I just want to say to everyone that I have read all of your replies. There is some really good feedback on here, thank you. And to think that a stranger would really pray for me means a lot. Thank you again.
I have been in seminary before for a year. I discerned out. They guys I was with in my class, many of them were ordained in June. God bless them.
The one thing I can share with ya’ll with me now is I just try to stay busy. I try to outwork my problems. I often pray the Litury of the Hours (MP EP NP) especially on weekends and I feel like that helps to keep me grounded.
The biggest issue I can tell you I have is identity conflict. I don’t know who I am or who I am supposed to be on this platform. I don’t even know what the platform is.
That’s what I am asking. I have not ruled out going back to seminary or a religious order. It’s a possibility. It is.
In fact I haven’t allowed myself to buy a house because I am still trying to figure it out five years later. It’s been a lonely five years, but there has been growth.
I have no idea what God’s will is for me. I pray to him every day about it. All I know is time is racing by and I’m trying figure out what to do and live my days with Him in mind, but i often find myself dropping the cross. A lot of times it is stress induced that leads to anger, lost battles with internet porn and just getting caught up in the world and the selfishness it offers.
Has this happened to you or sound similar to you? Any help is appreciated very much.