Missing my hubby


#1

Hi Family Life friends…

I hope you don’t mind me coming here for a little bit of support. I hope you can help lift my spirits.

As I have mentioned before, my hubby is in the military. He left for training (about 2 hours away) at the beginning of September. He is not due home until October 23rd. Today I just can’t get over my sadness and lonliness. I just miss him so much.

He has been able to call me most nights and even came home for 2 surprise visits when he had to drive his CO into the city. But he won’t be able to call me for the next week due to the nature of the training.

So, if anyone is around to chat I’d love to hear your words of wisdom. Maybe we can have a contest to see who can make me laugh the hardest?:smiley: .

Malia


#2

I’m sorry to hear that you are missing your husband. I hope time passes quickly for you. I regret to inform you I have no jokes to make you laugh at this time. I have been having trouble laughing myself lately, but I will try to think of something. My thoughts and prayers are with you.


#3

[quote=Anna’s Mom]I’m sorry to hear that you are missing your husband. I hope time passes quickly for you. I regret to inform you I have no jokes to make you laugh at this time. I have been having trouble laughing myself lately, but I will try to think of something. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
[/quote]

Thank you so much…I know you are out of your mind with worry for your baby so I really appreciate your effort of replying to my trivial post. Thank you.

Malia

p.s. I am still sad and lonely, but I am ok. Just a blue moment I guess.


#4

I too am sorry that your feeling down and out today!

Laugh? It’s hard to laugh when you have the blues :frowning:

My hubby works a lot…I mean, up and gone by 6:30 am and doesn’t come home until about 8:00pm…I already usually have kids in the bed, supper cooked (trying to keep warm for him).

I know that you don’t have children right now…otherwise, that would keep you busy. But mostly, try not to resent your hubby at all. I know that I sometimes feel resentment toward my DH because he just isn’t home…dealing with the things that I am dealing with. However, it does bother him at times. And that’s when I’ve got to be the loving, supportive wife…

So, I’m sure your hubby feels the blues when he’s away also!

How about I add you to my prayer list today…if you need more than a day…let me know. (honestly, I keep a list and write down my prayers for the day…short term memory loss…kids do that to ya!)

If all else fails…buy some lipstick :thumbsup:


#5

Nothing that a big batch of double chocolate brownies won’t fix! :smiley:

When my hubby would deploy, I spent the first week in a daze and eating brownies! Then I would stop feeling so down and hit the gym. I would then spend the next six months on getting in shape and learning somehting new for myself. When I did not have kiddos yet, I would hit the gym the first thing in the morning. I did not have any littleones to keep me from going yet, now I have a treadmill in my home, so I do not have excuses. One depolyment I learned to basket weave, and scrapbook, another time I learned how to quilt and garden. I was living in an older housing area and we could garden away the whole yard if we wanted, now I hear they only let you work in pots because the housing is so new and condo like.

Honey, I know the hardest time is at night, because during the day you can find something to keep you busy. Just keep focusing on that he wants to be home with you, many marriages can not say that! Also, you need to find the Military Wife prayer, it is about asking God to help you to let go of your selfish wants so your husband can do the job God has called him to do! It gets reduntant to keep hearing how your sacrifice for our country is so important, so try looking at it from a calling from God perpective. God chose you to be his wife because deep down he knows you can handle it!

Go find a good book to get wrapped into! This will be good too!
Sorry I do not have any funny jokes at the moment, I will need to check my emails from my BIL, he sends me corny jokes all the time!


#6

No funny jokes here either, unfortunately. I definitely know what you’re going through. My DH was deployed to Germany for 16 months (I went 10 without seeing him at all), and then for a month for Katrina. It isn’t any fun, and it’s difficult to keep it all together, but with God all things are possible. I also hit the gym almost every day (it was either the gym or the Church to keep me sane daily with a baby), and relied a LOT on my family. I know you’re disabled, but anything you can do to improve your health will improve your mood. I found that the best antidote for the blues was definitely exercise, NOT the brownies, because then I would just feel guilty for eating too much and unhealthily on top of my depression.

Maybe we should have a left behind wives clubhouse? :smiley:


#7

Know you aren’t alone! My husband is also deployed and I am left on the ‘homefront’. Not an easy task - I have no idea how single parents do it every day (and it doesn’t help with the lack of consideration some of these posters have on us - but I’ll save that for another time).

Nights are the worst - the empty bed. I find myself typing on the Forums instead of facing that bed.

Right at the moment, I don’t have any “funny” moments. As you know, life is a struggle it seems each day.

I guess the best words of wisdom I have is that each day that passes, another sunrise happens bringing us closer to our reunion.

PS - I’ll start the left-behind wives thread, but I’ll change the name due to the book series - LOL!


#8

The nights alone are the worst part…Tim’s in the Air Force, and the only thing I really dread when he is gone is night-time…and sleeping by myself…it feels lonliest then…

here’s a joke for you…(warning, its one of Tim’s jokes, and he’s notorious, like the rest of the men in his family, for Horrible jokes…but they do make me laugh)

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer, and a mop…

that’s it, that’s his favorite one…

don’t worry sweetie, he’ll be home soon!


#9

mmmmm! brownies!
hope this doesn’t offend anyone (said by a small child)
The neighbor boy wanted to come in and see my baby this am. He is 5 yrs old and very interested in her. While he was here I had to change her diaper. The child followed me into the bedroom. When I removed her diaper he exclaimed "Wow her butt-crack goes all the way around!"
Not intended to offend. hope it made you laugh it did me.


#10

Thank you so much everyone (and I do appreciate the jokes…sometimes I feel like my humor-part is the only thing I have left that still works right, lol).

You are definitely right about nights being the hardest. Today is a new day and it will be busy running around (mostly for dog food, lol).

Because of my physical limitations, I cannot fill my time with exercise or housecleaning (but I do what I can). I enjoy these forums and good suspense novels most! But brownies do work… mostly during those “life will be just fine if I could have a brownie” moments:D.

Thankfully, I have never felt even the slightest twinge of resentment towards DH yet. But I am extremely lucky to have him. I know that he hates being away from me as much as I do and when he is home he more than makes up for it.

If anyone knows where I can find that military wives prayer I would appreciate it.

Thanks again everyone. There was almost no one online here last night when I posted so it was a nice surprise to see these messages today.

To any of you who spend nights alone, what do you do when something scares the **** out of you? I have a huge dog so I am not too worried about intruders, but I had a weird experience the other night that just felt evil. I still don’t know if it was real or a dream. I could definitely use all of the prayers I can get!

Malia


#11

p.s. yes, you caught me… I don’t wake up until around noon!:eek:

My sleep patterns are all screwed up and I haven’t been able to fix them in about 15 years, lol. So, this is just how it is. Stay up until around 3am reading or on the computer and wake around noon. So hopefully I won’t need you guys again tonight because you will all be in bed like normal people, lol.

Malia


#12

I don’t know about jokes, I’m not good at telling them!

But I have to say, thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I can hardly imagine the courage and sacrifice it must take to be the wife of one of our military men. I really admire you, including your “blue moments,” which you have every right to! :thumbsup:


#13

[quote=ProudToBCathlic]I don’t know about jokes, I’m not good at telling them!

But I have to say, thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I can hardly imagine the courage and sacrifice it must take to be the wife of one of our military men. I really admire you, including your “blue moments,” which you have every right to! :thumbsup:
[/quote]

Well, I am a Canadian military wife…not nearly as much sacrifice as my American counterparts, lol. But thank you.

Malia


#14

When Tim is gone and something has me feeling freightened or worried, I pray, read, keep a light on…talk to the dog…Daisy the Danger Dog and I have some interesting conversations at 3 am when I’m scared half out of my head…She’s on alert when Tim isn’t here (even if he’s at work during the day and she knows that he’s coming home) but even more so if he’s not home at night…she lets me know when something isn’t right, so I try not to worry too much, but when I can’t sleep I pray a lot and I read, normally a book about one of the saints…that way I have something good in my head already…

Perhaps praying a Rosary when you can’t sleep might help…

I hope you find something to help you sleep sweetie!
Jamie


#15

Scary noises at night, I have this huge mag light next to my bed when he is gone, it is about 2 feet long. It works as a flash light and something heavy to whack someone if I need to! :stuck_out_tongue:

I have a dog too, she is a lab, but when hubby is gone, she turns into protector/ alert warning dog. She always positions herself as the first point of contact if anyone comes near our bedrooms at night. I also notice she “does rounds” when he is gone too. She will walk the house over and sniff around a few times at night. I figured this out when her tags would jingle when she walked in the darkness. I learned to tone it out.

I know it is bad, but when he was going out to sea a lot, like more than 75% of the time, I put the small TV in my room. I would listen to it on low volume so I would have to be really still to hear it. I also set a timer on the tv so I could just drift into sleep and the tv would shut off eventually. If you have problems with what is on tv now a days, put in a favorite movie that you have seen a billion times like “Sleepless in Seattle” and it works.

Praying a rosary in bed helps too! I tend to drift off between the 3rd and 4th decade.


#16

I also want to extend my greatfulness to you and your husband for the sacrafices to keep our world safer. You both are in my prayers.

My three year old granddaughter always asks me if I have gum for work. The other day I did not have any and she went to her bank and got me change and said, “Now you buy some gum for work.” :slight_smile:


#17

I guess you are nearing the home stretch now, so the hours could seem like eternities to you if you are anything like me. I feel kinda guilty because my husband has only spent a few nights away from me-- 5 nights, twice. AND we had the benefit of talking on the phone every night he was gone. I miss him soooooooo much, even when he is just at work for the day.

Thank you for sacrificing-- both of you-- for your country and the world. I don’t think being a military wife would be my first choice, but if my husband joined up, that’s just something I would deal with, I guess. I ask God all the time to help me to focus my sacrifices!


#18

[quote=captaincatholic]I guess you are nearing the home stretch now, so the hours could seem like eternities to you if you are anything like me. I feel kinda guilty because my husband has only spent a few nights away from me-- 5 nights, twice. AND we had the benefit of talking on the phone every night he was gone. I miss him soooooooo much, even when he is just at work for the day.

Thank you for sacrificing-- both of you-- for your country and the world. I don’t think being a military wife would be my first choice, but if my husband joined up, that’s just something I would deal with, I guess. I ask God all the time to help me to focus my sacrifices!
[/quote]

Actually I got a call this morning that he is returning home today!!! Yay!!! But I am trying not to get too excited because things are more likely to change than stay the same, lol. The military is a “hope nazi” (no hope for you! lol). I hope you watched Seinfeld and his soup nazi or that will seem really weird.

As for choosing the military lifestyle… well, I dont think I would *now. *But in my younger days I thought the military life would be so sexy…HA! NOT!!!

When he comes home he will be getting a shower for the first time in almost 2 weeks…not so sexy, lol.

Thank you everyone for helping to keep me sane during this past 2 months. I love my CA family!

Malia


#19

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