Meeting people


#1

I have another “How to meet someone” question! I’m 23 and single. I really would like to meet some people my own age and maybe the man that could be my future husband. I don’t want to do the normal bar hopping thing alot of people my age do. I’m past that stage. I know some of you have used the online match sites but I am not financially able to pay for that. Any suggestions about this would be really appericated!!!

Thanks!


#2

Be active in your parish and diocese. Become the best person you can be.

Don’t waste time - take mission trips, volunteer, serve others when you can. (Those are things that won’t be as easy if you marry and have kids) If you do the things God wants you to do, you’ll have no worries :wink: . —KCT


#3

Hey, stop looking! I’m right here! Just kidding.

Yes, there really are guys who aren’t interested in the bar stuff either. The trick is finding them. They are not going to be hanging out in the obvious places, like the bars. They will be found doing the things they love and care about.

So, how DO you find them? You actively pursue the things that you are most passionate about, that’s how. You will inevitably attract men who are passionate about the same things you are. Real men like it when they can do things with their wives right beside them. You will be undeniably attractive to a man if you actively pursue an interest of yours that he shares.

There is no magic button that you can press to meet the right person. You will meet him by presenting yourself truthfully as who you are and waiting patiently for him to come along and notice you.


#4

Are there any young adult Catholic groups in your area? If not at your parish, check out nearby parish bulletins to see, or call their office.

And pray! God will lead you to the right person if you are meant to marry!


#5

I got on the diocese website to see if they had anything there but there wasn’t anything listed. When you see all your friends get married and start families it just reminds me how far I am away from that. I don’t have any friends that are single.


#6

If there aren’t any young adult groups in your area, maybe you could start one? I’m sure there are a lot of others who would also like to meet singles strong in their faith.

Your diocese web site should list all parishes in your area. Give them each a call and ask if they have anything or if there have been others who’ve expressed an interest. Most parishes will put announcements in their bulletin for free, so you could advertise a meeting to see if there are others interested.


#7

Actually if you have it in your area. I"d try the Theology on Tap, which does take place in a bar, but its a great way to meet people and talk about your faith, and theology in general.


#8

Hi keri,

I moved a lot so I have experience with a bunch of different young adult groups…the groups are out there, but they’re pretty hard to find. There probably is a young adult group somewhere in your city, but the person running the diocese website usually doesn’t know about it because the groups are normally organized by the parishioners.

One way to find a young adult group is to visit all the nearby parishes and read all the bulletins and all the signs posted on the walls. This doesn’t always work though, because the groups are often unadvertised.

To find an unadvertised group, you have to “ask around”. The problem is, if you knew a lot of people to ask, you wouldn’t be posting on this thread. :confused:

Another option is to ask the diocese youth ministry coordinator – he or she might have heard something about a parish with a group.

Like the previous poster said, if your diocese has “Theology on Tap”, you should definitely go to that, and then ask all the young adults there if they know about a group, or if they want to start one.


#9

My spiritual director said the same thing. Actually he said that after I commented “at the rate im going in the love life, I just look for an ex-seminarian.” He warned me that sometimes those types of guys can be the worst. Thinking about the ex-seminarians I’ve known he could be slightly right. Hope that doesn’t offend anyone.

Girl, I am in the same position as you, and I’m OLDER…lol… I shall pray for you and you can pray for me, okay?..hehe


#10

Hah. I’m by no means the ideal person to give you advice on this, considering I’m a single guy who doesn’t go out a lot, but logically…

…Logically, in the bars and such, you are not going to meet the right people. How likely are they to go there? Not totally unlikely (more on this in a moment), but slim chance. Actually, if you or I would on occasion go there, some other Catholics would probably also go. They’re just unlikely to be there.

Now, where would they be? If single and looking for a mate, probably either in some Catholic formal or informal programme, or, like you, wondering how to meet others. The former takes joining the group, the latter takes some reaching out. The former is probably the easier.

But easy to say. Well, things don’t happen just like that. Unless they do. It looks like they happen when you least expect them, so you might as well go on with life, but just I don’t know… stay open? Try not to miss those guys who are interested? Or interesting.


#11

Sometimes Catholic Singles offers free trial memberships. If they had not I would have never met my DH! :eek:


#12

Hi keri6789! There’re lots of ways to meet people. The key is making yourself available and making a conscious effort. Expose yourself to situations where it is possible to meet new people. I think some of the previous posters mentioned getting involved in your parish/diocese, etc. Another thing I’d suggest is volunteering. You can meet some interesting people that way, and you’ll be helping people in the process! It’s win-win situation. If you wanna do the online thing, that’s fine, too, but keep in mind that that’s just another avenue to meeting someone, and be careful!

I do sometimes bar-hop, but I don’t go there to pick up women; I just go there to hang out with friends. But if girls hit on me, well, it gets a little tough to say no, haha! Seriously, it’s like when you go to a bar, and you consciously make yourself unavailable, girls can literally smell that and for some reason it’s like a pheromone to them. Oh well.

One thing to remember is that in this day and age, a lady can’t just expect to sit there and wait for her suitor(s) to come along; she’s gotta put in a bit of effort, too. I’m not saying that you aren’t making an effort, I was just speaking in a general sense.

Anyway, hope this helps!


#13

Do what you like doing and what you feel called to do.

If you want to meet a man of faith, get involved in Church related activities.

Get involved in pro-life activities and volunteer to serve the poor and needy. Join a Catholic bible study or start one. Go to Catholic seminars, parishes often have these throughout the year or your diocese might.

Most of all-- continue to work on YOU. You are 23, quite young. Continue to focus on growing in holiness.

I highly recommend the book Date or Soul Mate by Dr. Neil Clark Warren to help you discern what you are looking for in a mate, and what you need to work on in yourself to be a good mate.


#14

Do you like sports? Join a sports recreational team and meet people there. It might be hard at first but it gets easier. Where do you work? Anyone fun at work? Maybe ask someone if they want to go for lunch with you? I used to make friends at work with other women my age who hardly knew me but came up and invited me for lunch. It was really sweet.

Most city’s have some outdoor social club that you can join. You can google that. These groups go hiking, biking, whatever. They are designed for single people to get out and meet new people and do fun things in groups.


#15

Maybe a Book club? I am joining one this fall for the first time. Running club? Go to your local Running Room ( I think they have those there in OK) and see what is happening.

There should be something available for all of your interests in a city like yours :slight_smile:


#16

You can meet people by volunteering at your Parish or at the Diocesian level. Youth Ministry, CCD, Pro Life - every volunteer you meet there may not be a young single guy, but they are people with brothers and sons and grandsons :slight_smile:

Volunteer with good Catholic orginizations, meet Catholics!


#17

At times like these I’m reminded of the scene in the “Beverly Hillbillies” movie in which Jethro takes out an ad on a billboard with Jed’s picture and the caption “Billionaire seeks wife”.

Why am I saying this?

Well, you already stated that your diocese does not have any young adult groups - and since it appears to be a city and not a small town, that surprises me, but it also shows a potential for a new ministry. So, maybe you should be more forward and straight out politely ask your parish priest where you could meet some good compatible Catholic men for marriage. Who knows? Maybe there could be a compatible Catholic single male who could have just asked him the same question at a previous Mass! If not, it will show that there is a demand out there.


#18

I googled “Catholic Parishes Oklahoma City, OK” - the first thing that came up was St. Eugne’s.

The bulletin is on line, the Sept 2 shows on the third page a Catholic Single Adult group that has TONS of activities!

00000vr.previewcoxhosting.com/090207_bulletin.pdf

Bet if you dig around, you will find even more!


#19

You could use your friends as referral services! (“Know anyone who’s looking?”)

Maybe take a class that’s going to be heavily stacked with men. Some kind of sports thing, I’m thinking.


#20

What about weddings and such parties? Something without offensive music and clingy dancing, more traditional and respectable in tone.


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