Melinda Selmys Sexual Authenticity

Anybody read it?

Is it worth buying?

I have a friend in mind, would like to be Catholic, who is of a historically orthodox Christian mentality, would like to believe in Biblical inerrancy, has a high Christology, but really finds the position of the Catholics on same sexed sexual relationships problematic.

Would reading it benefit her

I’m in the exact same place as this friend of yours, so I can’t answer that for you.
But that is the one issue that has been problematic for me as well.

She can become a Catholic and validly find some aspects of Church moral teaching
intellectually problematic. Only Mary and Jesus likely found they were naturally in tune with Church teaching on every point. Such is the consequence of Original Sin.

That is true but nevertheless she must accept the teachings as correct.

How would someone who in good conscience cannot yet accept some teachings do that exactly?

How do we get around Biology 101 in the same-sex equation?

Our feelings and emotions may vary all over the place and we may be attracted to all kinds of people but when it gets right down to it…

Male and Female = Babies

Babies need their father and babies need their mother and they need their mother and father to love each other. No matter what the circumstances might be, anything less than that is second best. Our society is playing with fire pretending that none of this matters.

Biological function is not always the sole arbiter of ethics I believe.

Then such a person cannot become a Catholic. Whether they don’t understand particular teachings is one thing but to become a Catholic the teachings must be nevertheless be accepted and understanding sought.
To become Catholic a person believes that the Church is the one true Church established by Christ and given authority in matters of faith and morals. By definition it means the Church cannot be in error in teachings of faith and morals. Therefore even if someone does not understand a teaching they at least know the Church is correct.

If they do not believe the Catholic Church is the one established by Christ then they cannot become a Catholic.
If they do believe that but still reject a teaching then they cannot become a Catholic.

Let’s say we’re talking about children in the home of a male same-sex couple.
“Second best” is still better than other options. Thinking of the child’s point-of-view here. Two stable loving parents are always better than one. These children are likely to have female role models in their life, even if it’s not a mother; there’s aunts, cousins, grandmothers, great aunts, etc.

To assume that all men have a set of attributes like being disciplinarians, tough, providing financially for the family, etc is just not accurate. Often times one or both fathers would have these attributes, while one or both would be have the stereotypical female traits; being more affectionate, a care taker, meal preparer, and comforter. This same logic can be applied in man & woman relationships, often times these roles are not strictly attributed to the man and others to the woman. It all depends on the couple.

Sure same-sex couples do not create offspring, but they still provide the things an opposite-sex couple offers their children. Most people don’t disregard the fact that men & women relationships are still very much necessary. To say that we’re going to run out of heterosexual couples to have babies is disingenuous. Heterosexual couples will always exist. There is no either-or going on here.

I say fake it till you make it. I found the Assumption of Our Lady a bit challenging to accept during my conversion. But I rolled with it anyway. “These guys seem to know what they’re talking about with everything else; I’ll just trust them on this”. Not very long after, I found some factoids and logical points that reinforced the Assumption well enough for me to believe in it.

That doesn’t change the fact that male and female human beings are profoundly different. Biology is biology and our imaginations are not going to change that. A man who is the father of a child may think that he is a woman but he can never be a mother except in the strange logic of his mind.

To deliberately set up a second-best situation for a child is wrong.

Sure there are many situations beyond the control of a father and a mother that necessitates a second-best, third-best or even fourth-best scenarios. But for a father or a mother to sell or give away a child for this new ideology is child abuse. The concept that children are nothing more than objects - commodities - used to satisfy the needs and desires of adults is nothing more that an experiment using children as guinea pigs.

No. We are talking about real life situations where people do choose to put the child up for adoption as the better option for the child.
Many mothers putting their babies/children up for adoption are not Catholic.
What about all the mothers that we’re encouraging to put the babies up for adoption instead of aborting them. Or to put the children up for adoption to get them out of dangerous situations. Would you prefer these children be aborted than raised by loving gay parents? Would you prefer these children grow up in a physically abusive home instead of being raised by gay parents? What about a home with drug/alcohol addicted parents, or a single parent that’s jobless with no job prospects. Often times the home situation for the child would be much worse than putting them up for adoption. And if they end up with a same-sex couple, I think that would be so much better than growing up with any of the above type of households.

I would not write out anyone who does not immediately get Catholic teaching. It took me sometime to agree but it has been a journey and I now assent wholeheartedly with the teachings of the Church.

It took me some time but I asked questions of Catholics and read a lot. I am glad these people did not say I should not become Catholic because of my misgivings but they worked patiently with me. In time they managed to convince me by their teachings and witness.

You know good and well that I am not talking about children that are in abusive homes, etc. I am talking about the selling and giving away eggs and sperm - their children.

I am also talking about mothers and fathers who do sell their children for profit.

I am not talking about homosexuals, I am talking about abusive parents and the market that has been opened up for them in order to either make a point or to make a profit.

That’s not what I said. I said to become a Catholic you need to believe the Catholic Church is the true Church established by Jesus and then even if they don’t “immediately get Catholic teaching” they must nevertheless accept that what the Church teaches is correct. Then they make the journey to understand the teachings.

It is NEVER acceptable for gays to adopt a child. That is immediately putting the child into a morally hazardous situation.

Agreed. This makes a case for the sexual Union of a man and a woman - indeed it makes the case that such is a necessity!

I have no issue with men loving men. I just fail to see why sexual acts are properly placed in that relationship, given the very nature of sex. For this same reason, I fail to see the applicability of marriage to same sex persons (given we understand marriage as inherently sexual).

(a) You are a sincere Catholic
(b) From this thread and many others with you over the years I know you have a distorted understanding of Church Teaching on conscience and personal sinfulness
© Yet that doesnt mean you are a bad Catholic, but only one who is not yet perfect…which is the case with all of us whether obvious or not. Also, teachings have varying degrees of certitude and required public assent and its not always a case of accept me accept my dog.

Yes, but biology is not complete ethics which you appear to assume.
God is more interested in the inside of cup and plate than the outside.
And as Pope Francis states, on a battle field we dont expect every i to be dotted and t crossed. There are many everyday life circumstances that can mean contradicted biology does not rupture life with God so the usual temporal negative consequences do not play out.

To take a one size fits all abstract approach to all instances as you appear to do is not the wisest of pastoral approaches…nor is it the example of Christ.

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