In reference to Det 7:12-14 God promises us that we will be fertile and produce healthy babies. So why do people have miscarriages and have retarded babies if they are practicing and believing Catholics?


Interesting question…will be interesting to see what folks have to say.


I have often wondered this myself. “Why, oh why God do I have to suffer like this? I am a “good” person, I practice my Faith??” I have had miscarriages, and also my husband and I have experienced years of infertility. Sometimes I have been angry and bitter about this. I cling to my belief that God knows what He is doing. We have beautiful children through adoption. So, I believe that is why He chose us to suffer this cross. He wanted us to be blessed with the children we have. Out of bad, comes good. Please refer to the article cited in the “Infertility” sticky above. It is a beautiful reflection.
Like Karin, I will be looking forward to discussion on this subject!


I just happened to stumble across this. It is not something that I would normally respond to. I am 55 years old today. I have two sons (aged 25 and 22). DW and I had two other children lost through miscarriage. Your question is quite insensitive. I did not lose two children for they are with Our Lord in Heaven. I did not have the joy of raising those two children, of seeing them grow to adulthood although the first would be older than my 25 yr old and the second would be older than my 22 year old.

No one knows the will of God. No one knows why He allows things to happen. This father will tell you that he cried his eyes out upon the loss of both of his children. I simply can’t believe that this was posted!


thank you for your responses. I did not intend for people to be offending by the question. I also want to congratulate Gianna for her sharing of her personal experience. I know it must’ve been hard to tell that story and I respect and honor it. I think it’s great how you continued to have faith in God and He did promise you children, and He came through! I guess most of us are just used to things being done in a certain way that we fail to see that God does work in mysterious ways. May God continue to bless you and your family!


God promised this to the people of Israel for starters. Just like he promised them their lands and territories, which lands and territories we haven’t inherited simply for being spiritually descended from the Israelites.

Secondly, he promised it conditionally - IF Israel as a nation would remain faithful to him. The OT records that they in fact didn’t … hence the Babylonian captivity and numerous other sufferings.

Thirdly, my prayers and thoughts for everyone who has lost a child or who has a child with any problems. And the word ‘retarded’ is incredibly offensive - you could use a term such as children with developmental problems.


I think the issue lies in the phrase “healthy babies” – those little souls we have lost (4 for me now) are with Jesus – how much healthier can you get? Just because it doesn’t match our definition of the word doesn’t mean it isn’t happening as promised – sometimes we have to ask the question “what if it’s not all about me?” Sure I’m sad, and sure there are plenty of times I’m angry, and I still cry plenty (see ER last night!!!) over our losses; but I firmly believe that they are healthy and happy with the Lord, and accepting the fact that He gets to enjoy them before I do is a part of my faith – it sure gives me something else to work for tho


No child is “lost”, we just lose sight of them temporarily.


**As for health… **

**I have always found it interesting that those with the worst physical/mental situations are often the cleanest of heart and closest to God. ****The sick and the infirm are nortorious for showing us God - if we are willing to see Him in them. **

Let us not forget, the worst deformities are not found in the body or even the mind. They are found in hearts and souls.


My wife had a miscarriage. We were told that it could have been a malformed baby. I think that this is part of life here in this world. It was very traumatic and bloody I remember, she had to go in and have an ultrasound. She was really bleeding alot.


I am a mom who has had 2 miscarriages. I still feel like a mom to those babies.

He allows it to happen because it is part of His plan for us. We all have a purpose though our purpose may not be clear till we meet Him and all is revealed. The baby has a purpose as well.

Maybe we needed a personal saint in heaven praying for us and for our spiritual battle on earth.

Maybe we need to learn patience and trust in God and to draw us closer to God. The baby’s short life was one method God selected to fulfill His plan.

Who’s to say - and God’s ways are not our ways.
May God bless all parents who have endured a miscarriage.


Mary, the absolutely pure and sinless woman, the most perfect creature God every made, was not spared the loss of her own Son. How can we expect our flawed “goodness” to protect us from similar pain in miscarriage?


My prayers are with all on this thread who have lost a child. My only consolation I can give is that I’m absolutely sure they are in heaven right now and are interceding for all of you.


I have had two preborn children die this year. I really can’t say why my children died, but I believe that God has a plan for those children. I try to always remember that God doesn’t judge us on what happens in our lives, but on how we hand what happen in our lives. Theresa was born dead on Mother’s Day, at 31 weeks. We gave her to Our Blessed Mother as her gift. Baby Joseph Marie was born dead Nov. 6th, at 14 weeks. Hi Obituary has become our prolife message. I try hard to offer all the suffering of loosing those two children up to Jesus. It is incredably hard and I try to just keep my faith in My Holy Father’s will. My two little Saints are my prayer partners and I ask for their continual intercession. I am honored to have two children in heaven.


My son is three today. He has Down’s syndrome. When I found out via ultrasound I honestly didn’t think there would be anything wrong when he was born, as these things happen to other people.
He is the best thing that ever happened to us. He is a joy, and an extra special gift from God. We enjoy him so much. My mom said that God sent him to us because He knew we’d take care of him.
So yes, we have a son, who in the eyes of many is not perfect, yet we are Blessed and proud to be given the honour of being his parents. God makes no mistakes/no errors in production. It is only us in our sin who can’t see sometimes the awesome perfection of such children.
He really is an example to us - he loves unconditionally and his whole face smiles to greet us in the morning. How I wish I could love so easily and so unconditionally.


CatholicSam - this was such a great answer!! :slight_smile:

I have had three miscarriages and have a son with autism. I agree with what someone else said; I do not feel that I have lost these children. I just haven’t had the chance to hold them yet. Someday, God willing, I will be reunited with them for eternity in Heaven. Until that day, we gave them names when they went to Heaven and I “talk” to them daily.

As for my son, I consider him perfectly healthy. He is special, not unhealthy. Let me tell you, at Mass last Sunday, he was trying so hard to do and say the right things at the right times, which is a lot more than I can say for a good number of the children there.

My son has autism, I have MS. God has His reasons for giving us these particular crosses to bear. When I was first diagnosed, I was very angry with Him for a time. But I am now closer than ever to God.

And to keep me from being too elated by the abundance of revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan, to harass me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I besought the Lord about this, that it should leave me; but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities, for when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

One last thing, you really shouldn’t use the word retarded. I know that there are many of us on this forum who have specially-abled children and that word is very distasteful.

God bless,



My theory: it’s a result of sin-pollution in the world.

One doesn’t have to actively contribute to this sin-pollution, and may well do everything possible to avoid it (the devout believer). However, one is still impacted by the overall pollution in the world, just the same as someone’s health may be affected by air pollution (even though he travels by foot or bike and avoids all other contribution to air pollution possible).


When I was really young, I saw a kid with special needs in a grocery store. I asked my mom what was wrong with him and she answered:

There is nothing wrong with him. He is a blessing. God gave that very special little boy to a lady that God knew he could trust to keep him safe and love him until it is time for him to go back home. Anybody who has a child with special needs is a person who is especially loved by God.

I still believe this. It takes special people to love and raise a child with special needs.

BTW, the mom of this boy I think heard my mom, because when we passed her a few isles down, her eyes were wet and she just simply put her hand on my mom’s arm when we passed by.


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