Mentioning divorce in argument?


#1

All, I found out from my sister that my stepdad asked my mother if she wanted a divorce during an argument. My mother has not mentioned this to me yet, but she sees my mom every day.

Does this mean that he is thinking about it? Evidently it's not the first time that he's mentioned it. Now, I'm not sure how often this has happened or how long has it been since he said it before.

Since I can't ask anyone, I was wondering whether anyone here has experienced this on either side.


#2

[quote="Sheeniac, post:1, topic:211344"]
My mother has not mentioned this to me yet, but she sees my mom every day.

[/quote]

Well, when you get your story straight, maybe I'll have something to say.


#3

I believe Sheeniac was referring to her sister - this sibling saw her mom and passed on her concerns.

Mentioning divorce in an argument doesn’t necessarily mean the stepfather was thinking about it but maybe because the arguments raised by his wife seemed so strong (perhaps indicating serious dissatisfaction) he could have thought that indeed she wanted one.

Sheeniac, I don’t think it helpful to start worrying about what is in his mind without knowing the details of the argument. I think if someone wants a divorce badly enough they will come right out and say it. Just keep praying for your mom and her husband and be there for her; if she feels she needs to talk to you about it, she will.


#4

[quote="AngelRS, post:3, topic:211344"]

Mentioning divorce in an argument doesn't necessarily mean the stepfather was thinking about it but maybe because the arguments raised by his wife seemed so strong (perhaps indicating serious dissatisfaction) he could have thought that indeed she wanted one.

[/quote]

I was thinking the same thing... Perhaps your mother is making her husband feel worried about her wanting a divorce by the things she is saying to him. Maybe what she is saying is not clear enough, so he is asking for clarification.

That is why it is important for couples to never even throw that out here as a way of hurting the other person or trying to shock them into discussing their situation.. Even if the person saying it does not really mean it-- it's out there and always in the back of the other person's mind. You can't take it back.


#5

[quote="Apollos, post:2, topic:211344"]
Well, when you get your story straight, maybe I'll have something to say.

[/quote]

Apollos - I saw your snarky comments on another thread. If you have nothing to say, try not saying anything.


#6

Thanks all! I called my sister and asked that she let my mother know that she told me. We chatted a bit - my mother thinks he just gets upset and says the first thing that comes to mind.

They’ve been under a tremendous amount of stress lately (job loss, death of my step-dad’s mother, etc) , and things have reached a boiling point. Relations between my step-dad and sister have been emotionally contentious although they both care a lot about each other.

More importantly, my mother has given me her blessings to communicate with my step-dad about his relationship with my sister. This has caused added stress and my mother is “up to here” about it, which is making her a bit short-tempered as well. I truly think that they (sis and step-dad) are both to blame and both are blameless. It comes down to a communication problem. Having gone through cognitive behavioral therapy, it’s pretty easy for me to spot the flaws in my own thinking, and somewhat in others too.


#7

[quote="Sheeniac, post:5, topic:211344"]
Apollos - I saw your snarky comments on another thread. If you have nothing to say, try not saying anything.

[/quote]

Your mother sees your mom every day? Okay :confused: but you got your question answered.


closed #8

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