Missing Mass

Before my marriage, I went to church every Sunday because it was what I was brought up to do and, eventually as my relationship grew deeper with God, felt called to do. Unfortunately, I have not been attending regularly for two main reasons:

  1. It is increasingly difficult to juggle to small children (6 months and 2 years) who are loud and unmanageable in the “crying room” of my church. I get rude looks and comments sometimes and end up having to leave 15-20 minutes into Mass. I can’t concentrate on the Mass because I am tending to them, chasing the 2 year old, etc. My husband does not attend Church with me because he does not respect Catholicism, even though I thought he did before we got married.

  2. Because my marriage is failing, and we are seeking counseling (myself with a priest as well), I am hurt that God brought me to this marriage which is too painful for me. He won’t have sex with me (except for procreation) and there is no affection. I saved myself for marriage because I thought that was what God wanted and now I am in an affection-starved marriage.

I guess my question is this: Is it unrealistic to have these feelings that are leading me to miss Mass? I don’t want to sin, but when I am there with the kids, I’m not really “there” and I’m bitter and hurt as well. I’d appreciate any input.

Follow your priest’s guidance on this matter.

I pray that your family issues get solved and you live a peaceful life. I feel that if you could spend some time with our Lord even if it s 10 mins in the church, it could give your peace and wisdom to be courageous in your life.

I hope my PM can help a little,
Prayers and a hug,

It’s my understanding that caring for small children is considered a valid reason for missing Mass. I hope you are able to work things out with your husband.

God will never leave you nor forsake you. Whatever else happens in your life, stay connected to the Church and to the Sacraments. Nothing on this earth is worth the loss of God’s grace in the Sacraments.

Be sure to speak to your pastor specifically about these things, because he is your spiritual father and has legitimate authority over you in the name of the bishop. As 1ke said, follow his guidance.

I would say since we are living in the great apostasy and the new mass is invalid you cannot go. You should stay home and say the rosary, www.vaticancatholic.com explains the situation.


I can relate to the marriage part of your situation. My wife considers herself non-religious and doesn’t attend Mass with me. I am also starved for affection and intimacy.

Sometimes my wife agrees, and I take our two young sons to Mass. They don’t run around, but they sit and keep complaining that they’re bored. I have to keep them “entertained” and usually miss out on Mass. However, just being there with the parish and in front of the Eucharist is a tremendous blessing for me.

I will keep you in my prayers.

Topaz :slight_smile:

This post has absolutely no point. The OP has real problems and you come on here and bother her with nonsense. I see you are new to the forum. If you want to stay on it, you have to follow the rules. Invading random threads and posting stuff like that is against the rules and unproductive.

I’m sorry to hear of your pain but you have turned to the right place. The other posters were very wise in advising you to follow your priest. I want to say that when my children were very young (we have 4) I felt often that I wasn’t “getting anything” out of Mass. However, I have come to know that those weeks/years of just being there, praying as best I could, and receiving Jesus were the things I needed most. I pray that your wise counselors can help you and the Holy Spirit helps your husband.

Congrats on getting yourself banned.

Wow…very rude and uncalled for.

I have children too. A little older but they still need direction at mass. In your situation I would still go. Forget the rude looks. I don’t understand people that would do that. If you are in the cry room there is no problem. It is normal to feel distracted especially with small children. God’s grace is still there for you and your children so you should endeavor to go. I will pray for you. And speaking to your priest is a great idea and you should follow his counsel.

You have every right to go to Mass. Your children have the right to go to Mass as well. God wants you there. God welcomes you and your children into his house. It absolutely infuriates me when people give you those looks because you’ve brought your children. We have a two-year old and she has, like all children her age, a limited attention span. It is impossible to keep her quiet the entire Mass. Those people who give you those looks: remember it isn’t their church, it’s God’s house; it’s not their Mass, it’s an act of worship of God who completely welcomes you. If I get the opportunity I simply say to these people: “Let the little children come to me, and do not stop them …”. No one to whom I’ve said that has given me or my wife the look again.

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