing, the desire, lures us away from remembering what we are doing in paying attention to Jesus. It steals our mind’s focus, so that we forget about what Jesus is expecting of us, and instead we begin to act without reason, without forethought about the meaning of what we are doing.
Why would James tell us to be joyful when we are tempted?
Because it is a place to stop and think about what we are doing before we are lured away.
When you are tempted by desire luring you, stop and think how you felt last time after failing to remain steadfast. Your desire lured you to thinking you would be satisfied, but after it was all over, you knew you had been wrong.
Basically, stop and think and remember, your hands belong to Jesus, your thoughts belong to him - in the moment of desire, stop, think, and ask him to be your King and tell you are ready and available to do what he wills,
Then, whenever you stop and think and talk to him, if you find yourself successful, be joyful that you have developed a bit of perseverance with the gift of the desires God gave you.
God gave you your desires, not so you would be your own god and satisfy your desires, but so that you would learn to persevere in trusting Him to give you all good things, persevere in stopping, remembering Him and his promises, and calling on his Name.
As always, very well written and great advice !
about if we passed through that, yes, almost every male has.
now about the oaths, dont make them, you’ll only feel worst if you failed since it wil be twice the sin. an oath to God should be something well tought, realist, so don’t make them lightly, and IMO you are not in the position to do that oath right now.
now, pray, that is the only way out of that, pray to God to make your battle posible for you.
and dont lose hope. and don’t lose hope, this seems awfully hard since it seems a battle that will last up to 60 or more years, but don’t worry, habits change in 3 weeks, try to stand that much and you’lll be much better, live one day at the time, and if you fail, don’t dwell too much on that, but instead on how God loves you and wants you to keep fighting.
pray a lot, the rosary is a great weapon, and also check why you do it, do you do it because you are alone, stressed, bored? find the cause and youll get it easier. try to use your energy on something else, try a sport, and the obvious avoid being too much on the net if you start feeling the urge to masturbate, get up and run away from the computer/room/etc and seek a place where there is people (go out for a walk maybe), get rid of all the pornography that you have and those stuff that arouse you.
also something that happens is that when you fail you see easier to fall again since you feel you lose your streak, but don’t fall into that, first of all it offends God the same if you do it after 3 weeks than after 3 days, and you have to worry about offending God and not on a vanity of having a large streak.
Praying for you. If this thread doesn’t help, you can always try this site’s eternal search function of try google with “mastubation site:catholic.com” without the quotes.
My personal recommendation is to know your enemy. I enjoyed this free Christopher West series: giftfoundation.org/products_naked-audio.cfm. It’s 12 hours long, but I enjoyed it so much I listened to it several times. I’d rather be told the good news of love, then how bad a person I am (which I am, but the other way gets my better half).
The naked body, male and female, is amazing, and the most beautiful thing in this created world (by far). The body is also a person (we are corporeal persons), and as such should be revered. If you see a beautiful naked body (either objectively or subjectively beautiful), pause and admire such a great gift, and give glory to God. But don’t make the body into an object, where your mind stops there and turns inward. No, let that body redound to God, and commend your thoughts to our Creator. Only because of our fallen nature must we cover it in prudence (avoiding temptation is very important). But if prudence has you in unavoidable places (or at least natural ones) where a woman’s body (even if clothed) excites you (school, work, beach, a t.v. show with family, etc.), use that time to practice this purity. If you must guard your eyes, fine, but better to see, rejoice, and commend to God and move on. That is the true freedom we all yearn for.
Jesus’s core message of embracing the cross is the essential gospel. But most of us are so attached to the world, that we can take baby steps with this second-best gospel of beauty, where the body is not an end in itself but a roadmap to the divine beauty that is His love.
The only time it’s too late for forgiveness is when we die. The best advice I ever received on the subject is that it is not the strong who conquer their demons but the weak who run to God for protection. When you feel an erection coming say “Help me Lord” and “Take this away from me O God.” The St. Michael prayer is also a powerful weapon. I suggest reflecting on what sort of things you are putting in front of your eyes. Remember Matthew 18:9 “And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter into life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into fiery Gehenna.” This is not suggesting to actually tear out your eyes but to rid your life of things that lead you to sin.
You are young and these feelings are strong due to your changing hormones. Don’t beat yourself up when you fall but run back to God, for He is always waiting for us. I am twice your age (28) and while the feelings are still there they are nothing like when I was 14. My wife has been away for the past 4 weeks and this is the longest (thanks be to God) that I have ever been celibate (since before puberty). It is difficult even now but I strive to be the weak man who runs away. And believe me,the temptation comes, especially at times when I am convinced it is not just from my own selfish desires but an evil influence trying to sway me into sin (it has been happening often during prayer). I wish you the best in this current battle and in life in general and may God bless you.
I mention this frequently on these kinds of threads, but I feel it is of the utmost importance.
You absolutely MUST take away the access that brings impure images into your home. I highly recommend the K9 Filter (both for your PC and Android/Apple devices), and I would recommend having your parents add it to every computer/tablet/smartphone in your house, so you won’t have access to the password. If you feel awkward doing that, then create your own password using the Holy Names of Jesus and Mary or something of the like. www1.k9webprotection.com/
Also, place holy images near all computers and use them as walllpapers on them as well. Keeping holy water or holy salt near places of temptation wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
Our priest recently compared having unfiltered internet access to having an adult bookstore in your bedroom. I don’t remember the exact statistics, but I think somewhere around 60-70% of all internet sites contain pornography. Here’s a link to his sermon on Lust, which is very good: latinmassomaha.org/#!sermons/c1up2 [It’s the one dated 7/27/14 entitled “Lust”]
So, first step is to get rid of the temptations. Second step is prayer (and fasting, if you can). I’ve heard priests suggest 3 Hail Mary’s every morning for purity as one way to avoid temptation during the day. If possible, have your family invite a priest over to bless your house if it hasn’t already been done. Lastly, I would suggest invoking the Holy Names of Jesus and Mary whenever a lustful thought begins to appear in your mind. You’d be surprised how much power is in those Names.
Hear, hear! Practical steps to take in the battle. And a battle it will be, but with sincere effort, a victorious one.
And fast! Practice fasting in the most intimate way possible with God. Not to impress God, but to strengthen your endurance and resistance to temptation. It reminds us how we are dependent on Him for true spiritual food. Its a Holy prayer that puts our carnal desires into subjection in order to allow the Holy Spirit to rule us.
Believe me. I am not lying. I find extreme similarities between myself and you. Same name, age, temptations…
What I am saying is I can understand your situation very very clearly. Please carefully read every word I type below.
a, Consecrate yourself to the sacred heart and immaculate heart.
b, when you resist it, you will find things very difficult. At that time, think of maria goretti and alexandrina da costa who were ready to sacrifice their lives for chastity. Keep repeating the holy name of jesus.
c, wear a blessed scapular and a benedict medal.
d, follow all suggestions of larsont7. His post on this was superb. To add on three hail marys, see en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Hail_Marys. It gives names of 14 saints who recomment the practice.
e, when you are tempted, remember that resisting it atleast once in your life will give you strength to resist thousand.
f, offer all your problems to God.
g, you can, if you want, ask for prayers in the prayer intentions page.
i thought you might need more help there.
Here is the official form for the private devotion of the Enthronement.
O Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, Thou didst reveal to the blessed Margaret Mary Thy desire to rule over Christian families; behold, in order to please Thee, we stand before Thee this day, to proclaim Thy full sovereignty over our family. We desire henceforth to live Thy life, we desire that the virtues, to which Thou hast promised peace on earth, may flower in the bosom of our family; we desire to keep far from us the spirit of the world, which Thou hast condemned. Thou art King of our minds by the simplicity of our faith; Thou art King of our hearts by our love of Thee alone, with which our hearts are on fire and whose flame we shall keep alive by frequently receiving the Holy Eucharist. Be pleased, O Sacred Heart, to preside over our gathering together, to bless our spiritual and temporal affairs, to ward off all annoyance from us, to hallow our joys and comfort our sorrows. If any of us has ever been so unhappy as to fall into the misery of displeasing Thee, grant that he may remember, O Heart of Jesus, that Thou art full of goodness and mercy toward the repentant sinner. And when the hour of separation strikes and death enters our family circle, whether we go or whether we stay, we shall all bow humbly before Thine eternal decrees. This shall be our consolation, to remember that the day will come, when our entire family, once more united in heaven, shall be able to sing of Thy glory and Thy goodness forever. May the Immaculate Heart of Mary and the glorious Patriarch St. Joseph vouchsafe to offer Thee this our act of consecration, and to keep the memory thereof alive in us all the days of our lives.
Glory to the Heart of Jesus, our King and Our Father!
but considering your situation, the one written by st. margaret mary alacoque is good for you.
O Sacred Heart of Jesus, to Thee I consecrate and offer up my person and my life, my actions, trials, and sufferings, that my entire being may henceforth only be employed in loving, honoring and glorifying Thee. This is my irrevocable will, to belong entirely to Thee, and to do all for Thy love, renouncing with my whole heart all that can displease Thee.
I take Thee, O Sacred Heart, for the sole object of my love, the protection of my life, the pledge of my salvation, the remedy of my frailty and inconstancy, the reparation for all the defects of my life, and my secure refuge at the hour of my death. Be Thou, O Most Merciful Heart, my justification before God Thy Father, and screen me from His anger which I have so justly merited. I fear all from my own weakness and malice, but placing my entire confidence in Thee, O Heart of Love, I hope all from Thine infinite Goodness. Annihilate in me all that can displease or resist Thee. Imprint Thy pure love so deeply in my heart that I may never forget Thee or be separated from Thee.
I beseech Thee, through Thine infinite Goodness, grant that my name be engraved upon Thy Heart, for in this I place all my happiness and all my glory, to live and to die as one of Thy devoted servants.
As for consecration through Mary, the following links might help.
fisheaters.com/totalconsecrationmontfort.html (do not read anti vatican 2 content on fisheaters.)
This is a bit long, but I feel like I really need some help.
that was not so long. but you need help,true.
I am 14 years old, and I have been in the iron grip of masturbation since about this February
Me too(i mean age).
So lately, I pray to the Lord that I won’t get the temptation to masturbate or look at lustful images
pray not for a lighter load but a stronger back.
and I make an oath that I won’t, but once I am tempted, I usually succumb, unfortunately…
it is very difficult to give up. but it is possible if you follow my suggestions. I
rationalize masturbating (I know it’s a mortal sin) with the fact that I think I’m already out of a state of grace
if you are out of state of grace, resolve to return to state of grace.
Even after masturbating, I deeply regret the act and I promise not to masturbate again, and to get to confession, but I usually end up repeating myself again and again.
i addressed it in a previous sentence.
apologies. i might have sounded a bit harsh. most of the things i said would be known by yourself.
.I was wondering if anyone here has ever had to go through this. And if you’ve successfully stopped,
me, albeit less severely .
may you please tell me how you accomplished it?
see my posts above and that of larsont.
I pray for forgiveness, but I fear it’s too little, too late.
it is never late. actually better if you convert late. see matthew 20, 1-16 and luke chapter 15
Thank you for your replies! I will take your advice and fight for chastity!