I didn’t know where to put this topic. I found this forum by googling about why mastubration is a mortal sin. I believe in the Catholic Church and know that this is a sin. I tried to give it up for lent. But I really don’t want to anymore. It’s awkward because I’m a female and usually males speak more openly or are the ones who do this more I think. Or it just seems more shameful to be a female saying I want to masturbate. So I know it’s a sin now and understand why, now what? I want to again. But I want to do what God wants. Am I sinning just by wanting to? I want replies to say “it’s ok you can fail and masturbate and God will still love you and you are still a Catholic” but really I DONT want those replies because I know they aren’t true.
I guess a little about me might help. I just did the RCIA last Easter was baptized. I’m 23 and just graduated college last year. I was sexually abused as a child and don’t like anyone touching me sexually. I don’t have a boyfriend and don’t really want one even if I feel attracted to a guy. I rationalized masturbation to myself by saying it’s normal since I don’t want to be married and ever let a man control me. I know I was lying to myself.
I don’t drink, smoke, do drugs, or anything like that. I work FT, I have great friends, no Catholic friends or family though. I go to mass and I especially like giving devotion to Mary. I put a miraculous medal under my pillow when I wanted to give up masturbation for lent to help me.
So I guess I’m writing this because I don’t want to give in and sin! Can anyone give me words to help please?