So, when does a guy not “getting it” go too far?
My dh as never been romantic, sympathetic or very understanding. Earlier this year he was diagnosed w/ anxiety/ depression, so that explains some things.
However, he does things that he thinks are perfectly normal, that I think are beyond not getting it. At my dad’s informal memorial service (more like a picnic - long story) my dh ignored me and hung out with my brothers. When I said something later, his reply was, “I’m sorry, but I haven’t seen your brothers for a long time.” Can a guy really be that clueless? To justify ignoring his spouse after her father’s death? I’m convinced he was not trying to be mean, he just didn’t know how to act.
He very frequently (almost every night) critiques the meals I fix and thinks I should just put up with it. He frequently corrects how I do things, but refuses to do them himself. At his company X-mas party he left me standing at the bar waiting for my drink. He got his drink and walked off. (a co-worker was there and chimed in nicely, “Did X just leave you here? I’ll wait and walk you back to the table.”)
Sadly, he gets angry or irritated if I mention these things. I really do try to be charitable if I bring it up. I even say, "It hurts my feelings when . . . " A common reply, is that I shouldn’t feel that way. :shrug:
So, how come some guys know how to treat a lady and others don’t? Is it learned, as in something his parents should have taught him but never did? Is it something we pick up by watching others but he’s never picked up on that? —KCT