Masturbation and Women


#1

I am a woman and I struggle with lust and masturbation. Recently I went for my longest time ever without masturbating and today that streak ended. I struggle so much and I want to know if there is anything I can do to help me stop. Are there any tips you guys have?
Also, whenever I go to confession I feel like the priest doesn’t focus on my lust and masturbation. Do you all think that this is because he just doesn’t want to talk about it or am I so caught up in one sin that I can’t see that I struggle with a different sin even more?

Any help is appreciated. I am in high school and I am so confused by what is going on with me.


#2

Perhaps a healthy diet would be the most helpful thing. Different types of foods can affect you mentally by influencing impulses, moods, and other things. Try to stick with a strictly healthy, natural diet for a couple weeks, and then see how other types of food affect your mind.


#3

When I think impure or bad thoughts I don’t let them get any further. If you do think a bad thing, play static in your brain for as long as you can before you remember it. Then do it again. Eventually you will stop thinking about it.


#4

I am not sure how to say this, or if it will come out as I hope. I think it is safe to assume that every human out there struggles with this. You are obviously young and this is a time when your sexual awareness is certainly awakening. Temptations will arise and will be strong.

In a way one of the best things to do is to keep busy with school, work and other activities that don’t place you into situations of temptations. So avoid risky movies and parties. Also, readings focused on such things as the lives of various Saints can help keep your mind busy. If you do give in, as you say now, go to confession and accept your penance without worrying too much about what the Priests reaction is. He has heard this sin over and over and over. In a strange way the less “frantic” the reaction the better.???

Someone has suggested diet. I am not so sure about that, but I would certainly stay away from alcohol or other illicit drugs. They lower our inhibitions. If you are with someone and start to feel those urges it is best to make sure you remove yourself from a situation that is too private. At a party, maybe it is time to leave.

I think it is easy to forget that we are like other creatures and the sexual drive is very strong. Keeping our minds busy with healthy activities, our bodies busy with work, exercise and our hearts pure are good steps. Don’t forget to pray often…and at night when you might have stronger temptations start saying the Rosary in bed. Chances are it will help keep your thoughts pure and you will fall asleep easier.


#5

Gain in wisdom regarding the theology of the body. If you understand the conflict between the goodness of the body, and the devil’s way to pervert that goodness, that would give you the spiritual weaponry you need to fight in the future. Without it, you are, more likely than not trying to do battle with an enemy you don’t even know what it looks like. My personal recommendation is the work of Christopher West. He has a book for beginners (here: amazon.com/Theology-The-Body-For-Beginners/dp/1932645349) and a free download of a 12-hour lecture (here: giftfoundationdownloads.com/nakedwithoutshame.html). I recommend both a lot.

Obviously, pray for faith, always keep hope, and love and forgive others. Pray for all the victims of this plague.

Pray for me, and I for you.


#6

Say the Rosary.

knightsofdivinemercy.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/54_Day_Novena_Rosary.pdf


#7

Either reason, or another reason, could be why he doesn’t talk to you about it. :shrug:

Things you can do:

Pray often. As soon as you are tempted with the thoughts, PRAY. Don’t try to fight off the temptations alone. Pray to your Guardian Angel, to St. Michael the Archangel, to Mary, to a favorite or patron saint, or, of course, to Jesus.

Try to avoid any situation where you know you’ll be especially tempted. Take care of yourself, too, as Thinking10 mentioned, because being hungry, anxious, lonely, or tired can sometimes make it harder to fight temptation. If possible, get rid of and avoid anything that stirs up feelings of lust (certain books, movies, posters, music, conversations, etc.), especially in your bedroom. When you are tempted, you can also try doing something else, such as changing your position, environment, and/or thoughts to something that will help you discourage the desires to sin–or at least distract you from them. Maybe you can fold a load of laundry, or organize your desk, or call a friend to chat, or go for a short walk, or study for a test, or pray for your future husband, or whatever works.

Besides trying to avoid the sin, I’d also suggest that you work on cultivating the virtue (or virtues) that counters it. For lust and masturbation, those would be purity, chastity, and perhaps modesty.

Will pray for you!


#8

Forming bad and sinful habits takes practice, just as overcoming bad or sinful habits by replacing them with good habits takes practice.

Prayer is good, and you may want to look for a book by Abp. Sheen which I think has been reprinted, Virtue over Vice.

As a teen your body is going through very strong hormonal changes. You may benefit through discussing this with a priest who can act not just as a confessor, but spiritual director. If there is a convent near you, some more traditional order like Carmelites, Poor Clair, or Dominican sisters, see if they have a more seasoned sister or Nun who can help you to understand the joy of chastity according to your lifestyle. A day of recollection or retreat may help too.


#9

First of all, I think this is more a common problem than people realize. Yes, plenty of women masturbate, but it’s good that you are seeking to end this. :yup:

Do you all think that this is because he just doesn’t want to talk about it or am I so caught up in one sin that I can’t see that I struggle with a different sin even more?

It depends on the culture of Confession at your Church and/or the philosophy of your priest.

If you go to a Church where there is more often than naught a long line for Confession, some priests are diligent to the fact that spiritual direction and such should occur during these times.

Now , in terms of your priests philosophy, well, I suppose some see a need to mention specifics while others do not. :shrug:


#10

Praying for you to overcome your temptations.


#11

Keep busy and active. Also, I think this issue sometimes has to do with a feeling one’s emotional needs aren’t being met, loneliness, boredom. So, it’d be prudent to make strive to have a rich social and intellectual life, preferably with many young ladies your age, have friendships.

Can you volunteer? Some volunteer with animals, join some clubs, groups, or organizations, etc.

One can learn to sing, take up a musical instrument, learn arts and crafts, a new game, take another class, are just a few ideas.

Oh yeah, and prayer is a good idea, daily, and in the MOMENT of temptation. In that exact moment, you can…get up…walk around, say a prayer…anything to break it.

If you find any books, videos, situations put you more at risk, try to avoid them.


#12

Hi helm1,

I am so sorry that you are struggling. We all fall down.

All of us are faced with temptations. What I would do, the next time that you are faced with this particular temptation, is to pray right away, and do something else to immediately take your mind off of it.

Like the others have mentioned, take yourself away from the situation that puts you into the temptation. If you find yourself in a particular room or scenario, leave the room or the place.

I wouldn’t be worried about what the priest didn’t say to you. As others have said, it may have just been the circumstances that he was under, or maybe he felt that it wasn’t necessary to say anything.

God Bless You, dear one.


#13

Hi Helm,

Remember that the confessional is about becoming reconciled with God and the Church. The priest can offer some insight, but it’s not meant to be a replacement for real, in-depth counseling. If you do feel the need to talk to somebody about this in-depth, there’s probably somebody better equipped than your priest in confession. Just make sure the person is committed to the faith. Masturbation, like many sins, isn’t something many people are willing to come to terms with and admit, “Yes, this is wrong”.

One of the things I’ve found very helpful in life is that the best defense against evil is an offense. It’s excellent that you’re using your willpower to resist this, but if you want real spiritual growth, you have to change your lifestyle in some way or another. All spiritual growth can be broken down into four categories:

  1. Prayer (thanksgiving to God, petitions to God, examination of conscious, forgiveness, peace)
  2. Study (The Bible, Catholic books, Church history, your own life progress, a journal)
  3. Generosity (generosity of talent, treasure, and time)
  4. Evangelization

I will say the same thing with this as I will say with every sin under the sun. If you focus too much on your sin, you’re going to miss the bigger picture. You are a sister of Jesus Christ, Savior of mankind, daughter of Mary, Queen of Heaven, and you bear the image of the eternal God. You are part of a royal family. Be the best Catholic that you can be and I am 100% positive that you will struggle less and less with this and with all other sins.


#14

as you grow in holliness, such temptations will drop off altogether. you’ll also find that you can fast easier than before.
give yourself to God
keep God first,
pray pray pray
serve


#15

Well, I think masturbation and impure thoughts are the most common mortal sins. The priest hears it so often, it’s not surprising to them. Think about every occasion of sin and avoid them as best as you can. In the unavoidable near occasions of sin, pray, pray, and pray. That is all you can do. God calls everyone to try their absolute hardest to fight temptation. In times when you stumble, God is ready to forgive through confession. So try not to worry too much about this. Have faith that through a life of struggle, God will one day lift this burden from you.


#16
I have just joined C A ,,,, and this subject is the very second thing I see,,,,,, goodness...

Is there a way we can chat ?


#17

Look around. There are other theological posts. This post is trying to help a member with problems.


#18

look for the roots of the problem, too many time without doing anything, too many temptations?


#19

What if you just cant stop thinking about it ?


#20

Matt Fradd is an excellent source for addiction-breaking. He mainly deals in porn addiction, but his list of 5 steps to break free from porn can easily be applied to any other addiction - you can read it here: mattfradd.com/breaking-free-from-porn-a-5-step-battleplan/


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