Mental Illness is affecting my Spiritual Life


#1

Hello,:confused:
I have Bipolar Disease and it is affecting my spiritual life because I can't tell if the thoughts I have are from me, God, or the evil one. I can't tell if the drugs make me too tired and groggy to get up and make it to Daily Mass, or if I'm exhausted from Consecrating myself thru the Louis De Montfort 33 day Consecration, or if Satan is messing with me since I have recently Consecrated myself. I don't want to go Daily Mass because I think the regulars think I'm a flake, because I am inconsistent in my attendance. I don't show up or do anything on a regular basis. I've been asked to sign-up for a Holy Hour of Adoration but I've tried three times and I never can keep my commitment because of depression or a manic fit! My husband has a more relaxed relationship with the Church, he is very comfortable with Daily Bible reading, monthly confession, Grace at mealtimes, Sunday Mass, Family Prayers at night and the Family Rosary on the weekend. I really wish I could be like him! I get all manic and worry about Daily Mass (should I go since I can), headcoverings, do I have to wear dresses all the time, Daily Rosary, Daily Consecration prayers, etc. I get all wound-up and make myself and others around me nuts. How can I tell God's inclinations from my nutty brain, from satan? This ties in with a question I had earlier about feeling like a failure as a Catholic if I can't "do-it-all". Any and all help will be greatly appreciated.:shrug:
:blessyou:


#2

[quote="consecrated_one, post:1, topic:182846"]
Hello,:confused:
I have Bipolar Disease and it is affecting my spiritual life because I can't tell if the thoughts I have are from me, God, or the evil one. I can't tell if the drugs make me too tired and groggy to get up and make it to Daily Mass, or if I'm exhausted from Consecrating myself thru the Louis De Montfort 33 day Consecration, or if Satan is messing with me since I have recently Consecrated myself. I don't want to go Daily Mass because I think the regulars think I'm a flake, because I am inconsistent in my attendance. I don't show up or do anything on a regular basis. I've been asked to sign-up for a Holy Hour of Adoration but I've tried three times and I never can keep my commitment because of depression or a manic fit! My husband has a more relaxed relationship with the Church, he is very comfortable with Daily Bible reading, monthly confession, Grace at mealtimes, Sunday Mass, Family Prayers at night and the Family Rosary on the weekend. I really wish I could be like him! I get all manic and worry about Daily Mass (should I go since I can), headcoverings, do I have to wear dresses all the time, Daily Rosary, Daily Consecration prayers, etc. I get all wound-up and make myself and others around me nuts. How can I tell God's inclinations from my nutty brain, from satan? This ties in with a question I had earlier about feeling like a failure as a Catholic if I can't "do-it-all". Any and all help will be greatly appreciated.:shrug:
:blessyou:

[/quote]

Before respond I want to mention that I have a degree in Catholic Theology from Franciscan University of Steubenville...I mention this so you can have some reason to trust what I say.

Relax. Do not add scruples to the cross you already have :)

No one is obligated (unless they make an actual vow! which I would not advise in this matter and one would know they had made...so no worries there either) to go to daily Mass.....

or to have to wear dresses all the time or pray the rosary ...or other prayers and certainly not to wear headcoverings (unless you are sister and you have to wear your habit)

Get yourself out of the commitment for adoration --just contact the person in charge and say simply you can not do it right now. no need to give why.

also you may want to forgo the de Monfort consecration for now --- it can be too much for one with your crosses right now...rather be simple. say simply -- Mary I entrust myself to you -help me live as a faithful disciple of Jesus. Jesus I love you and I trust you.

UNWIND yourself. do what you have to do regarding your illness ...see your doctor etc take your medication etc....

Forget the the 'the thoughts' you are having -- they can be part of your difficulty and GOD knows all about your difficulty and thus i think he will not be using that extraordinary method with you. and relax.

do not act on your mania....rather check things out with your husband and doctor.

i have know persons with this difficulty -- you want to make sure you keep them in the loop

of course stick with the what the Church teaches....

set ASIDE your worries that you mentioned and just look with love at Jesus ..and think of him as the Good Shepherd....and you the sheep ....

be simple -- pray, love ...pray "Jesus I love you" in a relaxed way when you desire


#3

Go to Mass daily if that's what you want to do. Go because you want to and don't worry about others. If you go once in a while and then go every day for a while and drop back to once in a while again--that's fine! Nothing says you have to go to daily Mass every single day all the time or you're flaky. Daily mass is great whenever you can get there, but go for YOU and for your relationship with God. Focus on the Eucharist and not anybody else who is there.

It sounds like you get overwhelmed if you try to do too much. I would suggest you find one thing at a time to focus on, like just daily Mass or just the rosary every day. Pick one thing that you want most to do. When you are in a comfortable routine with that, add something else if you feel up to it. Maybe that way you will get to the consistency you seem to want and get the nourishment you crave without the stress.

Don't worry so much about others--do what seems to be best for you. Does it help to set goals and plan out how you want to reach those? (Don't do that if it will just add to the stress!)

Remember that God loves you and he knows you love Him, too. Some days you might be able to do more than others. Maybe it will help to think in terms of whatever you can do is a bonus. Got to Mass today? Bonus! Said a rosary? Bonus! Read scripture for 30 minutes? Bonus! etc... Don't think you have failed if today wasn't the day for all of that. Only said the rosary but nothing else? Still a bonus! Try to put what you can do each day in a positive light without any negative creeping in. God still knows you love Him on days you just can't do everything.... He knows where your heart is. God is the one you need to please, not anyone else, and He is very happy with you all the time!


#4

[quote="consecrated_one, post:1, topic:182846"]
Hello,:confused:
I have Bipolar Disease and it is affecting my spiritual life because I can't tell if the thoughts I have are from me, God, or the evil one. I can't tell if the drugs make me too tired and groggy to get up and make it to Daily Mass, or if I'm exhausted from Consecrating myself thru the Louis De Montfort 33 day Consecration, or if Satan is messing with me since I have recently Consecrated myself. I don't want to go Daily Mass because I think the regulars think I'm a flake, because I am inconsistent in my attendance. I don't show up or do anything on a regular basis. I've been asked to sign-up for a Holy Hour of Adoration but I've tried three times and I never can keep my commitment because of depression or a manic fit! My husband has a more relaxed relationship with the Church, he is very comfortable with Daily Bible reading, monthly confession, Grace at mealtimes, Sunday Mass, Family Prayers at night and the Family Rosary on the weekend. I really wish I could be like him! I get all manic and worry about Daily Mass (should I go since I can), headcoverings, do I have to wear dresses all the time, Daily Rosary, Daily Consecration prayers, etc. I get all wound-up and make myself and others around me nuts. How can I tell God's inclinations from my nutty brain, from satan? This ties in with a question I had earlier about feeling like a failure as a Catholic if I can't "do-it-all". Any and all help will be greatly appreciated.:shrug:
:blessyou:

[/quote]

PS if you have to drive to daily Mass..make sure you are not too tired to drive etc. Of course do not stop the meds..but if you are too tired stay home and rest.


#5

Hello and God Bless you both:)
You have helped calm my spiritual heart but also my nerves. You both are like a deep breath of fresh air. I needed what you had to say so much that I have printed it off and will be going over it with my husband so we can get me more undercontrol and focused and not so out of control and panicy. Thank you for renewing my faith a bit. I'm not a failure, I just need a bit of help and exellent suggestions.:thumbsup:
:blessyou:BOTH!


#6

Go to a Priest.


#7

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