Mildly mixed-religious dating


#1

Here’s the deal: Unexpectedly, I got a reply to something I sent to someone an online dating site that usually never works for me. We meet up, have a drink (non-alcoholic, ahem), and go for a lovely walk. These days, I’m far more cautious in how speedily I take relationships, and I’m very impressed with her buuuut… of course, she’s non-Catholic. But she’s essentially where I was at a few months ago: a broad-church Anglican. So I wonder, even in my skeptical heart, whether she might follow the same path I did to the Church… what do you think?

(In before: “A true Catholic would never…” or “What will your children…?” I don’t even know this girl that well. I’m discerning if our relationship could have a future.)


#2

I’m seeing a lot of “could’s,” “might’s,” “maybe’s” here. You don’t know what she may or may not do.

Honestly, the process of converting actually places you in a vulnerable position, because you’re already opening up yourself to the faith and there is a lot that you need to understand. I went through RCIA myself last year and during that time, made sure that the people I interacted with were respectful to the process, or I just didn’t mention it at all. I guess I can’t really present an example here since I am married, but surrounding yourself with the right people is key here.

I honestly would rather be open to a possible relationship with a Catholic, than with someone who was at the place you used to be. Why? Because there is always the chance that they could lead you away from the Church, and somehow convince you that you were fine just where you were, because that is where they are too. I have seen that happen. There are people who back out of the RCIA program because of these issues. IMO, I think strengthening your faith life and getting more into the process of RCIA is more important than conjecturing about the possible future with someone who is where you used to be.


#3

Ask her. Tell her your conversion story and where you are at religiously. Then ask her about her religious practice and aspirations.


#4

My honest response is to take your name off that dating site. What you are doing right now has to take precedence over this kind of dating situation. I know you are not taking vows or anything but do you really need the further complication and confusion of a new dating situation with anything other than a very strong Catholic? Even that, would add another demand into your life at a time when you need to be aligning yourself and your heart with your new faith. Yes, I see you were Anglican, so at least you know the rites pretty well, but still. Your relationship with God and the Church needs to be placed first in your life.

You asked, that’s my opinion.


#5

If I were you, I'd get to know her a bit better and openly discuss these things if the relationship seems promising. It is better to know early on where you stand.


#6

When you are involved in a major change in your life, why take on more stress? One thing at a time. :grouphug:


#7

[quote="spunjalebi, post:2, topic:225317"]
Honestly, the process of converting actually places you in a vulnerable position, because you're already opening up yourself to the faith and there is a lot that you need to understand. I went through RCIA myself last year and during that time, made sure that the people I interacted with were respectful to the process, or I just didn't mention it at all. I guess I can't really present an example here since I am married, but surrounding yourself with the right people is key here.

[/quote]

I've already converted, essentially. I wasn't able to attend RCIA at all last year, so I've been talking to the priest. He says he'd feel quite confident confirming me, but we'll wait until the Easter Vigil so I can go up with the rest of the confirmands.

[quote="spunjalebi, post:2, topic:225317"]
I honestly would rather be open to a possible relationship with a Catholic, than with someone who was at the place you used to be.

[/quote]

I've tried this--it didn't work. :( I'm in the reddest county in the reddest state... this is Protestant country. I search for Catholics, and I find a nice Anglican... I really don't know what to do except accept what God gives me. If anyone close to my age stayed after Mass at my parish, perhaps I could talk to them... but none of them do. :)

I'm a rather introverted soul, so I'm very grateful when my years of romantic solitude are interrupted, however briefly.


#8

[quote="Jerusha, post:6, topic:225317"]
When you are involved in a major change in your life, why take on more stress? One thing at a time. :grouphug:

[/quote]

I wish I could hold off on my Master's degree too, but I can't turn back time at this point, you know?


#9

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