I am shocked after reading the previous threads in the forum. I assume a great number of you are Catholic too. Do men really need to masturbate? What will happen if you dont. Is this a must? Do you have to do it because you saw a pretty girl, or are you thinking of your wives? Where is your family when this goes on? Is this part of your daily routine or is this rare. I didnt think my husband would do this until I read the threads from other Catholic men. Also, do your wives know?
i’ve been a man my whole life, and let me explain the people who say masturbation is a must.
somewhere in their english classes they’ve mislearned the definitions and usages between the words "must’ and ‘want’.
when they say "men must’ what they mean is ‘men want’ - not grasping that unless they are mentally unstable OR have the IQ of a garden squash, they ARE capable of controlling themselves, but they masturbate because they WANT to.
anything else to additionally explain the action is fluff and filler and lots of words. the heart of the matter is they need to learn to control themselves. there is no 'i HAVE to do this." - if any man states differently i’ll call him a liar to his face. if he admits he does it because he ‘wants’ to. at least he’s being honest.
It’s not true. It is true that there are certain buildups of proteins and hormones, but the body eventually jettisons them with what’s called a nocturnal emission or “wet dream”, during sleep.
A lot of the people who think men have to masturbate may have been taught that. All manner of lies circulate in the sex-ed classes of the world.
I agree that masturbation is a want, much more than a must, or a need, because if for some reason, one didn’t do it, no harm would come.
Maybe a bit of inconvenience, but there is no harm in the idea of not masturbating.
I also don’t think that masturbation is high on the list of no-no’s that one can perform. That is, knowing that your husband had masturbated should not send you into a bar late at night to drink away the blues from uncovering that fact.
I don’t think that men NEED sexual releases, any more than women do. Sex is meant as a way to bond with your spouse, and to help you to create progeny. Sadly, we live in a society (America), where many think that men can’t control their sexual urges (yes they can. Put them in a room with homely women, or even beautiful women that are really annoying to them, and you’ll see). There are those that believe that men must cheat on their wives, and if not with another woman, it would have to be through masturbation.
Which brings another tangent to my ‘rant’: I don’t believe that masturbation is a form or infidelity to one’s spouse.
Animals masturbate. Children masturbate. People masturbate while sleeping (nocturnal emissions and wet dreams).
Some people masturbate that have a plentiful sex life. Some masturbate that don’t otherwise have sexual intercourse. It’s like saying that one doesn’t eat a healthy diet because they have potato chips.
No, men don’t Must Masturbate. Not any more than women do.
Marybee, I would hope that if you were to learn that your husband had ‘self-pleasured’, you wouldn’t take it as some personal insult, or think it meant an end to your otherwise loving relationship, either.
Just a thought.
I’m a 20 year old guy who has never masturbated. I’m sure I’m not the only one.
No, men don’t have to masturbate. However, for men who have masturbated, it can be addictive. So, it’s similar to a smoker who ‘needs’ a cigarette. His desire for a cigarette is much greater than a non-smoker’s desire, and also, he will be suffering if he can’t have one. This doesn’t mean that he can’t possibly go without one, but it is something between a need and an ordinary want. Similarly, a man who masturbates should have the fortitude to quit - but of course it is difficult for him.
Actually, the body just flushes out that stuff naturally. Most men don’t even have nocturnal emissions in adulthood. I don’t really–I’m 23–and I never really did as a teenager that I can remember.
If one does not consciously understand and believe that masturbation is immoral, it’s very difficult for a man not to, especially when no one is around. It’s like stealing from a convenient store that’s been abandoned.
And of course most will concede that men are more driven toward the carnal side of sex than women, which can be satisfied–at least in the short-term–with some porn and a lubricant.
To understand how a lot of men feel about it, at least for a woman to understand, think of having a chocolate bar or something but being on a diet. It’s kind of like that. For a better comparison, let’s make it a sin. Let’s say you agreed with your husband to go on a diet together and he’s not around. And you really love chocolate. Well, if no one’s around and he’ll never find out about it, it’s really easy to convince yourself that there’s no harm in eating a little chocolate. Let’s say you break off a little piece and eat, and before you know it you’ve eaten a whole piece, so you just figure “Well, I might as well eat it now.” Well, now imagine a guy sitting home alone and he gets the urge to look at some porn. So then he gets aroused and puts his hand in his pants… You get the idea.
Also, I agree with the guy who said it’s addictive and you’d have to be an addict to truly understand. And of course people who smoke will try to come up with all manner of garbage about how it’s not that bad for them, and they don’t have a genetic predisposition toward cancer, and they don’t smoke that much, and everyone smokes, etc. etc. When we all know it’s just flat-out bad for them.
Masturbation is always accompanied by lustful thoughts and Jesus said that willful lustful thoughts are essentially equivalent to adultery.
Not if those thoughts are of your own wife.
It doesn’t matter whether it is accompanied lustful thoughts. As an act it is analgous to eating food and then forcing yourself to vomit it back up again: a perversion of the way the human body is intended to be used. In both their structure and biological function, the sexual organs are designed for sexual intercourse, a man with a woman. (Note that “intercourse” can also be used to refer to communication between people, and that “communication” shares a root with “union”)
If the argument from design isn’t sufficient, consider that marriage is given as an analogy of Christ’s relationship with His Bride, the Church. In its proper context, as an expression of married love, this act symbolizes the total-self giving of Christ for His Bride (and that we are called to respond in kind).
What symbolism does masturbation have?
There is so much wrapped up in this question. Do most men masturbate…yes (those that don’t are likely fibbing or impotent). Does your husband…probably. I did not watch Roseanne Barr’s show but a couple of times and that was the subject of a rather true episode.
However, as pointed out is this a “must” or “desire”. It is more desire. Men being highly sexual (on average) and having far more sexual thoughts on average than women (for most men many times a day). The problem is that lustful thoughts and desires lead to arousal which leads to…
An issue in all of this is whether it is necessary. I would say no. We are called to control our desires and they should be directed in the right direction. Dr. James Dobson points out the difference between the natural inclination of men to notice beautiful women and allowing oneself to dwell on it, run scenarios over in one’s mind and so on. One happens, the other is something you allow to happen. It is probably a tricky area of our internal life because no one else sees it (except God). It is an area that the bible calls on us to control and to renew. If we could only see the interior life of all around us we would be shocked.
Our sexual desire should be towards our spouses. That is a natural and God given gift within the bounds of marriage. Masturbation resulting in lustful thoughts about the neighbor and illicit sexual fantasies are wrong.
For many of us, yes, everyday, though we are catholic. It it a very powerful urge, especially when under stress, and arroused. Most men are NOT thinking of their wives, but of other women, according to what I have been told, I personally am a single guy in his early 30’s. If one does not do it, the urge becomes stronger, and many flirt more etc. It keeps the libido down kind of. It is wrong, but many of us struggle with this kind of addiction I guess.:o
I believe there is a quote i can take from the bible against doing so…Although im not tottaly remembering what it was exactly i knew it had something to do with men not spilling there seed… anyone might know what im talking about?
that quote was when it was thought that the woman played no part in childbirth other than an incubator. Therefore it was seen as wrong to spill your seed if you were a man. It does not apply today. There are other arguments to why masterbation is wrong but that is not one of them. I masterbatte knowing it is wrong but if I ever meet someone who is a chaste practicing Catholic, then I would have to stop since it would not be fair or right not to. For now, I will take my chances in doing this sin since I don’t think it is a mortal one and neither do most priests.
Well i havent started masturbating until about a month ago. I didnt get aroused by some girl i just wanted to try it so i did it with my pants on i have masturbated a few times since then and most the time i dont even think about the opposite sex when i do it.
Now this is a great misconception if I ever heard one. if you have ever read the series of discourses now known as the Theology of the Body by John Paul II he clarifies this very point.
It is possible to lust after one’s wife and it is wrong. If you read the quote from Jesus carefully regarding lust you will see that the Holy Father is very right in what he says. I will quote here from Christopher West’s Theology of the Body for Beginners.
**"It is very significant that Christ refers to looking lustfully at a woman in the generic sense. He doesn’t stress that it is someone other than a spouse. As JPII observes, a man commits adultery in his heart not only by looking lustfully at a woman he isn’t married to, “but precisely because he looks at a woman in this way”. Even if he looked in this way at his wife, he could likewise commit adultery in his heart.
Marraige does not justufy lust. It does not make using your spouse ok. Why do you think there are so many “hadaches” around the world in the marriage bed? If a woman is being used by her husband it is totally understandable for her to recoil.
The sexual embrace is meant to image and express divine love. Anything less is a counterfeit that not only fails to satisfy, but wounds us terribly."**
Christopher West “Theology of the Body for Beginners” p33.
You can have lustful thoughts of your wife as well.
Why would you take your chances with something like sin?? And even if it isn’t a mortal sin, why would you intentionally choose to do something that is a sin at all? Don’t you know that when you sin – any kind of sin – you are offending God and treating his love with a certain amount of contempt? He became man and died on the cross to set us free from sin!
Besides which, the Catechism rather plainly identifies masturbation as a grave (very serious) sin.
simple, I have many addictions, especially when things are not going well, and I am not going to rant about that here, one of them which is gambling so I will stay consistent and roll the dice that it is a venial sin or that my culpability is not all there. If I am wrong, then the numerous priests who teach otherwise will be far more to blame than me
When I was convicted to stop masturbating about 14 months ago, I was discouraged at being told that, for one thing, lust would beild inside of me the the point that I could not avoid lusting after another person, ans also, that I would simply be unable to stop because guys “need” to relieve sexual tension. Neither happened. I was lied to. I havn’t masturbated in 13 months, and I’m no longer really tempted to.
Don’t lose hope, stopping is very much worth it.
So if someone for example is a good catholic in all areas except that of the mortal sin of masturbation, they’ll still go to hell if not confessed? Even if they do all kinds of work for the church and parish life and lead good moral lives (apart from the masturbation obviously)
A little harsh, no? :eek: If this is the case why not turn into some axe-wielding mass murder and still end up in hell? And throw in some other sins too, why not?