I’ve been uncertain all week how I felt about attending mass today for the holy day. I had mostly planned to go, but it’s been a tough week and I can’t say I wanted to attend. I set my alarm last night hoping I would get up and go but still unsure. I woke up early this morning to my job telling me someone was a no show and then ended up at work. I work in a hospital and do our team’s scheduling so when someone doesn’t show I’m then responsible for finding someone or going in myself which I had to do due to the short notice and needing to start the commute which is an hour.
The worst part is I had plans to go to confession today and had been waiting all week to have that opportunity. To say I’m discouraged is an understatement because it seems I can’t have a normal encounter with the sacrament to begin with and when things like this happen it’s hard not to think I’m just not meant to go (similar things happen to prevent it nearly every time I plan on it… and it’s not usually work related). Now I don’t know where I stand in regard to missing mass and am unsure if I should mention it if I decide to try again to go to confession. I hate to go there if I don’t need to as it’s something else for me to struggle through while in the confessional.
Please let me know what you think.