I know I’m being called to a vocation as a nun. Specifically a contemplative. But I’m actually astonished by it because I’m the last person anyone would ever think would enter religious life. Before coming back to the catholic faith, my life was steeped in sin. I came back because I literally heard a voice tell me to go back to the catholic church.
Now that I’m back I keep feeling this longing to want to live in a contemplative community. I heard God talking to me in adoration the other day telling me that this is where he wants me. On top of this I have received lots of signs. The biggest one was when I asked God to help me understand if he was calling me to this life. It was either that day or the next I received an email from a Benedictine order (I had asked them to pray for me that I get off a dangerous prescribed drug safely) one of them emailed me back and knew nothing about me feeling called to a vocation. She wrote me said she would pray that our Lady would offer me her YES that I would give my life up to the Lord.
Aside from the signs though I do feel very pulled toward a religious vocation. However here is my big dilemma. I cant do anything about it right now other than pray because I’m going through a horrific prescribed psychotropic drug withdrawal that is severely affecting my mental health and I need to recover from this before I do anything. I have debt as well. So I’m not sure how any of this will ever happen, but I already picked out several communities that I hope to visit. And I really want to get on with it, but I need to wait this out.
Anyway this whole thing has taken my by surprise. If any of my old friends knew I was even considering this they would be on the horn having a field day with gossip and lots of laughs. I cant really believe this myself. Well that where I’m at right now. Any thoughts or suggestions would be welcome. Thanks.