mental illness

I am being plagued by really serious mental illness, I don’t know who to go for help.
I can’t stop thinking something, something personal. This is getting in my way of my work, my social life (or whatever’s left of it). I feel guilty for my failures in the past, I can’t stop thinking about them and everyday I spend most of my time thinking about them.

I really wish I’m dead now, I am 21 a graduated from college, currently have a job, but I can’t see myself living another day. I dreamt of a family, a happy life, doing the job that I enjoy while helping other people.

But now I am hideous, single, no hope for a family, had a terrible childhood,and having this mental illness feel like I am hideous not just on the outside but in the inside, I am not doing the job I want and I’m not helping people actively, I donate whenever I can but I feel like I’m only doing it out of asking pity from God.

I found something that was really dear to me couple months ago, I tried really hard to protect it but I still managed to ruin it, I thought it was going to help me through the rest of my life but I managed to ruin it, which added a heavy weight to my OCD, anxiety and depression.

I can’t see myself living anymore, I don’t know if I will be going to heaven or hell after I die, or if there is even a god, but I don’t know what else I can do. There isn’t a day go by I wish I can kill myself, the only thing keeping me from doing it is the fear of the pain. As I say I don’t even know if I believe in a God, but somehow I feel like someone knowing about my issue would help me mentally.

I don’t wanna die, I want to live a good live, please keep me in your prayers and instruct me if you guys are aware of any first steps I can take that can resolve this issue.

thank you you all.

I had severe “bipolar” disorder and it took my career and at times my hope, but the Lord has seen my healing through and I’m working to try to regain a career late in life.

Having no hope was related to my mind constantly running scenarios of how things pan out in the future, none of which are acceptable. My best friends and my shrink all told me that despite what I firmly believed, things would get better. I knew it was just because they “didn’t understand” and that if they knew what I knew they would see I was doomed.

Turns out they were right. It did get better. I am now working on a degree in psychology so that especially combined with some knowledge of spirituality and mysticism, I can use it to help others find healing where medicine typically says “we can only hope.”

It’s not totally unusual for a 21. Year old to feel the way you do,
Just imagine yourself as a racing car driver, you read all the books, past all the tests,
Checked out all the various racing cars,you know everything about racing car mechanics ,
All about tyres and tyre wear & tear,all about racing tactics,
But there is only one problem,
You have never driven a race car,never sat behind the wheel,
How do you think you would feel ?
When your expected to race like a world champion ,
I think you would feel the way you do now,
You would be surrounded by people with high expectations,
You your self would as well,
Just take a big breath,relax, and tell yourself you know you will stumble,
Just as you would when you get behind that racing car wheel,
You will get bumps and scratches, but we all do that, we all stumble…
Don’t feel bad, when you fall,just get back up and try again,
Your an educated young man, grab your future ,and don’t let a little thing like a mental issue hold you back,see it like nothing more than a few bumps in the road,
Seize the moment,

Wow! You are blessed with a good job! What great accomplishments you have made in spite of all the challenges. I know that God has been walking with you through this all. In our lives, God gives us all we need and he takes away what is harmful to us. We are always happy on the receiving end. But what about when suddenly our world is turned upside down? God knows what is best for us better than we know it ourselves. He gives us the ability to cope with and get through any difficulty we are facing. We just have to place our trust in Him. We have to seek His will and let go of our own plans. In years ahead, you will look back at this trial and see the good in it. Persevere and accept His will for you. God, who gave you life, wants you to be happy. He alone can see the whole picture. Give yourself credit for using the talents God has given you. It is true, there is sunshine after the rain. Look for the sun. Keeping you in prayer for peace. God bless.

To put it bluntly, you sound confused. Too many thoughts and unending negative input from within your environment. Given what is confusing you, I can assure you that you’re quite normal. My suggestion is to see a psychiatrist and/or psychologist ASAP.

But remember that the true answer is God, and not human beings. The goal is to fill your mind with the graces given from God. Choose Divine LOVE and you can’t lose. Calm your mind with thoughts of God. Ask: “What does God want from me?” Seek to please Him, and Him alone.

LOVE! :heart:

:frowning: Have you seen your GP? That is often a good place to start.

I agree that your GP is the best place to start. In the meantime if you are looking for a common experience to help you understand then try forums that deal specifically with mental health issues. A religious forum is perhaps the last place you should be turning to. Many religious experiences turn out to be manifestations of particular illnesses. Schizophrenia, for example, often has a strong religious element to it.

Best wishes, and good luck.
Padster

I think you suffer from what many young people your age have: too many opportunities! too many options! Wanting too much too soon!

You are 21 and college graduate with a job!!!

While what you are feeling may or may not point to mental illness, a good cure for melancholy, whether pathological or just “feelings” is to get out of your own head. Find someone who needs what you have to give: teach someone to read, give to the poor, volunteer at a crisis pregnancy center. In other words: give give give of yourself.

You MAY indeed have a mental illness. Then again, you may just have delayed teen angst, and there is nothing like giving to someone worse off than you to pull yourself into reality. Very many young people are extremely disappointed with life when they realize that they are no longer in college mode, that rent must be paid (even if they have the money to pay it), that transportation is not paid for by mom and dad, that dishes don’t wash themselves, that friends who were life-long, the bestest of buddies, now live 3000 miles away and are married with no time to talk.

Harsh? probably. But I would definitely do that before running off to some shrink who will fill your body with chemicals, or “analyze” you.

And, most importantly, get yourself to DAILY mass and weekly confession.

It may be that you need the help of a counselor of some sort as you mention OCD, but on a spiritual level, these responses have helped me.

Whenever I have recurring thoughts, I treat them as temptations and pray to Christ, Mary, St Michael the Archangel, and any other saints who might help, including my Guardian Angel, until it goes away. If it comes back, I repeat.

I really wish I’m dead now, I am 21 a graduated from college, currently have a job, but I can’t see myself living another day. I dreamt of a family, a happy life, doing the job that I enjoy while helping other people.

I read an article the other day and the man said that we are raising our children to get into college. We are not preparing them to be adults in the wider world. And I agree! There is so much going on related to getting into college that we parents forget about adulthood! (mom of 4 here). You are 21, just starting out. Thank God fir every good thing in your life *and for the bad things! *The tough things in life are there to help us grow in holiness–ask God to show you how to use them for that purpose.

But now I am hideous, single, no hope for a family, had a terrible childhood,and having this mental illness feel like I am hideous not just on the outside but in the inside, I am not doing the job I want and I’m not helping people actively, I donate whenever I can but I feel like I’m only doing it out of asking pity from God.

Keep thanking God… even for your illness.

I found something that was really dear to me couple months ago, I tried really hard to protect it but I still managed to ruin it, I thought it was going to help me through the rest of my life but I managed to ruin it, which added a heavy weight to my OCD, anxiety and depression.

Who can deal with yoru illness? Only you. Another human person cannot do it for you–they are to accompany you in life, not act as your crutch. Rely on God more than even yourself to help you grow in virtue.

I can’t see myself living anymore, I don’t know if I will be going to heaven or hell after I die, or if there is even a god, but I don’t know what else I can do. There isn’t a day go by I wish I can kill myself, the only thing keeping me from doing it is the fear of the pain. As I say I don’t even know if I believe in a God, but somehow I feel like someone knowing about my issue would help me mentally.

You should definitely be in touch with someone in real life about suicidal ideas. If you don’t know where to go about this, ask your priest or Catholic Charities.

I don’t wanna die, I want to live a good live, please keep me in your prayers and instruct me if you guys are aware of any first steps I can take that can resolve this issue.

You can get hints from here, but you seem to need more than what a person can get online. You might even need medication to help calm your mind while you learn to do what you need to do to get better. Please go see someone in real life who will be able to help you.

thank you you all.

St Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our safeguard against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God, cast into Hell Satan and all the evil spirits who prowl through the world seeming the ruin of souls. Amen

Praying to St. Dymphna for your health & recovery.

Perhaps I have understated I say I have thoughts that can’t get out of my head.

I have always had struggled with OCD since young age, I would often time need to force myself to think about very trivial matter that I need to think about, but don’t want to.

For instance, I need to remember what I saw 3 seconds ago for no reason, if I can’t do it, I will “forgive” myself and allow myself to redeem by remembering what I saw in the “current” 3 second ago…and so the loop goes on.

This has gotten into my social life, my work, I will get freeze up in the street and wonder for half an hour thinking about these loops before I have the strength to go home. I can’t stop these compulsive thoughts and if I try it will feel like an itch that I need to scratch really bad.

However I have noticed that since work started this problem has became severe, perhaps you are right it is something that happens to everyone, so either I am being a panzy or that I have mental illness, either way I don’t feel like I should be suicidal, but I do.

Stop what you are doing and get to the nearest emergency room. Tell the doctors there just what you’ve said in your post above. The doctors will help you.

I am praying for you.

No, not everybody has OCD. The point I was trying to make is that you are normal given you are suffering from OCD.

The point I would like to suggest (please correct me if I’m wrong) is that given your OCD many of your thoughts have become knotted, twisted and tangled in what appears to you to be an unlivable life. This too you should consider ‘normal’ given your current state of mind. The good news is that it’s treatable with therapy and maybe some medication. I may be incorrect here to, but it seems that you need someone to reflect off of, like a good therapist who can help untangle the web of confused thoughts that you are currently under due to your OCD. Do seek help, first from a licensed therapist, then from Christ from within who can transform any mental illness into a great spiritual strength.

I do know first-hand what a web of tangled thoughts is like. I have been suicidal most of my life with severe major depression, panic attacks and anxiety.

Keep reaching out for help and be prudent choosing those who you think can help you.

LOVE! :heart:

It is dangerous to give medical advice when you know nothing more than one thread about a person.

Most mental illness patients will tell you that unless there is an immediate threat of imminent danger, going to an emergency room doctor can make the situation much worse. Especially if they do not have insurance, in which case that adds a whole new set of stress elements to what they were already facing.

By the time you posted your reply, over 16 hours had elapsed so if it were of that urgent a nature it might have been too late. If it isn’t that urgent, then your advice may be likely to do more damage than good.

Suggesting someone sees a doctor is one thing. Saying they must stop everything and do this or that is completely out of place unless you know the situation personally and are qualified to make that determination.

Please do not give medical advice over the Internet unless you are qualified.

And where did you go to medical school, Mystical Seeker? Where are you licensed to practice medicine?

The OP wrote “I really wish I’m dead now.” How dare you suggest that I did anything inappropriate by urging this person to immediately speak with a medical doctor.

I am licensed to practice medicine the same place you are. Nowhere. That’s why I know you are not qualified to tell someone based on one post that they must go immediately to an ER. Maybe that’s a good idea, maybe not.

As I pointed out with regard to ER not always being the best option, is based on my own experience with myself and other patients, and my own psychiatrist agrees that the ER is a “last resort” option in many cases.

Maybe you should have suggested the person call a suicide hotline instead and let trained counselors suggest what to do, including calling 911 or going to ER if this particular case warrants it? With Google, in 10 seconds I found the number for the national suicide prevention lifeline; you can call to talk to a trained counselor at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). That’s something the OP could have done without even needing to find transportation.

What if a person would have called a hotline but would be too intimidated to go to an ER? Maybe your advice would have a chilling effect? Again we do not know and we are not qualified to give medical advice over the Internet. If you want to turn it into a spitting match, I’ll report your post where you gave medical advice and let the mods handle it, and wash my hands of it. They may let it go, but I somehow doubt their legal staff would like posters telling each other what medical treatment to seek. I will let it go when you quit justifying yourself for giving advice you are not qualified to give.

Besides as I mentioned if it were that urgent that “immediately” was apropos, note that your advice would have been 16 hours late.

I could see myself in your post. That was
many years ago. I was a young mother of 3 in a very unhappy marriage. One Sunday
morning, I took a bottle of sleeping pills and swallowed half a bottle of scotch and passed out.
My family found me and I went to the ER of a local hospital where I was then transferred to the
Psych ward. I spent 3 months in rehab. My psychiatrist at the time asked me why I wanted to
die and I told him because I had nothing to live for. He told me that Jesus wants HIS children
to be happy and he would help me get that way. It has not been easy because I have clinical
depression and I fight it every day. YOU need to FIGHT every day too. Death is NOT the
answer. It is the coward’s way to commit suicide. I have learned many things in the 40 years
since my attempt to end my life. Our life is a gift. What we do with that gift is ours alone. We
can do good or we can waste it. Wallowing in self-pity never did anyone any good. Look
around you. There MUST be something or someone you want to live for. Stop it!!! Go and
enjoy your life. Thank your Heavenly Father for what HE has given you and get on with your
life.
Remember you are loved,
Alex ( I am a 72 year old mother of 5)

Shut up, you drama queen. Someone wrote that they were suicidal. That person needs to see a doctor immediately. You are an idiot to suggest otherwise.

You don’t get it. I’m neither suggesting they should or should not. You cannot tell the OP what to do about a medical condition.

I am not licensed to practice medicine, but I used to work on a suicide hotline. There are a few cases in which involvement from the ER is a recommended strategy, like in the story by Alex. Most of the time, it is not. There can be serious consequences for a person once they have been on “suicide watch” even a single time, that exacerbate the situation. Crisis intervention is more than just dialing 911 or there wouldn’t be hotlines.

MS

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