Meeting Catholic Singles


#1

Hi Folks,

I am being received into the Roman Catholic Church at the upcoming Easter Vigil and am counting down the days when I can finally be in full communion with the Church. Since making the decision to convert I have realised the extent to which this isn’t just a personal decision but one that will affect and shape my relationships, present and future. Over the last year I have been thinking more and more about how important it is for me to meet someone who shares my values and I feel that meeting someone who is herself Catholic would be a good start (although, of course, no guarantee).

I just wanted to ask if anyone had experience of how best to go about meeting Catholics of the opposite sex and whether they would recommend any of the Catholic Singles websites (esp. in the UK)? I currently attend a rather large parish church in the centre of Glasgow where the chance of bumping into people I know on a regular basis isn’t very large. I have attended a number of events held by the church for the recent Jesuit Novena of Grace but I would say that as 33 I was definitely one of the youngest people there!

Any suggestions and experiences (and, of course, prayers!) would be very welcome.

Thank you,
David


#2

I do recommend Ave Maria Catholic Singles - they have an extensive registration questionnaire so you know much more about a person right away. They do charge $100 now for a lifetime membership but in my opinion it’s worth it. I know six couples who met and were married from that website - my sister is one of them; my best friend another; and a former professor I had in College is another. The other three are just acquaintances. Best of luck to you and God bless!


#3

Yes, I second www.avemariasingles.com . My husband and I also met and married through that web site. It is very orthodox and faithful to the magesterium. They do good work. My husband and I have been married for over 3 years and have two kids so far! :thumbsup:

There are other Catholic singles sites out there that don’t charge or don’t charge as much. I know people who have not had good experiences at these sites. That is not to say they are not good, however, having to pay more at a site like ave maria singles, you do find people who are more serious and committed to being in a relationship. I haven’t personally had any experiences with any other dating web sites, so I really can’t say more than that.

Good luck to you and welcome home! :slight_smile:

ETA: by the way, I just clicked on my link to make sure it worked and looked at the stats for Ave Maria Singles on their homepage. They have over 10,000 members! If I remember right, when my husband and I were members, just over 3 years ago, they only had 3,000 - 4,000 members, so they are certainly growing in size. I think that is a testament to their success.


#4

I commend you for seeking a spouse of your same religion. This will save you many problems and much heartache down the road.

(1) Besides Ave Maria, I highly recommend www.catholicmatch.com because it has a larger number of subscribers (at least in the U.S., I don’t know about the U.K.). (2) Do you have any Catholic singles groups in your area? Across the country here, we have “YAM” groups (Young Adult Ministry), named after each city (e.g., SacYAM for Sacramento Young Adult Ministry); they are for people in their 20s. At each meeting, you might do a Bible study, attend Mass, listen to a speaker, do a service project, or have a potluck social hour. (3) Also, I found Theology on Tap meetings to be a great way to meet people; there, the organizers bring in a great speaker and most of the attendees are singles in their 20s and 30s. (4) Lastly, tell all your Catholic friends that you are on the market for a spouse! Meeting through friends is great.


#5

[quote=Craigmaddie]Hi Folks,

I am being received into the Roman Catholic Church at the upcoming Easter Vigil and am counting down the days when I can finally be in full communion with the Church. Since making the decision to convert I have realised the extent to which this isn’t just a personal decision but one that will affect and shape my relationships, present and future. Over the last year I have been thinking more and more about how important it is for me to meet someone who shares my values and I feel that meeting someone who is herself Catholic would be a good start (although, of course, no guarantee).

I just wanted to ask if anyone had experience of how best to go about meeting Catholics of the opposite sex and whether they would recommend any of the Catholic Singles websites (esp. in the UK)? I currently attend a rather large parish church in the centre of Glasgow where the chance of bumping into people I know on a regular basis isn’t very large. I have attended a number of events held by the church for the recent Jesuit Novena of Grace but I would say that as 33 I was definitely one of the youngest people there!

Any suggestions and experiences (and, of course, prayers!) would be very welcome.

Thank you,
David
[/quote]

I highly recommend Ave Maria Singles at www.avemariasingles.com. I met my husband there. We began corresponding in August 2003, and married in August 2005.

They have a wide variety of people on their site-- from all over the world. You have to be dedicated to finding the right spouse, no matter where that might take you. My DH and I lived across the US from each other. But, that did not deter us.

My advice is to have no preconceived ideas about your future spouse-- where they live, what they do for a living, what they look like. Just let God bring the person he has in mind for you to you in his time. DH and I were both members of Ave Maria since 2001, but did not come across each other until 2003. We met some others on the site that did not work out-- and sometimes it seemed discouraging… but good things come to those who wait on God’s best.


#6

My sister met her husband on that site. One of my friends is now engaged after meeting her guy there. I strongly recommend it - a few friends I know on the “free” Catholic singles sites haven’t had good experiences.


#7

Thanks for the recommendations everyone. I’m in the same boat as Craigmaddie.


#8

I’m a single convert and waiting to find my spouse, so I understand your situation. I’m on ave maria and they plan a few trips per year so that singles can actually meet on vacation. A pilgrimage to Rome is coming up in Sept that might be easier for you to make from the UK than the Carribean trips or Alaskan cruise this summer.

I would suggest diving into Catholic life in other areas besides just a singles group or site. I have met more eligible singles in activities that were not “singles” sponsored. I have heard good things about the Young Serrans which might help you to grow in your faith while making Catholic friends. I personally got very involved in volunteering through my parish. I have met lots of wonderful people, single and married. Never forget that even much older married folks have younger single friends and relatives. I even asked a visiting priest whom I especially liked if he had any single brothers left at home. Now I have his prayers and an extra pair of discerning eyes looking out for my future husband. ; )

Congratulations on your homecoming to the church.


#9

I met my husband through an Internet Catholic singles website. We were married then divorced a year later.

Both people being of the same faith is no guarantee of success. You have to be discerning, too.

BTW - you think it’s hard to meet Catholic singles when you are young, try being in your mid forties. Everyone who is Catholic is married!


#10

Yes, I agree. A woman being Catholic is no guarantee that she will be The One™; but certainly as far as such critical (and therefore potentially divisive) issues as the sanctity of life are concerned then it would be fair to assume that we would be “reading from the same hymn sheet”, so to speak!

Ultimately if I met someone who shared the same values with respect to the fundamentals and with whom I felt a genuine affinity and who evinced a readiness to approach a relationship as something to be worked at over the course of one’s life then it wouldn’t matter if she weren’t Catholic. I just think that it is more likely that I will meet someone who doesn’t subscribe to the “hire-and-fire” approach to personal relationships that seems to be causing misery to so many Thirty Somethings here in the UK in the Catholic Church.

Thanks for everyone’s suggestions so far!


#11

All I can say is good luck brother! I’ve given up on trying to find a good Catholic gal. The last one I dated ended up getting drunk and fooling around with the sleeziest guy I know while we were still dating. It was pretty hilarious considering she was supposedly so devout. Then she told me it was no big deal. :frowning:


#12

[quote=nucatholic]All I can say is good luck brother! I’ve given up on trying to find a good Catholic gal. The last one I dated ended up getting drunk and fooling around with the sleeziest guy I know while we were still dating. It was pretty hilarious considering she was supposedly so devout. Then she told me it was no big deal. :frowning:
[/quote]

I’m afraid I’ve been there too and was scared off from relationships for a couple of years! :frowning:

Here’s hoping that we *both * meet our Ms Right! :thumbsup:


#13

I met my man on catholicsingles.com. I recommend it.


#14

[quote=Craigmaddie]I’m afraid I’ve been there too and was scared off from relationships for a couple of years! :frowning:

Here’s hoping that we *both * meet our Ms Right! :thumbsup:
[/quote]

Heh. Catholic girls. I’ve been meeting a few at various functions lately, but while they all seem like upstanding, beautiful human beings, well, I’m just not interested anymore. Maybe she’s out there, maybe not, but right now “freedom” and “eternal bachelorhood” outweigh “matriony” on my scales. I’m not talking about acting like your “typical” bachelor–I’m talking about my own kind. That is, no women = no complications. For the first time in my life the whole courtship project seems like a terrible waste of time, energy and money.

My advice to the OP is to quit searching. Those who claim to have happy marriages usually say they weren’t looking and it “just happened.” As repellant as that idea is to me, it must work because God knows nothing else does.


#15

Actually, the only reason I met my husband is because I didn’t stop searching.

One thing I haven’t seen mentioned is calling your local diocese and asking what Catholic Singles Clubs are in your area. That is how I met my husband.

One of my great-grandfathers met his wife by going to his parish priest and complaining that there weren’t any good Catholic girls to marry. Just so happened that earlier a Catholic girl had gone to the same priest and complained there weren’t any good Catholic boys to marry. The priest introduced them to each other, and the rest is history.

And you never know whom you will meet at Mass. My parents met at church, and so did my in-laws.

My advice is to use every avenue you can to find Miss Right. Let your friends know you are searching. Let your priest know too. Contact your diocese and do use the websites mentioned. And, of course, pray, pray, pray!


#16

And you never know whom you will meet at Mass. My parents met at church, and so did my in-laws

.

I’m lucky that I go to a church with lots of social activities, so this isn’t a real big problem for me, but Mass is a terrible place to meet Catholic singles, usually. For example, last week I got to Mass a little bit late–as usual, the place was packed. I stood in the far back. After Communion, it was about 3/4 full. Everyone bolted, and that’s a common theme I hear from Protestants.

So, if one must search, find out about other activities.


#17

[quote=montanaman].
I’m lucky that I go to a church with lots of social activities, so this isn’t a real big problem for me, but Mass is a terrible place to meet Catholic singles, usually. For example, last week I got to Mass a little bit late–as usual, the place was packed. I stood in the far back. After Communion, it was about 3/4 full. Everyone bolted, and that’s a common theme I hear from Protestants.
[/quote]

Yes, here in Scotland we say one of the most dangerous places to stand is the door of a Catholic church straight after communion!

For me meeting someone at mass at the church I currently go to is rather unlikely as there are a few hundred people in each mass. There are occasional ceilidhs (Scottish country dances) held - but these are only about twice a year.

Actually, there is an absolutely stunning girl who sings in the choir - so maybe I should start testing out my vocal chords! :smiley:


#18

[quote=Craigmaddie]Yes, here in Scotland we say one of the most dangerous places to stand is the door of a Catholic church straight after communion!

For me meeting someone at mass at the church I currently go to is rather unlikely as there are a few hundred people in each mass. There are occasional ceilidhs (Scottish country dances) held - but these are only about twice a year.

Actually, there is an absolutely stunning girl who sings in the choir - so maybe I should start testing out my vocal chords! :smiley:
[/quote]

Godspeed, sir…


#19

My advice is to look for volunteer opportunities that will involve a younger crowd at your parish. I started by volunteering for something that schoolage parents were required but they needed more volunteers. Granted, I did not meet Mr. Right there, but I met some fabulous folks that did match me up with Catholic friends of theirs. Also, and I don’t know if this works in the UK like it does here, but I volunteered for political committees as well, I figured I might be able to meet at least a conservative guy, and pray he was Catholic that way. In the end though, I met my husband at a bar I went to with a group of women after a fundraiser at my church. It was actually funny that I didn’t meet him where I was looking, but I knew he was a good guy when he was at a loss for what to do when a rather forward woman bought him a drink. I felt sorry for his discomfort and turned to him and said, “You know it isn’t a marriage proposal, it is just a drink. Just drink it and say thanks but no thanks when she comes over.” He laughed and we started talking. Seems he was there to meet some guys after work and they didn’t show so he was sitting all by himself… The Lord works in mysterious ways!!! I would never have been there if I hadn’t volunteered at the fundraiser!


#20

Before you make a commitment to choir make sure you take a look at her left hand first! I’ve done stupid things to try to meet a specific girl and almost always they are engaged or married.


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