I have searched and search, but have yet to find a thread asking exactly what I need to ask.
I converted to Catholicism this year. Before becoming catholic, I believed masturbation was okay.
Since becoming catholic, I am still trying very hard to quit in case the church it right. (It is not a dogma, therefore it’s rule that doesn’t preach infallibility. Here is the link explaining different teaching of the catholic church richardgaillardetz.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/disagreement.pdf)
I believe I am or was addicted to masturbation before becoming catholic, as I’ve been doing it for over ten years. Started when I was 10 or 11 and I am now 22. The longest I’ve gone was three weeks without doing it.
I tend to have extremely vivid sexual dreams that often cause me to masturbate. I must stress that I am awake when I masturbate, however sometimes it right after I awake. These dreams greatly trigger me and it is so difficult to stop myself. What am I supposed to do when my triggers are my own dreams that I cannot stop? Am I under mortal sin every time? I definitely feel like it’s against my will to have those dreams and be so triggered, but maybe I could fight the urge harder? I even tried to get up and distract myself one time, but still failed.