I am seeking your thoughts on what to do with momentos from significant others. Sometimes, I will save a special item, but usually the time comes when I am ready to part with stuff that past boyfriends have given to me. Some of my friends joke that I am quite “detached” because if a relationship ended on a bad note, I delete their emails and take down their pictures right away! I don`t like to create drama or wallow in a pity party, which is why I “clean house” when I feel ready.
But I have a small box of stuff containing letters and momentos from someone I dated. We parted ways about a year and a half ago. I thought I felt ready to get rid of the letters but when I started to sort through them, I started to cry. We parted for a good reason (to make a long story short, me being Catholic and him not wanting to marry in the RCC or raise the kids Catholic).
I read a prayer book called Sacred Space and it had a few sentences, related to a different topic, that made me think of this person. The lines were “In the measure that my heart is in past treasures, I am fossilized and dead, for life is only in the present. So to each of these past treasures, I say goodbye, explaining that, grateful though I am that it came into my life, it must move out, or my heart will never learn to love the present.”
I have one special gift from him that I will save forever. It is a decorative box. I ordered a rosary that I will place in that box, to remind me to pray for his conversion, and for the conversion of friends and family. (Not that I need a reminder…)
But as of the rest of the stuff, I am torn… I have moved on and for a long time accepted that our relationship is not meant to be. We do not keep in touch (at my request–I thought it was best for both of us). And I know it would bother me if someone I was seriously dating was hanging on to momentos from his previous girlfriends.
So for those of you single folks out there, when did you ditch your stuff from previous significant others? I know a lot of my married friends did not do this until they got engaged! One friend, just ships boxes to her parents house. She likes saving the items because she says if she has kids, when they have broken hearts, she will pull out the box to remind them that she had more than one “love” before she met her husband.
Did you just throw stuff in the trash? Or have a ritual and burn it? Or just bid it sayonara down the trash shoot?
I would welcome your thoughts. Part of me is tempted to save it, but part of me feels like I should just “rip the bandaid off” and get rid of it now.
Please say a prayer for my old friend. I still pray that one day he will “come home” to the Catholic Church. But i know regardless, our relationship was over a long time ago, and there won`t be future contact.