Oh sweetheart, this just breaks my heart.
I am so sorry, first of all for your loss, second of all for the INSANE amount of insensitivity. One part of your post really hurt me:
“I know you said it hurts you to hear about XX’s pregnancy, but…(insert lengthy detail here about pregnancy).”
Really, it’s time for your husband to step in on this part. Have you spoken to him about this? I am not really that shocked as the women in my family are notorious for this kind of thing. I have an aunt who in acknowledging my miscarriages went on to tell me how PAINFUL it was for others, how much MORE TRAGIC, MORE TERRIBLE, MORE LIFE-IMPACTING on other people than it was for us. :shrug: Sometimes I wonder if she tells my stories in the same light to other’s who share their losses with her? I actually hope so, or convince myself it’s just her way, so it doesn’t hurt so personally bad.
Either way, your IL’s don’t view your child as tangible as they never met him/her as you did. That doesn’t excuse their behavior at all, it just makes sense. Really – wings? Gee, want a beer with a side car while you are at it? That is so beyond crass…I am so sorry!
My grandma (mayor of crazy town) always says things about how a “daughter sticks with you and a son marries off” – I often thought it was “stays with you in craziness” but in your case I could see my own family doing the same, read: my own family saying things to a female in-law about a pregnancy within their little circle. It horrifies me. That’s why we dont hang out with them often. Your in-laws, especially MIL needs a big old slap upside the head of reality!
Do you think she has enough decency that if her own pregnant daughter told her what a witch she’s being in regards to you – she would quit? Or at the very least, feel shameful enough to not repeat the behavior? If so-- your DH needs to talk to his sister.
I am sorry about the Due Date. June 6 gets me every time.