Missing mass


I started missing mass a few weeks ago and I find that I’m really not missing it as much as I thought I would.
I’m enjoying being able to spend time with my friends.
My parents say I don’t have to go back to mass if I don’t want to and when they go I love finally being home alone for a while.

However I love Jesus so much and I still pray. Is missing mass ok as long as I’m a good person and love Jesus???

No, it’s not OK. But don’t take my word for it. Go talk to your priest. (It’s time for confession anyway since you have missed Mass deliberately.) Do what he tells you.

No. It is a commandment of God, and you are committing grave matter (i.e. mortal sin) to purposely miss mass when you are not ill or prevented by something serious (snow storm, etc). Shame on your parents for slacking in their duty to teach you the precepts of the Church and God.

Shame on the Church for not doing the same. Many of the parents today don’t know the precepts of the Church. It all stems from the Church becoming lax when it came to teaching these things. It’s up to the shepard to lead the flock. Well the parents are part of the flock as well.

Please don’t talk about my parents that way I find it really upsetting. I’m lucky to have my parents.

I know people in my class who are so nasty but the adults think butter wouldn’t melt and they such show offs. I hava a reason that I started not going to mass in the first place and I feel its more important to be a good person.


I went through a stage of missing mass when I was younger without good reason. I did miss it, and returned to the Church, went to confession and also discussed my ideas about Church with my family and some friends there.

It is great that you still pray, however, I find the peace offered in Mass and time to reflect really valuable. It took me a while to realise this. It is also possible your parents are giving you the opportunity to take ownership of your faith by giving you the choice whether to accompany them. You may find that, having missed mass for a few weeks you will see it from a different perspective.

I wonder what would encourage you to return to the Church? Is there anything for you as a young person growing up in the Church? If not, perhaps this could be an ideal opportunity to discuss this with your priest. Is there the opportunity to start a youth club, attend an event or just talk about your faith with others your age? I went to a youth club at my church which wasn’t particularly faith based, but was an opportunity to meet with others and engage in different activities. I felt like I belonged. This is the reason why I have become a youth worker, because I think it’s important the a Church supports young people to understand and develop their faith more,

I understand you have had negative experiences of Mass and the attitudes of others in the past, but please don’t let that stop you. You are lucky to know Jesus, and He can help you to become a good person. Whilst attending Mass every week isn’t the only way to do this, it can provide opportunities to learn more about your faith and to make it relevant.

Don’t give up on the Church. Give it a second chance, as God will give you a second chance.

Take care

Something else is more important then God. You are putting Him in second place by not going to Mass. It may seem attractive at first but it ends up hollow in the end. You can try to rationalize all you want but in reality you are going to end up on the losing end. It’s a very slippery slope…trust me I know. I started to do that in the Protestant Church and ended up getting very distant from Christ.

Your parents probably don’t want to shove religion down your throat as they know it has to be important to you. But you probably greive them by not going…and they are trying to set an example for you by going. You should take notice.

Well, I didn’t say anything about your parents, but I did recommend, and I recommend it even more now, that you go to confession and talk to your priest.

It is NOT more important to ‘be a good person’. My dear girl, attendance at Mass is a requirement–a responsibility and a right******** for all Catholics. So if you want to be a good person, you need to fulfill what is required of you. If you do not do that, then how can you call yourself good?

If you decided to get married, let’s say, and your husband decided that for one hour a week he was going to be ‘unmarried’ to you, and commit adultery, but except for that one hour a week which he NEEDED for HIMSELF to relax him, he treated you like a queen. . .well gee, would he be a GOOD husband? Once a week adultery, mind you, and then he comes home with flowers and chocolates and spends the other days being the perfect prince charming. . .

I would hope that you would say that even if he was ‘good’ the rest of the time, that one hour spent NOT holding up the responsibility of being your husband, no matter if he claimed he ‘needed’ it, would be sufficient to make him ‘not a good person’.

We don’t EARN our way into heaven. And we especially don’t find our way if we smack God in the face with, "I know what you ask of me, one hour a week, but MY needs are more important, what I want is more important, I think you should judge me as good even when I refuse to do what you ask of me, because I know better than you, God… . "

Yes, it is important to be a good person. But we need the Church to help us.

In Matthew 22:37, Jesus told us the two greatest commandments: “He said to him, “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

These two greatest commandments are a summary of the Ten Commandments. The 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Commandments detail to us how to love the Lord with all our heart, soul, and mind – and the third commandment is:
“Remember to keep holy the Lord’s day.”

The Lord wants us to worship Him, not for His sake, (although He deserves all the worship we can give him) but for ours. Because He knows that we need that regular contact with Him to keep strong in grace. We need to worship as a body, the Body of Christ on earth, because we are not individuals in Christ but a Church in Christ. We worship together, work together, rejoice together, cry together, and pray together.

Jesus can’t be separated from the Church because He IS the Church. When you stray
from Church you are straying from Him. That is why God gave us the third commandment.

Please continue to go to Mass and remember that you meet Jesus in the sacraments,
particularly in the Eucharist. Being Communion with Him by receiving Him in the Eucharist and receiving His grace is the most important thing we do as Catholics.

One more thing. . .

You know how at Mass we all look around and we see people who are really hypocrites? The girls who are all fake ‘nice’ to adults and mean to their peers? The guys who are all ‘respectful’ to an adult’s face and make faces behind their backs? The ADULTS who are all ‘fancy’ and pious at church but then go home and drink, and smoke, and lie, and cheat, and steal? What hypocrites! How do they DARE call themselves Christians? They should be perfect, like me!

Hey, wait. I am sure that I’m not perfect. Isn’t it strange that I can find fault with all the people at Church for being nasty. . .but I don’t see the nastiness in ME? If I’m expecting everybody at Church to be perfect, shouldn’t I be perfect too?

IOW, hon, if God allows ME, with all my hypocritical nasty sinful ways, to come to Him. . .maybe I’d should be more careful about tending to my OWN flaws and trying to be good before worrying about how awful OTHER people are.

Maybe I should be thanking God for the opportunity He gives for me–and all the other sad, miserable, sinners in the world–to come to him.

Good reply :thumbsup:

On the way home from Mass on Sunday, on the Christian radio station that we were listening to, the Dj said he had asked his son earlier if he thought that Jesus really minded that we missed Church today and his son’s reply was well Jesus knows that He’s on the top of my list so no, Jesus doesn’t mind.

This DJ is wrong. Alot of people I know think going to Church on Sunday is a “man-made rule”. They will use the Bible story about how the Pharisees distorted the Sabbath with all the silly additions to the point of burdensome. But the commandment about keeping the Sabbath Holy is God’s law not mans.

Our Heavenly Father, God, thought it was so important that He gave us the Sabbath out of His abundant love for us. He desires that we set aside, one day, a day different from all the other days of the week to rest in Him and to make this day a holy day regardless of what we would prefer to do. We do the things we prefer all the other days of the week.

May I suggest you pray and perhaps read God’s Word. Sometimes, when I am searching for an answer to a difficult situation, I will show up at Mass during the week and I am always so amazed how God will always use His Word to reveal the Truth to me and I always find the answer by the grace of God! Praise God for being so faithful and so good no matter how many times I stumble, He is always there to pick me up and guide my steps towards Him. Amen!

A good book to read is Do I Have To Go To Mass? by Matt Pinto. Peace to you in your journey home to Heaven.

Since we are part of a community of Christians, who are not perfect, we no only do what is right for ourselves, and what God has commanded, but what is good example for others and will not set a bad example for them. We know Christ God taught us that we are our brothers keeper.

Some basic teachings are here, on our Catholic practices:


It strikes me that many people, in considering this issue, have lost proper perspective on what it is to attend church. It is sort of like how most people living in the Western world today probably don’t remember life without electricity or indoor plumbing. Luckily for me, I’m old enough that my grandfather was raised in an era that had neither of these luxuries, and he passed the stories of his life on to me before he died about a decade ago, so that I can always have in mind how life once was, and be thankful for all that I have. God willing ,if I ever have children of my own I will make sure that they know those stories, too.

For us as Christians, our Fathers (or “Church parents”, if you will :)) have told us what a great joy and blessing it has been to gather together in worship, and how central it is to the life of the Christian community. But we’ve mostly forgotten their lives, because we are wrapped up in our own. Being a “good person”, you see, takes time, so who can be bothered with the stories of the ancients and what they went through? It takes even more time to be “good” when you are trying to do it all by yourself, too, which is another problem of modern Western societies…

Jesus Christ does not need to see you in Church. He does not need you to eat His body and drink His blood. He does not need your praise nor your prayers to sustain Him. All of these are for your salvation, which you may work out any which way you choose. Y’know, free will and all that. But I think it is good to listen to those who have come before you, and faced all the challenges that you have faced and more. I don’t know or really care why you are not going to church (in the sense that it is none of my business how you conduct yourself). I just know that if centuries upon centuries of saints, recorded and unrecorded, were also good people and gave everything they had, to their very lives, in order to worship God in spirit and in truth, then the dichotomy of “go to church vs. just try to live a good life” is against the witness of the Christian life as it was in the beginning, among those who were closest to Christ and His apostles and disciples. It is a modern, false dichotomy. For sure God loves you no matter what you do, but if you do nothing for your own spiritual welfare then in what sense are you accepting of the love out of which He has called you, and given you the power to be a child of God? It is a far greater love than that of your parents, so to have you defend your parents from perceived attack in this thread while not honoring also your Father who is in heaven by even spending ONE HOUR A WEEK gathered together with fellow Christians, in remembrance of the ultimate gift of His Son…well…I think there are deeper problems here than the internet can fix. I pray that you will realize what you are keeping yourself from. It is easy to stay home (and, really, it becomes easier every time you do it), but you will not find the narrow path that leads to salvation in your living room while lounging around in your PJs.

I’m going to answer this without responding to the other replies that you have already received.

Mass is a time for worship, and is in fact the highest form of worship. Mass wasn’t designed to be fun or enjoyable (not that it can’t be - Mass can be very enjoyable and fun). It is meant to be a time for us to reflect on all that Jesus has done for us. How God’s sacrifice has given us eternal life.

Mass is a time for us to say thank you and a time for us to celebrate the greatest gift of Jesus’s sacrifice.

I promise you, that missing Mass is in no way going to help you in the long run. Right now it may seem like hanging out with your friends is the better option, but in reality and in the long run, I am certain that you will recognize that this is not the better option.

Part of loving Christ involves spending time with him. The sacraments, especially the Eucharist, provide a perfect opportunity to engage more deeply with the Lord. Imagine what kind of relationship involves skipping out on the most important meeting every week. Relationships involve communication, and the best opportunity to communicate with Christ is during Mass.

Bravo, dzheremi!

This is why we all advised you before to keep attending mass, regardless of your feelings for your priest. This is why we told you to go to a different parish if you could, or to go to your regular parish and ignore your feelings as best you could.

Not going to mass when you are REQUIRED to go by Holy Mother Church is a very slippery slope. Now before you slip further, go back to mass. It’s not about how you feel if you miss it. If it were only according to how we feel, I wouldn’t attend mass every Sunday either.

Get to confession, and start going to mass again.

Thanks everyone for the replies.

Constantconvert you have a way good memory. Yes that’s why I not been and maybe a tiny part of why I don’t want to go back.

I understand what your saying but I don’t think returning to mass is right for me.
I’m happier not going and feel better about myself.
I promise I will give mass and my catholic faith another try when i’m older and might look at things differently.

Church for the sinner is like alcoholics anonymous for the drunk. You might be all right at first but you run the risk of falling. The longer you stay away from church the more corrupted you can become. And besides, can you give up one hour?

I think what you are going through can be a very natural part of a person’s spiritual journey. Especially in our world today which has become increasingly secular and self-serving. The temptations to break God’s commandments, and justify it can become very easy. I’ve experienced it myself in my own life. Especially in my high school years.

I’m glad that you love Jesus… Amen! Take that time each week to show him how much by spending an hour with him (at least) at Mass. Receive your sacraments regularly - especially confession so that you can receive communion when you go. If there’s an adoration chapel near you, spend some extra face time with our Lord.

At this time in your life it may not seem as important as it will someday when you perhaps become a parent yourself, but it is very imporant. Not only is it what God asks of us, but it also strengthens our faith and soul in ways that we may not even realize. Never forget, that Satan is hard at work in our world. Nothing makes him happier than to see God’s children stray and give into temptations. By receiving our sacraments regularly - something we are so extremely blessed to have as catholics - it lessens Satan’s control and makes God happy. Wouldn’t you rather make God happy than Satan?

I’m glad you posted. I will say a prayer for you.

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