I have a hard time with depression and am under a doctor’s care. It can come and go, sometimes for a few days, sometimes for months at a time. When depressed, I just don’t have the energy to get up and go. I’ll procrastinate going to the store and get my neighbor to go for me. I’ll stop cleaning the house. I call in sick to stay home from work, and stay in bed. I’ll miss my classes at school.
The long and short of it is that although I’d like to be the kind of Catholic that faithfully attends Mass every Sunday, I don’t. I often want to go to confession, but you have to sincerely commit to changing your behavior, and I know I will continue to miss Mass. There are days when I do feel up to going to Mass, but I then I realize I can’t receive Eucharist, so why bother – I can watch Mass on EWTN.
The thing is, although I feel the Church condemns me, I don’t feel that God does. I know he understands. The day will come that I’ll return to regular attendance. Am I REALLY sinning?