Men: do you do your fair share of chores around the house?


#1

Do you do dishes, laundry, vacuum, give your kids baths, change diapers, cook, do yard work etc.?

If you’re a married woman, you can answer for your husband :smiley:


#2

Must it be just about husbands and wives? >_>;;
How about grown-up kids who still live with their parents? (And yes, over here that is normal. :p)

And how come providing manual labor for the family business isn’t included? D:


#3

my wife never asked me to change the diapers because she never gagged and i gagged to the point of being ill.

the other stuff, i have done far more than my share but she never came to work and did my job.


#4

My DH goes to school full time and I’m at home full time so naturally more of the cleaning falls to me. He changes as many diapers as I do when he’s home and is a wonderful active father to our little guy. He also does quite a bit of the cooking. On days he is at school until late afternoon or evening I cook but the other 3 days he cooks or we cook together. he also carries the laundry down to our building’s laundry room and back up and scoops the kitty litter because I can’t really do either while pregnant. DH also bathes the little guy most nights and I do the rest of his bed time routine. Since we only have one car and I can’t drive it we usually do the grocery shopping and errands as a family. DH also usually gets up with our little guy every morning so I can sleep in for an hour or so. :smiley:
Because I’m home I do almost all the vacuuming, dishes, floor washing, folding and putting away of laundry etc. DH is not at all naturally inclined to clean, he’s pretty slobby and tends to leave his dirty clothes on the floor, socks in the couch, dishes on the table, food scraps on the counter etc. But being a bit slobby is pretty much the worst thing I can say about DH so I try and put up with it. (or at least I know I should! Sometimes my temper gets the better of me and I definitely need to work on it!) He is so loving and caring and sweet and patient. He never raises his voice to me or our little guy (and that’s certainly more than I can say for myself!) so I think I can deal with dirty socks in the couch :stuck_out_tongue:


#5

I do 90% of the cooking and cleaning, as I get of work earlier than my wife. I do all the yard work/snow removal. I get up early before work to feed the 7 month old so that my wife can sleep in. We both work full time.


#6

I’m a SAH, Homeschooling, Mom so most of the house work, chores, educating the children, fall on my shoulders. However my husband is a wonderful help around the house. He’ll do laundry, dishes, run the vacuum, or anything that needs to be done around the house on the weekend to help MAINTAIN it. The only thing that he does daily is take out the trash and feed the dog. Oh and he does mow and remove the snow outside as needed. In my opinion that IS if fair share seeing he does work outside the home as well.


#7

My husband and I have agreed with the presupposition that ‘the moment you start keeping score, somebody’s got to lose’ so we do not discuss who does what. He and I both work hard during the week, he at his full-time engineering job and me at home with the children. On the weekends, if we see a job needing to be done, we do it together. That way, we get plenty of nice companionship and partnership time and nobody’s efforts get evaluated and put down.
So I am not sure what ‘fair share’ means unless the husband and wife are competing at some level for a false sense of superiority or power in the relationship. Sounds like the fastest way for a marriage to dissolve into a power struggle to me.


#8

FAIR SHARE, in my opinion is NOT tit for tat. I personally know a SAHM that will NOT do any house work unless her husband does some too. If she’s going to be cleaning then he has to be cleaning too. So if she’s going to be washing dishes then he should be running the vacuum and straighting up the coffee table. If she’s scrubbing the toilet then he better be mopping the floors. Or things of that nature. It doesn’t matter to her that she was home all day and that he worked 12 hours. If the house work is going to be done then he’s got to do it too at the same time. If he doesn’t do it then she won’t do it.

Seeing I stay home, OUR FAIR SHARE is naturally that I do 90% of the house work or make sure that 90% of it is done via the kids and I. My kids do a lot of chores they both have been known to scrub toilet, wash laundry, fold clothing, vacuum, sweep, whip out the bathroom sink, in addition to keeping their rooms clean and beds made. I look at it as I’m the manager of the home and I have to be sure EVERYONE does their part to help insure our home run smooth like all good managers do.

This does NOT mean I boss my husband around or micro manage what he does. It’s just in this natural order of things we have found what works for us. On the weekend (or on his days off) he will pitch in and do the DAILY chores around the house to help insure that our house is maintain and not fall apart over the weekend.

For use daily chores is 1-2 loads of laundry, dishes, wiping down the toilet and bath room sink, pushing a vacuum, and general clean up. (General clean up: straighting up this or that, putting things away, making beds, wiping down table and counters as needed). Those things really only take us 30 some minutes a day to do (If even) when we ALL, DH, kids, and I pitch in.


#9

Mommyof02green -
I am hoping that the ALLCAPS typing in your response to my post does not mean that I offended you in some way, especially since I am not sure what objection you might have had to my post. Your approach sounds very similar to mine, as well as your objections to some distorted attitudes about tit for tat and sahm status.
Anyway, the ALLCAPS made it seem like you were upset, so if I offended you then I am sorry. I was just trying to make the point the the scorekeeping type poll might encourage spouses to become indignant or disgruntled for no reasons that have little to do with their own relationship.


#10

Mommyof02green -
I think I see the misunderstanding here. My original response was directly to flyingfish and the poll, and I had not even read your earlier post. I did not in any way direct my comments to you as a fellow SAHM! So please do not misunderstand my comments as deriding your post. I can see how that might have happened now, and I wanted to clear up the confusion. Anyway, kudos to you and your husband for working together in a way that makes you both happy and trains up your children in responsibility and independence. :thumbsup:


#11

When I sah I figured fair share meant we both work during the day: me at home with the kids, and him at work. Then when he got home, we both CONTINUED working on whatever needed to be done, be it the laundry, vacuuming, etc. I did not spend my entire day doing housework. As a sah I figured my day was also meant to spend quality time with my children, teaching them, taking them places, etc.

Now that we both work, we both do our day jobs during the day and clean at night and on weekends.


#12

In our marriage we have both worked, one worked while one stayed home and vice versa. We both do what needs to be done when it needs to be done.


#13

[quote="kage_ar, post:12, topic:186909"]
In our marriage we have both worked, one worked while one stayed home and vice versa. We both do what needs to be done when it needs to be done.

[/quote]

*Yep, this is us, too. When I was a SAHM, I did most of the cooking, cleaning, etc. Now that I work fulltime, we do it when it needs to be done. *


#14

My wife is a SAHM although she homeschools the kids, which really is like working from home full time. I do what I’m allowed to do after dinner and on the weekends (dishes, put away laundry, vacuum, bathrooms, yard work). I do some cooking, mainly grilling.


#15

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