Hi… Im a 14 year old girl and I have a problem with masturbation I really don’t like to say this because I find it very embarrassing but I need help. I have to go to confession more then once a week because of it its got to the point where Im going to go to confession this saturday and I have to say I’ve masturbated 35 times and its only been one week I really don’t want to offend Jesus anymore and im trying very hard but Im continually failing! Any advice would mean the world to me. Please pray for me!
Advice: Keep going to confession.
Is it possible that you have developed an addiction? Perhaps you should seek professional help from a Catholic therapist. I recommend a Catholic therapist because secular therapists are likely to say you don’t have a problem when in fact, you might actually have one.
Make yourself busy with something to keep your mind off thinking about doing it. Praying the rosary or praying to God for strength when you are feeling the temptation helps.
I feel so sorry for you that your religion teaches you to feel such fear and guilt over something that is so natural. My advice: Start rethinking what you believe.
I would also recommend praying the Rosary. Try praying the Rosary or at least recite a Hail Mary or two when you feel tempted. Also, pray the Saint Michael the Archangel prayer when tempted. You might get you a Saint Benedict Medal and make sure you get it properly blessed. It is a good sacramental that helps to ward off demons through Saint Benedict’s intercession.
35 times in one week means an average of five times a day. I definitely think you have a problem and should see a Catholic therapist.
- Go to Confession
- Figure out what is causing you to sin.
Are you looking at impure images? If so, then you need to stop. Avoid watching shows or movies or visiting websites that contain immodest dress or behavior. You may also want to go to your Internet settings and block any websites you visit that are causing you to sin.
Are you alone a lot? If so, consider joining an after school club or volunteering. It will keep your mind on sometime positive and off of the temptation to masturbate. At home you could do extra chores. Most people do not masturbate in front of other people (if you did I’m sure your parents would have noticed and taken you to get professional help), so not being alone can help.
You also might want to exercise a lot. That way when you go to bed you’ll be tired and fall right asleep. No time just sitting in bed, being bored, tempted to do something you shouldn’t.
Just because something is natural doesn’t mean you should do it. Animals fight and kill each other all the time, so by that logic humans should, too.
I’d also like to add that science is on the side of the church. Although masturbating can sometimes relieve a little stress, that is a temporary effect, and masturbation has been shown to lead to long-term negative effects.
Masturbation alters the brain to fantasy, giving people unrealistic expectations when they are ready to look for a spouse. In women, it has also been linked to serious cases of depression because the female brain is wired to bond with her mate after orgasm, and if there is no mate there is a problem.
I would suggest talking with your priest and then asking about a 12 step group that deals with this. The biggest boost you can receive is knowing you are not alone. Knowing that you can start to move forward.
little steps… an hour then thank God. Don’t worry about stopping it all today worry about NOW. All you need to think about is now, the rest will come.
I will pray for you. It sounds as if you’ve gotten into a really bad habit bordering on an addiction. Your body can crave that flood of chemicals just as if you were taking a drug. You have to be aware that you will have the same kinds of withdrawals as if you were a drug addict. I hope you aren’t also looking at porn on line, but if you are, you need to break that habit too.
Say the Hail Mary whenever you find yourself thinking about masturbating. Hold a rosary in your hands as much as possible when you are tempted. If you masturbate when you go to bed, say the rosary instead. Do not read anything that gives you those kinds of thoughts. Do not look at anything that tempts you. Try to do more outdoor things, get a hobby, do things with your parents, do not spend hours in your room alone.
Do go to confession even if you are embarrassed. You will do better the more often you go. It really will help you.
Click on the “Chastity” tab at the top of this page. I think Jason Evert has some material on masturbation there.
Hang in there, Brookiedolly! You’ll beat this, you can do it.
Non-Catholics are welcome to participate but must be respectful of the faith of the Catholics participating on the board.
I’ve struggled with the sin as well. Here are some tips I’ve found to be helpful.
Keep going to confession.
Stop watching any tv shows or movies that provoke lustful thoughts.
Keep yourself busy during your free time, especially at night. For example, I’ve been spending my time learning how to pray the liturgy of the hours.
Pray a rosary at night. In fact, make night time before bed your time with God. Pray, read scripture, pray some more.
Spend as much time in the living room rather than your room. I’m guessing that alone time in your room is when you’ve been most vulnerable and most likely to commit the sin, just like the rest of us. Keep your room as only time for going to bed, at least thats what has been the case for me. Do your studying and prayer in the living room or any other area, then only go to your room when you are going to bed.
When everyone else goes to bed (if you are a night person), turn off the tv and computer.
Hope these help. You’ll be in my prayers.
Sorry if you find my conduct disrespectful. I find it morally reprehensible that a young person should be made to feel such mental anguish over something that is perfectly natural.
I know exactly how you feel. I’m a girl, have been doing it since I was about 10, and I’m now 26 and still struggling with it. I have other issues that are magnifying my problem (Scrupulosity, OCD, etc.). Definitely get some outside help. Pick a good priest to be your confessor and spiritual director, and stick with him. Also, you might need to see a good Catholic therapist. This is an option I am exploring for myself right now. In the meantime, keep praying, receiving the sacraments, and go to Adoration often if you can. The devil’s greatest victory is when we fall and don’t pick ourselves up. He hates it when we get back up after falling so hard. Don’t give up!
It isn’t religion though that makes one feel guilty after committing sin. It’s called your conscience. Some people are very blinded and have effectively tuned out their consciences though.
In this case, it is religion. Who says masturbation is a sin?
Did this just start up or is this an early childhood habit? How are you emotionally feeling? Are you depressed?
My advise to you is to go to confession weekly. I think going more frequently at this point is excessive. This sounds like a habitual sin that you are falling into, rather than one you are deliberately stepping into. I would also recommend guarding your mind. Avoid music that gets your mind dwelling on sex. Do not watch romance movies (even romantic comedies) even if they don’t have a sex scene. Pray the rosary daily, do your homework deligently and seek to resolve any emotional issues that might be motivating this.
Let’s stop feeding the trolls please. If we ignore them they will hopefully go away and not be allowed to hijack this thread.
There’s some good advice here so far. I particularly like dje101’s post…very helpful advice.
Anytime you lose control of yourself you have a problem. That goes for alcohol or drugs or eating etc etc etc. You need to let your mind control your body, not via versa. That is how fasting helps us. I would suggest praying, reading or just telling your body NO. Good luck it won’t be easy but is an important skill to have.
Thank you everyone for the wonderful advice I would like you all to know I do not have an addiction, I have just had a very bad week and have fallen into temptation more often. Thanks again God bless you all :3
“The man who only avoids the outward occasions of evil, but fails to uproot it in himself, will gain little advantage. Indeed, temptations will return upon him the sooner, and he will find himself in a worse state than before. Little by little and by patient endurance you will overcome them by God’s help.”
-The Imitation of Christ (Book One, Chapter 13), by Thomas a Kempis
“How great is the frailty of man, ever prone to evil! Today you confess your sins; tomorrow you again commit the very sins you have confessed! Now you resolve to guard against them, and within the hour you act as though you have never made any of them! … [Remember,] we can easily lose by carelessness that which by God’s grace and our own efforts we have worked hard to win.”
-The Imitation of Christ, by Thomas a Kempis (Book One, Chapter 22):