masturbation is killing me

Hello everyone. I’m a girl , I’m sixteen and I’ve been struggling with lust since I was about 9 years old. I grew up in a Catholic family, but my mother stopped believing in God so she never told me anything about Church teaching on sexuality. When I was 9, I read something about masturbation on the internet and I started doing it. For about 3 years I didn’t know it was a sin so i continued doing it whenever I felt like it. One day, I read the Catechism and I learnt that masturbation was considered a mortal sin. From that moment on, I tried to stop and I successfully did so for 5 months. When I fell in that sin, I went to confession and prayed the rosary. Last year, I fell miserably. I couldn’t control myself anymore. I lost my faith and started doing it twice, sometimes three times a day. Even when I don’t feel the temptation, I still feel like I HAVE to do it. I’ve been able to stop doing it for a week, but it was really, really hard. I am completely discouraged, I tried everything. Confession, Rosary, the Miraculous Medal, Tying my hands before going to bed, taking cold showers. I feel like my soul is completely dead, I have absolutely no love for God or for anyone left in my heart. I stopped going to Mass because I don’t want to receive communion with this sin on my soul. I want to change but I really can’t! Please help me and pray for me, I’m so scared to go to Hell!

Relax, and don’t worry. God understands your struggles. Loads of people struggle with this. Just let it go to Jesus…

I had this problem, and it was me trying to do it all by myself that was causing me to fail. Trying to win all by myself. That’s pride, and it got me nowhere. Just pray regularly for Gods grace AND keep yourself busy, don’t set yourself up in those tempting situations.

You’re not gong to hell over this, hell is the persons choice, you sound like someone who is repentant and has not rejected God, so take it easy on yourself.

Reading this just makes my heart go out for you. I’m not Catholic, but I’ve read enough posts here to believe that many Catholics have the same situation and thoughts at some point in their life.

If you were a boy, I’d have no problem recommending you talk to your priest. If you’re comfortable with that, then do so. Otherwise, I have to believe there’s some strong female support group (either online here or in your church) that can give you advice.

The only real advice I, as a non-Catholic, can give you is to not beat yourself up about it too hard. This is far more common among your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ than most people will admit. It sounds like you are truly repentant - that’s a good thing (and the best thing). Never forget that God will love and forgive you if you are truly sorry for your sins and make an honest, eager effort to repent.

I recommend you continue going to church. I believe you can confess your sins beforehand in order to fulfill your obligations.

If I am wrong in any of this advice, I apologize and ask that others kindly correct me.

I’m a guy. I suffered from this terrible addiction for most of my life and through the Lord I conquered it! Let me tell you how. I don’t know if you use the computer to view porn while masturbating but if you do, change your desktop wallpaper to images of the Virgin Mary! Hang posters of the Virgin Mary in the places where you usually masturbate in full view so you can’t help but see it. PRAY THE ROSARY whenever you feel like you want to masturbate. DO NOT attempt to cause yourself discomfort when you feel like masturbating because that will NOT work. I see that your name is Therese so ask Saint Therese to pray for you and remember her childlike innocence. Wear a large crucifix around you neck all the time. When you feel like masturbating you will feel guilty for doing it with a crucifix around your neck and you will feel like you want to remove it. DON’T remove it.

Surround yourself with images of Our Lord and Our Lady. Put them where you can never escape looking at them. Very hard to masturbate while looking at a cross.

When you are successful at not masturbating for a time, reward yourself with something you like to eat. This way you replace the good feeling of orgasm with another good feeling that is not harmful. As I said before do not attempt to harm yourself i.e. popping a rubber band on your wrist or taking cold showers to shock yourself. This will make you want to masturbate MORE.

If you can go a month, you’ll probably be in the clear because the addiction will be broken. It is VERY easy to slip back into it though and you’ll need to be vigilant for the rest of your life. GO TO CONFESSION and always go to the same priest. You’ll feel embarrassed at having to confess this sin again and again to the same person. This will help you stop.

These are very hard steps to take but you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you! God bless you and I will pray for you! I love you, little sister in Christ! May Christ deliver you!

It sounds like you are suffering from an addiction. Honestly, it’s an addiction many people fall into. As such, keep going to confession, probably weekly. And, let the priest understand that you do want to stop, but are having a hard time actually doing so. Secondly, understand that since you’re addicted, though the sin of masturbation remains a grave matter, your culpability is reduced, as your ability to freely choose the sin is much reduced. Third, keep praying the rosary. It will eventually help. And get involved in religious activities. It looks like you want to free yourself from the addiction - honestly, you may need professional help (but make sure it’s Catholic-based - many non-religious therapists actually consider masturbation to be a healthy release of sexual energy) and/or an exorcism (as you may be under demonic influence). Finally, do not be distraught. Satan wants you distraught because that way he can pull you down with even graver sins than masturbation, such as pornography, prostitution, and the like.

Lord, have mercy on us.
Christ have mercy on us.
Lord, have mercy on us.
Christ hear us.
Christ, graciously hear us.
God the Father of Heaven,
Have mercy on us.
God the Son, Redeemer of the world,
Have mercy on us.
God the Holy Spirit,
Have mercy on us.
Holy Trinity, One God,
Have mercy on us.
Holy Mary, Queen of Angels, pray for us.
Saint Raphael, pray for us.
Saint Raphael, filled with the mercy of God, etc.
Saint Raphael, perfect adorer of the Divine Word,
Saint Raphael, terror of demons,
Saint Raphael, exterminator of vices,
Saint Raphael, health of the sick,
Saint Raphael, our refuge in all our trials,
Saint Raphael, guide of travelers,
Saint Raphael, consoler of prisoners,
Saint Raphael, joy of the sorrowful,
Saint Raphael, filled with zeal for the salvation of souls,
Saint Raphael, whose name means God heals,
Saint Raphael, lover of chastity,
Saint Raphael, scourge of demons,
Saint Raphael, in pestilence, famine and war,
Saint Raphael, angel of peace and prosperity,
Saint Raphael, endowed with the grace of healing,
Saint Raphael, sure guide in the paths of virtue and sanctification,
Saint Raphael, help of all those who implore your assistance,
Saint Raphael, who was the guide and consolation of Tobias on his journey,
Saint Raphael, whom the Scriptures praise: Raphael, the holy angel of the Lord, was sent to cure,
Saint Raphael, our advocate,
Lamb of God, Who takes away the sins of the world,
Spare us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, Who takes away the sins of the world,
Graciously hear us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, Who takes away the sins of the world,
Have mercy on us.
Christ, hear us.
Christ, graciously hear us.
Pray for us, Saint Raphael, to the Lord Our God,
That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ
Lord, Jesus Christ, by the prayer of the Archangel Raphael, grant us the grace to avoid all sin and to persevere in every good work until we reach our heavenly destination, You Who lives and reigns world without end. Amen.

Don’t do it! Pray the saint michael and saint raphael chaplets! Find them on the internet. read the Book of tobit and fear the lord! Asmodeus is dangerous! Raphael is the answer!

Hmmm that is a toughie. But don’t lose hope, just keep trying. It’s unusual that the rosary failed because that’s usually all it takes. Are you sure you’re praying it once every day or more? Because if just saying it once doesn’t work, then keep doing it. They’ve done studies on people who pray the rosary, that it mentally helps you focus. The pressure you feel to masturbate is really a mind over matter thing, with a few important tips on avoiding certain situations. First, I really think you should take note of the situations you break down most. You often get tempted in repetitive situations. For me it was whenever I was bored, watching TV, trying to do homework, etc. Just stuff where your mind can wander. Once you have note of those situations, take guard to busy yourself when they come, whether its praying the rosary or another activity to keep busy. Even the bible recommends not to leave your mind free to wander like that, that you should busy yourself. That’s because the devil loves to strike when you aren’t busy, and if you pay attention, it really is true. You should avoid being alone and try hanging out with friends or family. That can help. Its also important to keep it off your mind, because if you just worry about it while trying to quit, then you’re more likely to break. Hmm what else. Oh yeah, don’t stop going to church, because that’s also a mortal sin and when in a state of mortal sin, it’s important not to make it worse. Plus, going to church will keep you motivated to quit. Next, you have to really be motivated. You sound like you already are, but its still important because if in the back of your mind your still thinking “this probably won’t work” or “i’ll probably go back to it or fail” then yeah, you’re just a ticking time bomb. Also, when you go to confession, you have to really want to turn away from all your sins, and be really sorry for it. With your resolve, things will start to turn your way. In the extreme situations where you feel you’re about to break down and do it, give yourself a chance to at least pray. Jesus himself said “if you are trying to free yourself from sin, you must pray.” No matter what your life is like, you can stop praying to God. I highly recommend reading St. Faustina’s diary of mercy in its book form. That or any story of a saints life with God. This is a great motivation for a lot of reasons. It can show you just what God can do in your life, it can motivate you to continually ask him for help, it can you show you just how much he loves you and wishes to help you. I know that whenever I’d started masturbating again, I’d always be drawn back to her story. It’d remind me that it’s never too late, and I’d try again. Even though whenever you fail at quitting masturbation, it has an annoying effect of discouraging you. That’s why reading a saints story can be such a great thing, it can be God’s way of encouraging you. Yeah, don’t stop going to confession. Without it, you have a really low chance of being able to quit. If you still need more advice, you can message me for more ideas. Good luck! P.S. Ask people on this website to pray for you.

Confession- frequently.
Receive blessed sacrament- frequently.

If you have scruples (ie. fear over a sin that doesn’t exist when it is just temptation or fear of hell) then please contact a priest who has experience in this area.

Firstly don’t be scared. Fear is not god. I have this problem to sometimes and I get tempted and I’m a lot older man. The rosary really does work. Say it everyday. I practice lectio divina too so I do that on Fri-sun. Keep going to Mass. I have been slipping some on that but alot of it is beyond my control. Just keep trying. Don’t worry. Masturbation is a grave matter but it’s not a mortal sin for all.

Hi everyone,
Thank you so much for your answers!!! I’m definitely going to always stay busy and continue to pray as many rosaries as i can. I already wear a cross and a miraculous medal around my neck, but that doesn’t stop me from sinning, although I feel horrible afterwards. I can’t have a regular confessor though, there is no confession at my parish and I have to go to another church to confess. Also, when I try to talk about this sin to a priest, he completely avoids talking about it and he doesn’t give me any advice. I’ve tried to find some youth groups, but the only ones i’ve found in my area are really UNfaithful to the pope and I feel it would be even more detrimental to my spiritual life to be part of them. So, I can’t really talk about this to anyone… thank you again and PLEASE pray for me.

Can you explain what you meant by exorcism? How can I get one? I thought it was only for possessed people…

I’m sorry you’re going through this and I understand it can be frustrating fighting these temptations. But I don’t believe you have no love for God or for other people in your heart. Even the fact that you want to get better is a sign that you care about God and your soul. You can still go to Mass, and you should, even if you can’t recieve Communion before going to confession. We get many graces from the participation to the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass and with this occasion we can bring at the foot of the altar all our problems and struggles. It’s important not to focus our entire life/spiritual life on a certain aspect (like our sexuality) but to trust in God, do our best and rise when we fall. This problem is not going to last forever, it’s harder in the beginning when we try to stop.
I will pray for you and please don’t lose hope!

I don’t think your under demonic influence. Your eyes would be almost completely black with large pupils. Can you stand going to Mass and having holy water applied. Possession is a farout scenario.

Has your medal been blessed. If so and your wearing it I don’t think your possessed.

What kind of stresses are you under?

medhelp.org/posts/Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder-OCD-/Compulsive-masturbation/show/988812

medicinenet.com/sexual_sex_problems_in_women/article.htm#what_causes_sexual_problems

DO you do this to relieve tension? Do you have racing thoughts? Could be OCD.

A disciple came to a certain Elder, one day, and said, Father, I have fallen! The Elder answered, Get up! Again and again he came to the Elder and said, I have fallen! and the Elder invariably answered, Get up! Until when must I continue getting up? the disciple asked, and the Elder answered, Until the day when you give up your soul to God! Thus, every time when we feel that we have fallen, the Sacrament of Repentance tells us to get up.

Therese I just wanted you to know that I lit a candle for you today. May God deliver you. :slight_smile:

Dear brother, thank you so much for this!! God bless you!

I don’t think I suffer from OCD… I do get unwanted sexual thoughts a lot, but I think that is called a temptation, not racing thoughts. I noticed that I am more tempted when I feel lonely or abandoned by God (I actually ALWAYS feel that way).

And you deal with these lonely and abandoned thoughts by masturbation? Sounds like it could be OCD to me. And your more tempted then. Yep I would check it out.
Luvox might be just what you need

allpsych.com/disorders/anxiety/ocd.html

See it’s not always racing thoughts but persistent thoughts. You could become depressed and tempted. Depression and anxiety almost always go together,

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