May God lead those whom He chooses to read this to this thread. Amen


I want to ask for your prayers. Not only for me, but also those dear to me, especially my wife.

It’s been quite a full-on period lately.

I feel very weak. Weak against sin, and everything looks like sin. ‘Seeing sin’ seems to have become an addiction of it’s own, after getting rid of another 20-years-or-so one (lust) a number of years ago. Many things come back from this addiction, especially ‘images’ and ‘situations’. Hyper-aware of everything (especially avoiding even the remotest thing of sin) would be a good word for how I act these days. Though, in doing so, I probably sin more.

Everything seems ‘malformed’ in my mind.

Reading this thread:


Especially the comments and prayers from Trishie helped.

This seems to be a good summary line for me (just like for the person in the thread):

I know that God knows all, and I know that my mind contains errors. I know that I have to trust God more, and have more Faith, and in as far as possible, I do so. Though thinking about that, what is ‘in as far as possible’ - surely we can do more!

Confession is very difficult. Though I try to go somewhat regularly (few weeks apart at the time), I feel I have to ‘say this’ and ‘say that’ and go sometimes into a lot of detail. The ‘say this’ and ‘say that’ often comes from Satan I think, but not saying it makes me feel ‘even worse’ afterwards. I have often considered it would be better to leave off much of the detail, but when I asked a Priest (a very devout and Holy Priest I think) he said something along the lines of ‘that it was important to specify what/how’. He was quite busy that night though, but not sure if it came from the Lord or not. Though, I think I remember Fr. Corapi saying ‘saying I have sinned x times against this commandment’ is enough. If only I could find the episode where he said that (I looked) - tell me if you know.

God is good, God is very good. He is ‘all goodness’ and I am ‘all nothingness’. I often tell Him (with a semi-sense of humor) that He is to good for us.

Looking for peace…

I pray the morning office and the Rosary daily (albeit often distracted by things from my busy days - full time job, small business, family,…). The morning office helps personally as well, since the psalms often contain things that relate so closely (How can one read the word of God and not be helped, even if initially difficult!)

I know God forgives sins. I know he does so. I often choose to believe, even if my mind doubts. Unclean conscience or scrupulous (far?) beyond reason? I often don’t know. But, focusing on it too much makes it only much worse.

I assume some scrupulous people may recognize themselves in that last statement.

Sorry for my ‘loose ramblings’…

My mind is a Blessing from God, he has made me smart. It is also a cross for me, since there are too many ways in a restless mind. Too many options. Not God’s fault, but my own. Filled it with too much junk for 20 years orso.

Not expecting God to take this away from me. If it has been allowed, it’s been allowed for a good reason.

Asking for His Truth and Peace though. And, for clarity. Much much much clarity. Clarity and Wisdom. And, that clarity and wisdom will likely give me what I should really choose for more: Trust. Faith.


Dear rc1,

I pray that God grant you peace of mind and clarity of mind so you can work out how to respond to Him in a way that leads to: “Love your God with all your heart, love your neighbour as yourself”. I also pray for your wife and family. I pray that He will show you that He loves you very much and doesn’t want to see you tortured by all these thoughts. Amen.

PS I admire your devotions, regular confessions and so on.





Hail Mary,
full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the Fruit Of Thy Womb,
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.


Dear RC1, I am so glad that you sometimes speak to the Lord with a gentle sense of humor. I believe that is a delight for Him! And it’s healthy for you! :slight_smile:

I too have always had a mind that thinks in and around everything. I remember even as a child of ten pondering as I wandered the school playground, such heavy questions as, "How can You possibly love us. We are like millions and millions of generations of ants! I do have an answer to that, probably for a PM.

Thanks so much for PMing me. I’m a little restricted for internet time for the next nine days as my husband’s computer crashed and he had to do some heavy downloading after he got a new drive for his computer…as a consequence we’re nearly out of internet time for now, but I’d like to get back to you again after that.

What impresses me is that you are trying, and that you keep trying. We can’t always easily deal with the natural consequences of earlier sin, but it seems to me you’re doing the best you can manage. How many of us can ‘do our best’. The most we in reality can do, is the best we can manage. And this is what God hopes for. St Padre Pio was very distressed when he was plagued with the images of rows of dancing girls, which happened, poor holy man! Because he was human. St Pio is a super-saint. Obviously he did his best with God’s grace and his efforts, to put such images out of his mind!

“Walk with simplicity in the way of the Lord and do not torment your spirit. Learn to hate your faults but to hate them calmly.” (Saint Padre Pio)

Another great saint of recent times, and a Doctor of the Church wrote, remembering that Jesus says, “I tell you solemnly, anyone who does not welcome the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” [Luke18: 17]

“The only way to advance rapidly in the path of love is to always remain very little” “‘Remaining little’ means—to recognise ones nothingness, to await everything from the goodness of God, to avoid being much troubled at our faults; finally, not to be worried about amassing spiritual riches.” “There is but one means of compelling God not to judge us, and it is—to appear before Him empty-handed…spend your treasures as you gain them…All my earnings [merits] are spent immediately on the ransom of souls…Our Lord is justice Himself, and if He does not judge our good actions, neither will He judge our bad ones.”

In response to a novice who was discouraged by her faults, Therese said, “You make me think of a little child that is learning to stand but does not know how to walk. In his desire to reach to top of the stairs to find his mother, he lifts his little foot to climb the first step. It is all in vain, and at each renewed effort he falls.” “Well, be like that little child. Always keep lifting your foot to climb the ladder of holiness, and do not imagine that you can mount even the first step. All God asks of you is good will. From the top of the ladder, He looks lovingly upon you, and soon, touched by your fruitful efforts, He will Himself come down, and taking you in His arms, will carry you to His Kingdom never again to leave Him. But should you cease to raise your foot, you will be left for long on the earth.”

Saint Padre Pio wrote, “Pray, hope and do not worry. Worry is useless. God is merciful and will hear your prayer.”

I’ll be getting ready for morning Mass soon, as its 8.15 am here, but I’ll remember you at Mass and Communion.

In Confession the Holy Spirit will guide you in what to say, and with your sincere intention and trust you may be sure it is He who is guiding you. The person you’re speaking to in confession, the priest, is ‘in the person of Christ’. I usually ask the Holy Spirit to guide before I go, and my Angel knows the truth about me so I ask the angel to help me also…

While we must strive to overcome our faults, and to live the commands of love as fully as we can honestly manage, another saint of the Church gives this insight:

“Upon every person God loves, in order to bring them to God’s bliss, God imposes something that is not a defect in God’s sight, but is a reason why they are humbled and despised in this world, scorned, mocked and cast out. This God does to prevent the harm they would suffer from the pretence and vanities of this wretched life, to make ready their way to heaven and to the state of eternal happiness. For God says, ‘I shall tear you away from your vain affections and vicious pride. Then I shall gather you, and make you meek and mild, pure and holy by uniting you to Me’.” (Revelations to Julian of Norwich)

Anyway, dear new friend, so as not to be late for Mass, I must go.

Warm regards, and God bless you,



Hail Mary,
full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the Fruit Of Thy Womb,
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.


Dear Lord, this person, a good Catholic who is called rc1 is going through a passive purgation from You, as I understand things based on the essays and books I’ve read on St. John of the Cross. After living these past years free from impurity his unconscious mind and sexual energy is rebelling amid the desert he walking through (his straight and narrow life in You) and he fears this rebellion and feels he is not in control. This is exactly what you want him to experience: total dependence on you (and not on self) and purification - so he can become holier and grow even closer to You. I’ve read, Lord, that the unconscious mind is dark and that the sexual energy of man is strong causing strong sexual images and scrupulosity (confusion) to occur in souls when they are being purified from their defects - by Your very hand - in order for them to grow. May this good soul not fear any of this and just remain faithful to You and be free from any attatcment to following his own understanding. He is walking through the “dark night” now - as St. John of the Cross calls it. Now he is to walk by Your light alone and trust in You alone. When nothing makes sense for him and he fears these wild sexual images, may he just remain obedient to You and his faith and keep living a life of deep prayer and devotion to you. I’ve been reading about this these past couple of months and was amazed at how You work to purify souls You love and get them to place all their confidence in You and try to get them closer in relationship to You. May rc1 accomplish this closeness and confidence in You alone. Should he persevere with faith, hope, trust and love, he will accomplish this, Lord. Blessed be Your Name! Amen.


Oh Jesus our beloved Jesus. Help rc1 to trust You and have more faith in You. Be his strength in his trials and show him that you love him oh so dearly. Give him peace of mind that he may glorify you and praise you and not only in times of peace but in times of chaos. Lord take his hand and lead him. Amen.


Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and Blessed is the Fruit of Thy Womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Lord God, please remind this person of the infinite bounty of Your Mercy, and that You can forgive any transgression, if only asked. Allow them not to despair, Lord, which is the one sin You can not forgive. Through Jesus Christ, Our Lord, I pray. Amen.


Thank you…

I think so too :slight_smile: I should laugh a bit more :slight_smile:

It is amazing St. Padre Pio should enter into this thread. I think he’s been praying for me. Ooooh… I just remember asking my wife to ask him (and she did, I was sitting with her) to help me with this… We also used some of the Blessed oil from Padre Pio when we asked.

Be carefull what you pray for :slight_smile: Thank you Padre Pio!! Phewy, that is somewhat of a release right here and now. Thank you Trishie too. And, above all, thank you God :))

I think about this from time to time. I want to be a child in Our Holy Mother’s arms, in God’s arms, in the Churches’ arms. Lord, please show me how.

Yes. With empty hands. Has been a regular thought in my walk with God lately. Thank you St. Therese!

Oh, if only I could do this. Saint Padre Pio, pray for me, and all those amazing people that help on this website. Saint Padre Pio, pray for us.

Thank you…

This may need a bit more healing over time. Especially ‘the urge to say something’.

I’ve looked up Julian of Norwich, I have never heard of her. Though I am always very careful with lesser known Saints and revelations (it looks like she is Blessed?), I am interested in reading her writings (and that’s very odd for me to start with given the above;))

Thank you Trishie!


Oh waw… I am still getting shivers! You wouldn’t happen to be a real-agel-in-disguise would you? Thank you. Thank you. Than you. Thank you. Nothing more I can add. Thank you. Thank you Lord. Thank you Holy Mother. Thank you Saint Padre Pio. Guess I could add something after all :slight_smile:

A good lesson.

God can forgive despair as well.

[quote="CCC #982]There is no offense, however serious, that the Church cannot forgive. "There is no one, however wicked and guilty, who may not confidently hope for forgiveness, provided his repentance is honest. Christ who died for all men desires that in his Church the gates of forgiveness should always be open to anyone who turns away from sin.

Thank you mawatrucki and thank you everyone for all your prayers… I felt all your prayers not all to long after I had shutdown the computer when posting this thread. I really did. In fact, I felt ‘Grace in my tummy’ - not sure if anyone can relate to that, but it doesn’t happen often, and when it happens, it is special. Thank you.


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