Miserable morning with the kids


#1

This morning started out fine, but went straight downhill after that. I feel like I’m going crazy with these kids and with life in general. I can’t seem to potty train my oldest and my middle girl got mad when I turned off the TV and kicked my 6 month old in the face. It took a good 20 minutes to settle it all down. I WAS going to clean, but it just doesn’t seem to happen. Now when I can I find out its nearly 11!!! And its time to start dinner already!!! I’d like to puill my hair out. Please, are there any other mommies out there with miserable days like this or any one who has a cute kid story ( I could use something to cheer me up) or any one with advice for a mom who has three girls(two can’t stand each other) the kids are ages 3,2 and 6 months, in regards to effective discipline, cures for I’m bored syndrome (the three yr old) and potty training help etc. Prayers would help too. Thanks a lot!!!


#2

I can safely say I think we've all been there. It doesn't help that it is freezing out. I see you're in ND and I am sure it can't be much warmer than it is here in PA.

I'd write more but I have to go wake up my almost 3 year old to go run an errand downtown. THAT should be fun!


#3

Perhaps this poem can help. It was written for teachers but I think it applies equally well to mothers.

“Have you a new sheet for me, dear teacher? I’ve spoiled this one.”…
I took his sheet, all soiled and blotted…
And gave him a new one all unspotted…
And into his tired heart I cried,…
“Do better now, my child.”…

I went to the throne with a trembling heart, The day was done…
“Have you a new day for me, dear Master? I’ve spoiled this one.”…
He took my day, all soiled and blotted…
And gave me a new one all unspotted…
And into my tired heart he cried,…
“Do better now, my child.”…

I will pray that your day gets better. I am sorry you had such a hard time today.


#4

katie,

a million hugs, a cup of hot cocoa for you and— look---- here’s me bringing the footstool over so you can put your feet up.

our kids are from age 29 down to 3 years old. we have ten of them. people warned me that ‘these times’ would go by so fast. come again??? some of my days surrounded by baies seemed to take a WEEK to get through! fast? hardly. still, i wish i had taken this advice MORE often than i did:

when things are just about to fall apart (or any time you can see it coming)
stop everything.
sit with kids-- fighting girls on left and right, baby in lap.
sing something.
clap.
look in their faces and see into their beautiful eternal souls.
say a prayer with them.
sing something else.
clap some more.

breathe.

breathe.

breathe.

pray some more.

say to your self and to your girls: it won’t always be this hard. it won’t always be the dark days of winter.

when you feel just a little bit better, decide, what’s the ONE thing I will do today beyond caring for these little bodies and souls? (make it a small thing. choose wisely.)

then, when the time is right, set about doing it.

at any time, your rule is this: if I can’t complete this task without remaining loving, charitable and patient, then I just won’t complete this task.

if you complete the task, you’ve had a successful day.

if you had to abandon the task in favor of peacefulness and charity, then you’ve had a successful day.

if you loose your cool, then pray an act of contrition and just work on peace and charity again, just for today.

the funny thing about my housework-- NOBODY ever came to steal it while I wasn’t looking. the not-so-funny thing about my babies-- when I wasn’t looking, somebody came and replaced them with little kids. (and they knew how to say all my favorite cuss words… sigh…)


#5

Right there with ya sister....praying for you!!


#6

Well, when you’re dealing with three girls that close in age… just know that there will always be two that hate each other. They will periodically rotate which two hate each other.

Eventually they stop kicking each other and find really good names to call each other.

There will always be one that will stand in front of the tv hypnotized and transfixed and motionless. That spot will also rotate.

Be glad you didn’t clean the house. Because if you did it would just be dirty again tomorrow.

Your reward for these days will be three teenage daughters someday who won’t fight anymore. They will all be in solidarity and agreement that YOU are the b---- and you ruined their lives. They will tell you this. You will look back on this morning as the good ol’ days. So enjoy it. :smiley: (The idea they someday will have similar children themselves gets ME through this particular phase.)

When the three year old is bored, give her a wet paper towel and show her how to scrub marks off the kitchen floor. She is young enough she might actually enjoy that. Set her to folding clothes after that. Might be the only time she ever helps. Take a picture of it so you have proof someday.

(Seriously… “come help mommy” as you get one or two things done might kill her boredom, or make her take refuge in the puzzles and dolls after all because ANYTHING is better than what you have to do. Even a three year old can figure THAT out!)

Call grandma and have the two year old tell her how she kicked the baby in the face. Whether she proudly does it or cries and begs you not to tell will be an indication whether you need to set money aside now for future therapy.

Turn on some music and teach them how to dance. That should kill 10 minutes and put you in a better mood.

Remember that 10 years from now it won’t matter whether you got anything done this particular day. It really doesn’t.

And sitting drawing pictures with them can be a giggly fun time. Be sure to date the pictures and put them away. Someday you’ll come across that picture and remember the day and it will fall into a different perspective.

:thumbsup:


#7

I still remember someone telling me when they heard that my first 2 were going to be 16 months apat : " the first 3 years are a blur!" It is so true. You are so busy with taking care of little ones and diapers, and housework, etc. My oldest was only 3 1/2 when my 3rd one was born. I totally get were you are. Take a breathe! Others have been there, done that, got the T-shirt, and survived, and you will, too. Even though you may not feel like it right now. :wink:

Potty training advice: Use sibling rivalry! I know, not what you expect, but it can be effective. Give up on the older one and start with the younger. I had to stop pushing with my oldest who was hard headed. She finally came to me right around 3 and asked for big girl pants. From that day forward, she would use the potty. So, maybe seeing her younger sister getting the attention that she had got, might get her motivated to not let her little sister beat her. Also, a friend with 4 kids used to use lollipops as treats. Whenever the one being potty trained would use the potty, all of the kids got a lollipop. This encouraged the others to help and remind the one being trained since they all got a treat. Eventually, they will be trained, but it isn’t easy.


#8

Every, and I mean EVERY, mother has had days like that. Unfortunately, it won’t be the last time you have a day like that either, but the older they get the fewer you will have. Here’s a funny story for you: This happened when when my oldest son was age 2 and my other son was just a few months old. The 2-yr-old was in the middle of a full-bore temper tantrum, laying on the foyer floor kicking and screaming. The infant was crying in my arms because he was hungry. My nerves were completely frayed trying to deal with both the screaming and the crying, and then the doorbell rang. I answered the door to see two young men nicely dressed in suit and tie, Jehovah’s Witnesses, staring at the scene that opened before them. They took one look at me and wordlessly gave me their tract and turned around and left!!!

Just some advice you may want to consider: For me, the first thing I had to learn was to plan to accomplish just one housekeeping task per day. (i.e., wash the floor, or clean the bathroom, or do some laundry, or vacuum). If I got more than one done, that was fantastic, but only one per day was the goal. And the house did stay clean. And here’s a related tip: the task doesn’t have to be done all at the same time. You can clean the bathroom sinks and toilet in the morning, and the tub and floor in the afternoon or the next day. I think we feel stress because we can’t get it all done in the time allotted, but really, it only matters that it gets done at some point, not necessarily all at the same time.

The second thing I had to learn was that dinner didn’t have to be a major production every night. Sometimes “opening a box and a can” (as I call it) is all the time and energy you have for dinner, and it will give you a decent meal in 20 minutes.

I read somewhere once that it’s when you are most on edge with your children that you should be the most gentle. Discipline with love, not anger.

Blessings.


#9

Every, and I mean EVERY, mother has had days like that. Unfortunately, it won’t be the last time you have a day like that either, but the older they get the fewer you will have. Here’s a funny story for you: This happened when when my oldest son was age 2 and my other son was just a few months old. The 2-yr-old was in the middle of a full-bore temper tantrum, laying on the foyer floor kicking and screaming. The infant was crying in my arms because he was hungry. My nerves were completely frayed trying to deal with both the screaming and the crying, and then the doorbell rang. I answered the door to see two young men nicely dressed in suit and tie, Jehovah’s Witnesses, staring at the scene that opened before them. They took one look at me and wordlessly gave me their tract and turned around and left!!!

Hahaha. I would have run after them yelling “Wait! Don’t go! I was praying that God would send someone to take these kids off my hands! And you rang the doorbell!”


#10

My mom told me I was really hard to potty train (ew), but at some point my grandmother got involved, sat me on the potty, and wouldn’t let me get off until I went. After that, I was potty trained.

(I feel totally disgusted after typing that.)


#11

I lost my daughter just a few minutes ago… ok, maybe lost is the wrong word since we live in a one bedroom apartment and she really can’t go far. I got busy doing things, thought she was playing behind me, then realized I didn’t hear her any more. When I didn’t see her immediately, I went to the other room (one bedroom makes it pretty easy to find them when they wander off :wink: ) and she was sitting next to her bed pointing at it. I guess she thought it was time for a nap and silly momma wasn’t putting her to bed so she was going to do it herself :shrug:


#12

Maybe these would help? :smiley:

Mommy putting the milk in the pantry, and the Cheerios in the fridge.

Mommy stepping on an open tube of toothpaste. How did that get there? Why is it on the floor?

Mommy forgetting about the ten-times-used tissue in my pocket and then putting those pants through the wash.

Daughter wearing a pair of my underwear around her neck.

Mommy wondering if that pair of undies is from the dresser, or from the hamper. :ehh:

Daughter (4 years old) and son (2 years old) table dancing without clothes on, on the dining room table, reaching up for the light fixture. I only went to the bathroom, and I was only gone for 2 minutes!!

Daughter and son running around naked outside in the backyard. The dining room chair was pushed over to the door and the child-proof lock was unfastened. That’s it, no more bathroom trips for Mommy…


#13

thanks for that poem! It’s just what I needed today. I’ve been having one of those days where too much tv is watched and not much gets done and my poor DH takes more than his fair share of complaining.

OP, I hope your day is looking up too.


#14

Your post brought back memories…I had so MANY days like that when the first 4 were babies (oldest was 4 1/2 when I had my 4th). This stage really does pass. And no, I don’t wish I could go back, not on your life! But I do wish I could have wrapped my head around the fact that my life wasn’t going to be like that forever. Other mothers would tell me that, but I just couldn’t believe them.

For our family, life improved vastly when I started going back to school. Being at home 24/7 was killing me. Are you able to get out of the house at all? by yourself? It’s amazing what just an hour or two of down time a week can do for you.

A happy, healthy mom makes for a happy, healthy family.

One word of advice: perhaps you should not worry about potty “training” and let your daughter decide when she is ready. I saw so many of my mommy-friends beating their heads against the wall over potty-training issues----it can become such a battle of control between mother and stubborn toddler! I just put out the potty chair, introduced them to the idea, occasionally provided incentive (m&ms!) for accomplishment on the potty, but never really pressured them at all. The approach worked, as none of them are still in diapers :wink: Just a thought.

And truly, this stage really does pass. My children are now between the ages of 6 and 16, and I am enjoying this stage of parenting MUCH more than the early years. You know, nowhere is it written that mothers must enjoy all stages of parenting. We just have to do our best to get our kids through them as lovingly as possible.

After the kids are in bed tonight (or after your husband gets home and can take care of them!), run a hot bubble bath, pour yourself a glass of wine, and relax with a good book. I do wish I had taken more time to take care of myself when the kids were younger; perhaps those years would not have been quite so difficult!


#15

What a beautiful post!! I’m going to copy this. Thank you for sharing this advice.


#16

Just what I was thinking! You should have invited them in to help you clean up as a sign of their Christian sincerity!:rotfl:


#17

[quote="SarahR, post:15, topic:184886"]
What a beautiful post!! I'm going to copy this. Thank you for sharing this advice.

[/quote]

All of her posts are like this -- Every single one. Seriously, she should write a book. :D


#18

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:


#19

Charish these moments:

Oh how much;
I MISS…
Breaking up you and your brother from fighting over Drinks, and Food,
Tripping over the shoes that you have just liberated from their “Jail” of a shoe rack,
Hearing you sing to the morning sun,
Picking you up by your legs and swinging you around to hear the “Giggle”,
Making your training roadmap to the state wrestling Championship,
Dreaming of what you were going to be when “you grew up”,
Picking up the VHS tapes that you would pull down looking for “Elmo”
That “Face” when I would scratch your head,
Your devilish smile when you did something mischievous,
Cleaning your breakfast off the floor,
Getting a free shower when I was just giving you a “Bath”,
Trying to teach you to learn to share when you knew that the “World” was rightfully ruled and owned by you,
Holding you when you were sick,
Playing “Tickle Bug” and you would laugh before I would touch you,
Your giggle when you would be hiding,
My death grip on you when you wanted to just wanted to get down,
Finding the PCs “Big blue screen of death” after your were just playing with the “Mouse”,
Building a castle of blocks with your brother and have you knock them down and just “Giggle”,
Watching you single handling making a war-zone from a “Just” cleaned living room,
Watching you pull all of the toys out of the toy bucket after it was just filled,
Watching you have no fear of the “World”,
Watching in amazement your God given gift of “Wanderlust”
Pushing the curls out of your eyes,
Watching you crush every Pea before you ate them,
Seeing your “Monster” walk with your arms held high and the “Growl”,
Hearing your mother scream a “Jimmy!!!” after you tore all the foam out from inside the couch,
Seeing you gulp a 10oz juice cup in 1 minute flat,
Watching you fulfill my unfulfilled “Dreams”,
To never being able to hold you’re first born,
Almost buying a new TV, but only to find out I had to finishing fixing the first one you started to “fix” in the first place,
Watch you stumble down and just to get up and keep going,
Saying, “That’s my Boy” when you did something to make a Father proud,
Hearing you and your Brother giggle yourselves to sleep,
Cuddling with you, but only when you would allow it,
Saying, “I love you” to your face,
Fighting with you to try to clean your face,
I WANT…
To break up you and your brother from fighting over Girls, and Cars,
To trip over shoes again,
To hear you sing to the morning sun,
To pick you up by your legs and swing you around to hear you giggle,
To unrelenting driving, and pushing you harder and harder on our way to a Olympic Gold,
To find out what you would have been when “you grew up”,
To pick up VHS tapes forever,
To scratch your head,
To see that devilish smile when you just saved the “World”,
To not cleanup after your last breakfast,
To get free shower again,
To teach you how to make the “World” rightfully yours,
To just hold you,
To play the “Tickle Bug” with your kids,
To always remember your “Giggle”,
To never release the death grip,
For you to teach the PC to fix “big blue screen of death” itself,
To build a castle of blocks with your brother and have the feeling of “it’s all just for not”,
You to single handling making a war-zone from a “Just” cleaned living room,
Not to ever fill the toy bucket again,
You to never know “Fear”,
To watch your god given gift of “Wanderlust” bear the fruit of “Life”,
To take you to the barbers to get a haircut,
To see crushed Peas,
To watch your “Monster” walk with your arms held high and to hear the “Growl” one more time,
To hear your mother scream a “Jimmy!!!” again,
To drudge to the kitchen to get you juice again,
Your brother and sister to not be the only ones to fulfill my “Dreams”,
To hold you’re first born in my arms,
To fix things that you started to “Fix” because you thought they were broken in the first place,
To pick you up and console you over everything,
To make other fathers “Jealous” of me,
To have your brother someone to giggle with,
Cuddling with you even if you don’t want it,
To say, “I love you” to your face,
To just let you have a dirty face,
I will Always…
Love you,
I will Never…
Forget you,

XOXOXOXO…

                                                           Daddy

#20

Thanks so much for all your help. I feel a lot better now:) Its nice to know I’m not alone and to hear that other people have kids that run around naked when you’re only out of the room for a few minutes.

Lately the girls love to yell “CHARGE!” and run from one end of the house to the other:) They can get along, when they want to! That morning was just nasty, actually the whole day was crummy. Another cute thing my oldest did was after getting hit in the head with a quarter of an apple (not the funny part) she can’t stand being wet, so she pulled at her head saying “wet wet” She wanted me to take it off (her hair) :slight_smile: I tried to dry it for her but she was kind of miserable for a bit.

I’m going to try the potty “training” advice:) I was hard to potty train too, Mom tried everything with me, then found out I had a weak bladder, it wasn’t my fault!!! So I’ll ask my daughters doc about this next time.
Thanks again:)


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