MERGED: Forced to sing/hold hands during the Our Father

Is this allowed? I’m looking for documentation from Rome or the USCCB that discourages this practice, but I am not finding it. Could someone please provide help.

I’m curious as to what “forced” means in this context? Perhaps it would be helpful if we had a little more to go on. Exactly what happened?

You have to say the prayer out loud and singing our prayers pleases God. You do not have any obligation to hold hands. In my diocese the previous bishop forbade the hand holding but nobody listened to him.

Who is “forcing” you to hold hands at the Our Father? (Close your eyes and fold your hands together - this will prevent anyone from grabbing your hands.)

Singing is encouraged at Mass. Why do you think there are Gregorian Chant settings for all of the Mass prayers? St. Augustine teaches us, to sing is to pray twice. It is a good thing for everyone to do.

The priest specifically states, “hold hands and sing the Our Father”.

In our church, the priest says “we join together in the Lord’s Prayer.” that does not mean that we have to physically hold hands, and some people don’t. If you want to say the prayer instead of singing it, do that.

In a nearby church, many more people do NOT hold hands. This is optional. If it bothers you, try to visit another church that is a little more traditional.

I was forced to hold hands once, too. I was at daily Mass at my parish. I usually cross my hands in front of myself and no one has ever tried to grab my hands. This time, however, a woman standing next to me grabbed my arm. I gave her a look like “Let go of me” but she would quit grabbing me until I gave in and held her hand.

When I go, the priest says something like “Let us all say the prayer the Jesus taught us.”

That’s sort of what I do—except I clasp them in prayer.

Holding hands, not good (the CDWDS has said this), but it is illicit for the celebrant to tell the congregation to do so.

Singing (or in most cases, chanting) the Our Father, very good!

So what is your problem? Get your right hand to hold your left hand and start singing. :wink:


First, give a big, honking sneeze into both your cupped hands. Problem solved. Nobody will “force” you to hold hands.


You’d be surprised how often people who have slugs of mucus dripping from THEIR snoots want to hold YOUR hand.

God forbid we hold hands with our fellow Catholics during the Lord’s Prayer.:rolleyes:

There are many things to worry about in life without this being such a heavy burden.

At my tiny parish we all hold hands.

It isn’t forced, but I don’t see how friendly it would be for some one to reach out for your hand and you refuse.

Sure, its not in the rubrics, nor is it mandated. However, when a person reaches out to shake your hand do you refuse them?

I mean, its just a matter of using common etiquette with the people you’re with. If they hold hands, don’t be rude and fruadulantly cough or sneeze into your hand as a way of refusing. What’s going on in your heart that would lead you to do such a thing?


I believe it starts with small things such as holding hands during the Our Father, but it leads to big things such as stripping the sancutary of statues and removing Jesus from the altar to a broom closet. Before you know it your in a pentecostal, full gospel church and not a Catholic Church.
Say the black and do the red. Nothing more, nothing less.

Well we’ve been holding hands during the Our Father in my parish since I joined it, 26years ago.

We still have the statues and the Tabernacle is still up front in view for all to see.

We also know each other better than it seems people at other parishes know each other.

We’re a small parish of just 400 families, where about 100 come to Mass regularly. So, I see what works here doesn’t at a larger parish where I often visit.

The bottom line is, be charitable about it.


Our parish is small, usually no more than 20 people (incl. priest and server) at Sat. eve. mass. I don’t hold hands, I don’t want to hold hands and I have had people grab my arms and hands, but I still don’t hold hands. Our bishop has asked us to NOT hold hands. A friend who knows how I feel actually shook her hand right in my face when I refused to hold her hand, I had to step out into the aisle to get away from her big hand in my face, I thought she was beyond rude. It’s not a matter of me being rude, I would just rather not do something our bishop has asked us not to do and something which I don’t like to do.

What a wonderful way to treat each other at Mass, eh?


Nothing wrong with the singing part. After all the Pater Noster has been chanted for thousands of years. The Graduale Romanum has different tones to do so in Latin, and some are easily adaptable to the vernacular.

But being forced to hold hands, I agree I don’t like it.

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