Masturbation is killing me


#1

For lent I decided to give up masturbation. I wanted to give it up for lent, but I found myself breaking my promise every week. I made sure I broke it on Sunday though. I am aware that it is a gravely disordered act, and I want so badly to be done with it for good, but it seems like I tend to give in to this sin every 7 or 14 days. It’s awful, and I end up becoming incredibly guilty and depressed after committing it. It becomes hard for me to pray, because I feel like I’m not worthy of God. I’m a horrible sinner, and I hate it.


#2

Know you are not alone! Do a search for masturbation and you will see hundreds of posts. We each have our cross or crosses to bear you are no different. At times we all stumble and fall, but we dust ourselves off, turn to our faith, and try again.

Your faith is strong God will understand. Speak to your priest, not in confession, and explain your problem. Their vow of celibacy gives them a unique perspective on this issue.

Keeping you in my prayers and my God give you the strength to fight on.


#3

[quote="Tony2255, post:2, topic:319103"]
Know you are not alone! Do a search for masturbation and you will see hundreds of posts. We each have our cross or crosses to bear you are no different. At times we all stumble and fall, but we dust ourselves off, turn to our faith, and try again.

Your faith is strong God will understand. Speak to your priest, not in confession, and explain your problem. Their vow of celibacy gives them a unique perspective on this issue.

Keeping you in my prayers and my God give you the strength to fight on.

[/quote]

I agree with Tony :). I recommend having a strong devotion to Our Lady. Never give up :D! You are in my prayers as well :).


#4

Just a note: You can't "give up" masturbation for Lent. Masturbation is intrinsically evil, and as such is something that you want to try and stop, but cannot "give up" per se.

Lent is a time for giving up legitimate goods which are things that we have a full right to, but choose to deny ourselves for the glory of God.

I support you in your attempts to stop masturbation, and by no means should you stop, but just understand that you aren't giving glory to God by only committing a mortal sin once a week; you are just attempting to insult God less.


#5

Spend time in prayer watch biblical movies or documentaries on saints I can provide some links if you want to watch them. Pray the Rosary 15 decades daily if you can multiple times in a day it works wonders I tell you.

Entire Biblical movie of the book Matthew

youtube.com/watch?v=fc8qOXeTsUQ

Song of Bernadette - Our Lady of Lourdes

youtube.com/watch?v=NDdC8XWGYLw

Passion of Christ part 1 there are 12 parts posting the first video

youtube.com/watch?v=vzU5WXJzUmY


#6

You’re not alone in this struggle friend. I have been trying to conquer this particular demon for a while now, and it is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I, like most people fighting it, fail often; and I tend to feel exactly as you do.

My confessor gave me some good advice though. Whenever I do start to despair, remember that God knows our sins, and has already chosen to forgive us; all we need to do is seek out that forgiveness through the Sacrament of Reconciliation. He also tells me to remind myself that, no matter what, I must keep trying, because it is the struggle to remain pure and overcome it that matters, more than our success. (Though, if you do succeed in being free of it, that would be amazing. Personally, I don’t believe I’ll every be truly past this sin, my hope is to at least reach a point where I’m no longer controlled by it.)

Do not despair friend, God knows you’re struggling to live in his will rather than the will of the world!


#7

Dude tell me about it. I just went to confession yesterday and fell again.


#8

The next time you feel the urge to commit this sin, take deep breaths in and out, then look deep inside yourself, as OBJECTIVELY as you can. Observe EVERY aspect of how you are feeling, including your thoughts, emotion and spiritual state (if the latter is impossible to determine, that's okay,) to find, if one exists, the deeper meaning as to why you get these urges so much. Determining this could help you stop. It could only be physical, in which case you will probably want to change something in your diet such as less grain, less potassium and or less B vitamins.


#9

I pray that God blesses you with strength and fortitude to avoid sin and the near occasion of sin. May you feel His mercy and His love.


#10

google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=4&cad=rja&ved=0CFUQFjAD&url=http%3A%2F%2Fteenadvice.about.com%2Flibrary%2Fbl10thingsmasturbation.htm&ei=9kVHUdRsrbPgA8nSgOgL&usg=AFQjCNHUaal2MDTtFLpUR5h8v63i2-pUrg&bvm=bv.43828540,d.dmg
You’re not a horrible sinner, don’t be asinine.


#11

[quote="ReachingFaith, post:10, topic:319103"]
google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=4&cad=rja&ved=0CFUQFjAD&url=http%3A%2F%2Fteenadvice.about.com%2Flibrary%2Fbl10thingsmasturbation.htm&ei=9kVHUdRsrbPgA8nSgOgL&usg=AFQjCNHUaal2MDTtFLpUR5h8v63i2-pUrg&bvm=bv.43828540,d.dmg
You're not a horrible sinner, don't be asinine.

[/quote]

Just because you do not recognize an action as a sin doesn't mean it isn't; and just because you mistakenly believe it to be healthy for you also doesn't mean it is.

Addictions are not healthy, period. When an action become a compulsion that is nearly impossible to control, it is not healthy. Anyone who says otherwise is highly misguided, and should examine their conscience.

I do agree with you that his is not a horrible sinner, however. He is an addict, and he is working to overcome his addiction. That's be like calling an alcoholic a terrible person for falling off the wagon; they're not terrible, they just lost control.


#12

You make sure you do it on Sundays?

What? :confused:


#13

I have struggled with impure thoughts, a lot actually. Not masterbation or lustful thoughts, but really bad evil thoughts none the less. The only thing that helped me conquer these was to read scripture, so I think you should just read the bible when you are about to do these things. Just ask Jesus to help you and open the bible randomly, you'll be surprised.


#14

Thanks guys for all these great responses. Jadetiger I made sure I did it on Sunday, because Sunday, being the day of rest, is revered as the day to indulge in whatever you gave up for lent. Unfortunately now that I think of it, breaking my promise to not masturbate on Sunday doesn't lessen the act's severely grave nature.

I'm feeling good about breaking this addiction now guys.Please keep me in your prayers.


#15

[quote="RoyalamI, post:14, topic:319103"]
Thanks guys for all these great responses. Jadetiger I made sure I did it on Sunday, because Sunday, being the day of rest, is revered as the day to indulge in whatever you gave up for lent. Unfortunately now that I think of it, breaking my promise to not masturbate on Sunday doesn't lessen the act's severely grave nature.

I'm feeling good about breaking this addiction now guys.Please keep me in your prayers.

[/quote]

:rolleyes: ....someone gave u bad advice.

Most habitual sins need 40 days abstinence to break. Same applies to ur Manu-sin. Mark the calendar, and count off the days.... and yes, the Lords Day counts too.


#16

Pray like crazy that God may take away this addiction from you and to strengthen your will. Our Lady and the Saint’s, Angels, you name it. You’ll recognize the moment that you have this habit under control.

I promise you when that happens your life will be so much happier and ready for the next challenge you face on the narrow road.

Just be prepared for withdrawal symptoms, like anger, fatigue, etc. But once you pass through that door life is so much better.


#17

[quote="RoyalamI, post:14, topic:319103"]
Thanks guys for all these great responses. Jadetiger I made sure I did it on Sunday, because Sunday, being the day of rest, is revered as the day to indulge in whatever you gave up for lent. Unfortunately now that I think of it, breaking my promise to not masturbate on Sunday doesn't lessen the act's severely grave nature.

I'm feeling good about breaking this addiction now guys.Please keep me in your prayers.

[/quote]

Don't play this game with the Lord our God, creator of the universe. You think God's eyes do not burn right through your self deception? You might as well start seeing yourself exactly as God does, to the best of your ability.

The question in breaking a lust addiction is not "what" you will do, but more about "who" will help you. If your conscience and will were operating properly you would not be enslaved, right? If they were, you could employ your willpower and do something. Sounds like that is not the case. So what is it you think you will do with a deformed will and conscience to conquer lust? Don't deceive yourself. Get help.

A lust addiction islolates you in shame and fear. Masturbation is a solitary act. The isolation is evil's way of keeping you enslaved. It's a never ending trap. If you are like most others who stop, you are going to need to humble yourself, summon some courage and ask for help. "Lust is God's way of crushing man's pride". It took me 30 years to learn this. 30 years.

The same pride that makes you turn to this sin also makes you say "I can beat this by myself, I will say more prayers, I will do this,I will do that". The truth is, we do nothing by oursleves. At this point you are not able to beat this by yourself, or you wouldn't be here talkking about it, right? Talking about it here and asking and learning are good first steps. You could talk to a priest, or a good friend, join a men's bible study, or support group. Bottom line, honest relationships with at least one other person are key. Have someone you can call when temptation is hammering you.

Don't put it off. The consequences of lust can be life altering.


#18

[quote="RoyalamI, post:1, topic:319103"]
For lent I decided to give up masturbation. I wanted to give it up for lent, but I found myself breaking my promise every week. I made sure I broke it on Sunday though. I am aware that it is a gravely disordered act, and I want so badly to be done with it for good, but it seems like I tend to give in to this sin every 7 or 14 days. It's awful, and I end up becoming incredibly guilty and depressed after committing it. It becomes hard for me to pray, because I feel like I'm not worthy of God. I'm a horrible sinner, and I hate it.

[/quote]

I'd guess u don't see same priest each week and confess it ? If you did, at week #3 ....u would gain the strength to stop, and if not then ..surely by week 4....your Manu-sin would be more pain than pleasure. Thats when u will stop.


#19

[quote="ProdglArchitect, post:11, topic:319103"]
Just because you do not recognize an action as a sin doesn't mean it isn't; and just because you mistakenly believe it to be healthy for you also doesn't mean it is.

Addictions are not healthy, period. When an action become a compulsion that is nearly impossible to control, it is not healthy. Anyone who says otherwise is highly misguided, and should examine their conscience.

I do agree with you that his is not a horrible sinner, however. He is an addict, and he is working to overcome his addiction. That's be like calling an alcoholic a terrible person for falling off the wagon; they're not terrible, they just lost control.

[/quote]

An addict to what, exactly? How many people have you met who just sit around and masturbate all day....your statements are confusing. An addiction is formally defined as something that the person cannot live without, cannot stop doing; as in the case of drugs, where life is affected and worsened. Masturbation, I think we can all agree, does not fit this definition. It is healthy for the body, and that is fact. It is proven. Can you prove to me that it is a sin?


#20

[quote="RoyalamI, post:1, topic:319103"]
For lent I decided to give up masturbation. I wanted to give it up for lent, but I found myself breaking my promise every week. I made sure I broke it on Sunday though. I am aware that it is a gravely disordered act, and I want so badly to be done with it for good, but it seems like I tend to give in to this sin every 7 or 14 days. It's awful, and I end up becoming incredibly guilty and depressed after committing it. It becomes hard for me to pray, because I feel like I'm not worthy of God. I'm a horrible sinner, and I hate it.

[/quote]

Royal,

You have surety. In fact you make it clear that you are sure to see Sunday not as a day of worship but as a day to act in ways that dishonor that day. This is sure. Why not try to honor the Lord's day for starters for sure and then consider some other changes....since you surely are sure to break your promise....why not try switching the day you choose to dishonor yourself and God....and at least honor the day that was set aside for worship....can you do that?


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